Gifts [Taken from Live Spaces Blog, 27 abril 2007, 16:50]

It occurs frequently in our society that when someone gets some sort of prize, graduates with some degree, reaches a certain age, has a baby, commits to get married, marries, or achieves some other socially-acknowledged tradition, people are expected to give something as some kind of reward to this singular person being honored, promoted, aged, reproduced, or enslaved (let's call this person Bob); this something being given is usually called a gift. Social tradition has it that this "gift" be either enclosed inside a folded, colorful, crispy, taped-together piece of paper, encased in a shiny box, surrounded by clean translucid plastic, and/or decorated with a bright, colorful ribbon, a process called "gift-wrapping" which is sometimes even described as an art. When Bob receives a gift, he is very seldom interested by its packaging, and is kept curious as to what the gift is until it is time to unwrap it. When this happens however, the packaging is swiftly removed, thrown out, and usually destroyed, and no thought is given either to the time invested in ornamenting the gift or to what the actual use of this packaging was in the first place, since a plain cardboard box would have served the same purpose and it would probably have served in the future for other gifts and packages to come.

The decision of which gift will be actually given can be even more time-consuming than the gift-arranging. It is very common to see clueless people (let's call them Alice) roaming around malls, wandering in supermarket aisles, searching every nook and cranny inside their own houses for nice, abandoned could-be-gift objects, and mostly racking their own brains out to figure out what she should reward Bob with. This process is complicated because the gift must be a very particular combination. If it is bought, it must be good enough (expensive enough) for Bob to like, but cheap enough for Alice to be willing to buy it. If it is handmade, Alice must make it complicated enough so that Bob thinks that Alice cares for him more than she actually does. Usually, the bigger and fancier, the better. Given situations in which the deadline for the gift is near, or when Alice cares about Bob much less than the gift implies, society has somewhat simplified the process and invented joker gifts: gifts which are both cheap enough and appropriate enough for most occasions! Photograph frames, flowers, balloons, pre-printed (Hallmark) cards, liquor, chocolates, candy, and T-shirts are high on this time-saving list.

After what I consider to be a cynical approach to the gift-giving tradition, I must say that though they have become quite a burden on some people, they have obtained a purpose in society already: showing appreciation. Of course, I believe that if people learned to communicate well with each other, this much resource-consuming, sometimes awkward tradition could very well be put to an end. Until this happens, these artificial presents make up for it.

Anyway, I felt obliged to buy a gift for someone yesterday. I appreciate this person, so I bought her a fancy box of chocolates at a convenient supermarket and had it gift-wrapped with a ribbon of her favorite color. But it seemed so artificial - I would've very much preferred to write what I think about her and give her the script, or give her something she could actually find useful... something that made sense, you know. So I found myself thinking about the subject... what would've she really liked? Nah, I couldn't figure that out. Then, what would I really like to receive?

I've gotten lots of gifts from other people (though I've given them far less), and if memory serves, the frequency of gift-types is as following (highest to lowest):

1. Clothes (Socks from relatives and shirts from the general public. Maybe pants and boxers are not that fashionable)
2. Food (Junk food from relatives, candy & chocolates from the general public)
3. Cash (Thank you uncles & aunts! That's never a bad idea!)
4. Toys (That seems like such a long time ago, mainly for Christmas)
5. Cards (most pre-printed, some real)
6. Electronics (two discmen. Hardly ever used them, really)
7. Lotion (I got that about twice... maybe they were trying to tell me something?)
8. Deodorant (From a classmate in high school. Definitely trying to tell me something)
9. Fancy pen (Thank you Ania!)
10. 1 Soroban (Huh? Look it up)

So what would I really like? I thought of the following:

1. Cash (Most people think cash's not a good gift - I disagree. I think it's a really really nice gift. No kidding... everyone, not just uncles & aunts. If you're unsure what to give me, cash's the way to go)
2. Invitation somewhere (Be it a coffee date, movie watching, party night, national roadtrip, international sightseeing, adventurous trek through the wild, or torrid love affair, I love going places. Just tell me what, where, when, and how much. (Covering my expenses would be a Very nice touch ;) )
3. Lessons on something (I like to learn, you know. And I'm not really picky about what I learn - I like science, music, swimming, karate, magic tricks, crochet... learning makes me happy)
4. Words (Though pre-printed cards are sub-optimal, I like to read anything said honestly about me. Even if you say "bad" stuff about me, I don't care... The Truth is good. Verbal stuff is just as good.)
5. Unexpected stuff (A person giving something weird is surely a person to learn something from)

And what wouldn't I like? Hmmm, let's see:

1. Photograph frames (That is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO not me. I rarely keep my pictures in non-digital media, and it seems to me to be the LEAST-thought out gift ever)
2. Clothes (I know people think it's a nice gift, but I like to keep a simple wardrobe. Clothes are overrated. A plain M/L white cotton T-shirt would be nice, though)
3. Unpersonal greeting cards (Those hurried "Congratulations on this very special day!" cards do not make much for me. I'd much rather have a hug or a smile)

Yeah, I think that does it. No offense meant to anyone, whether he/she has or hasn't ever given me a gift.