Gratitud 2023

Este año he sentido y recibido maravillas, placeres, encuentros magicos, por los cuales me siento muy agradecido. Busco hoy escribir y compartir algunas de éstas conmigo mismo, con mi alma y con mi cuerpo.

A principios del año, tomé la decisión de visitar a seres en mi vida con quieres aún mantenía una conexión cercana. A cada uno de ellos visité, y a casi todos, les compartí mi nueva perspectiva, recibén desarrollada, sobre la existencia de Dios, la espiritualidad, y su rol en nuestras vidas, su influencia positiva si nos enfocamos en esos aspectos de nuestra vida. A mi familia, a Marcelo, a Pedro y a Auroar visité. Y a Anita. Cada conexión y visita causó gusto, y reoriente las conexiones sociales en mi interior hacia la aceptación de la espiritualidad en nuestras vidas.

Al volver a Suiza, conocí a Iris en un baile. Conexión nueva y cariñosa, prontamente nos acercamos y conocimos íntimamente, y encontré en ella una compañera con quien compartir alegrías, juegos, placer, y emociones sinceras y profundas. Compartimos vergüenzas, miedos, cara a cara en nuestros espacios íntimos, así suavizándolos y a veces soltándolos de nuestras vidas. Con ella navegué las emociones de celos, inseguridad sexual, culpa sexual, y siento que aprendí, y sigo aprendeido a soltar las cadenas que la sociedad ha impuesto sobre sus miembros con el nombre de monogamia. A través de este proceso, aprendo a guiarme, en mi camino, no por reglas y expectativas y tradiciones, sino simplemente por el amor de mi ser. Este aprendizaje requiere desarrollar discernimiento para conoer bien las raíces de nuestros impulsos, y confianza/valentía para actuar en los impulsos del amor, sea cual sea la forma que tomen.

Conocí también a Selina, con quien desarrollé una dulce e intensa conexión con mucho placer, y con quien navegué también los miedos de la culpa sexual en conjunto con Iris. Experimenté también con ella una satisfacción intensa durante el sexo, debido a su alta sensibilidad sexual. Mi niño juguetón y hombre protector disfrutaron y se nutrieron mucho de esta experiencia, y nos gustó mucho sentir nuestra alta intensidad sexual. Hermosas noches compartidas juntos en su cama.

Este año también viajé al evento MVU 2023 en Estonia, donde conocí a Lana, Aryana, y a Katrien, entre otras personas. Experiencias de sincronía mágica abundaron en ese evento, incluyendo el deseo simultáneo de Aryana y mío de encontrarnos en cierto momento, y de encontrarnos casi inesperadamente en el momento en que ella estaba a punto de enviarme un mensaje. También, la compra fortuita de dos objetos de comida, después de la cual me encontré por primera vez a una chica quien me ofreció compartir conmigo uno e los dos postres (yogurt? avena?) que ella tenía listo, pues así podíamos conocernos un poco. Tenía dos porque uno era para un amigo suyo, quien no atendió a la cita que habían hecho. Y luego, la resonancia linda con Lana, quien me envió la linda grabación que le femenino le dice al masculino. Hermosa grabación.

Agradezco el viaje a Montenegro que compartí con Iris. Agradezco el viaje a España y las ceremonias de Ayahuasca que compartí con Jean Claude. Agradezco el experimento de psicometría con el cual Jean Claude me ayudó, en el cual verifiqué para mí mismo la efectividad de la intuición. Agradezco la fiesta de Polyball que atendí con Iris, y las horas de trabajo que disfruté ayudando a crear las decoraciones de papel.

Y estos días, en particular agradezco el hogar, cálido, acogedor, que Tilda y yo hemos llegado a compartir, desarrollar, crecer, amar. Este hogar en el que compartimos gozo, historias, sueños, gratitudes, cocina y comida, baile, música y canto, y poesía, y nos vemos reflejados el uno en el otro con una resonancia que sentimos en el alma, mientras nos vemos sentados en lados opuestos de la mesa, y nos sumergimos y a veces perdemos en nuestros ojos. Agradezco mucho la oportunidad de, junto con ella, aprender a amar, a nosotros mismos y a todo el alrededor.

Dolor

El Amor también trae dolor. Placer y dolor.

Mientras más profundo se siente uno, más profundo se siente el otro. Porque lo que el Amor nos muestra, a donde nos guía, es a la Verdad Completa. Y eso incluye lo más profundo de nuestro Ser, quien es capaz de sentir los más profundos matices de dolores, gozos, placeres, y calmas.

La Verdad que el Amor muestra me lleva a sentir dolores profundos. Y los dolores piden ser vistos, sentidos, apropiados como parte del Ser completo que Soy.

Gracias Amor, por mostrarme esta profundidad de placeres y de dolores. Tengo la intención de enfrentarme a ellos todos. Con confianza en mí mismo y en el Amor, en la Vida. Confío en que siguiendo mi propio camino, guiado por mi corazón, continuaré practicando el escuchar al amor de mi corazón, el discernir entre los impulsos de miedo y de amor, y a continuar eligiendo el amor, para explorarme, descubrirme y conocerme, cada vez más, en toda mi profundidad y en mi inmensidad.

No me escondo ni me apresuro. Aquí estoy.

Aquí siento.

Aquí vivo.

Aquí sigo.

Te sigo, Amor. A través del placer y del dolor. Y al miedo escucho, y no le huyo. Lo enfrento, lo siento, lo entiendo, lo acepto como parte de mí.

Holy Grail

The problem with assigning anything

The role of the Holy Grail

In our inner world of desires

Is that then we turn blind

Unidimensional

To the variety of this wondrous world

It is that then we will seek nothing higher

Nothing purer

Nothing sublimer

Nothing truer

And then the world becomes a

Fallacious closed set

In which Life stagnates and withers

Like a sapling severed from sunlight.

The problem with a final answer

Is that it subdues the Conscious Observer

With the false promise of finality.

It prevents further InSpiration

Until we let go of the belief

That in that answer lay finality

And are willing to travel further.

To Live Again.

Partner

Ah. I see.

We do not hide our sexuality because we believe it is indecent.

Or filthy.

Or repugnant.

Or shameful.

Not truly.

Not deeply.

Not in the deep memories of our ancestors.

We hide it because that is where we have felt the most hurt.

Because that is where our sensitivity is intensest.

Because it is the densest physical channel between the polarities

Which grab and grope and pierce and cling and struggle and damage

Coarsely and clumsily and reactively

Compelled by the primal animal forces

Lust and fear 

Before they realize that their fellow connector

Is a partner, and not a tool.

Ah.

La Diferencia

La diferencia entre una mirada de atracción sexual
Que se siente limpia, apreciativa, estética,
Que da gusto y se siente bien recibir
Y una mirada de deseo sexual
Que se siente sucia, fea, repulsiva,
Que disgusta e inspira temor

Es que la primera siente los límites energéticos
Invisibles, mas tangibles
Impuestos por la persona mirada
Naturales, con frecuencia inconscientes,
Y los observa. Se mantiene afuera de su espacio íntimo.
La segunda no.

The Path of Love

The path of Love

Ah, I see now.

Tis the path of Truth

With clean, open channels

From the core to the skin.

Tis the path of Trust

With gentle, clear listening

Of my signals within.

Tis the path of Courage

To hold onto Truth

However unusual.

Tis the path of Service

Rejoicing in sharing

What's best for the whole.

We are children of life.

She wants us to live, to learn, to grow, to thrive, to enjoy.

To do so, we need only heed her voice and let her lead us

To the lessons in life

Correct and timely for us.

And as we do so, we also learn to trust the signs inside

Our guiding, signaling heart,

To guide our life.

Life is telling us:

"Yes, yes, you can trust yourself. Listen and follow."

River

My body but the earthen channel

Carved and moulded by the river

I truly am.

My stories but the silt

My flow has left behind.

Tis not the aim to safeguard this channel

Nor towards any direction to go.

For we all end up in the ocean

Once we've lived through the length of our flow.

May I flow full with waters of love

May I be grateful for others in my path.

May I trust in the wisdom of my heart.

Woman Within

Woman, do you feel

Your energy rise

As the eyes of man lay upon you?

As he follows your slopes

Past the veil of your clothes

And imagines how it is to feel you?

Do you sense it within

As he traces your skin

Along the naked curves you've deliberately chosen?

Does it please you to know

That he's drawn to you so

That his body and mind become frozen?

I wonder if their draw to you feeds

Your self-worth, and makes you then need

To excel in the crowd to feel well.

If so, realize your addiction

If you are to let go of the fiction

That your value only they can tell.

Your bones, skin, and flesh

Their wonderful mesh

Is not built to be appraised, but to be.

It's all meant for you

And though others see it too

Their perception is often deceived.

Look at you yourself

But deeper, your full wealth

Of the being you sense, think, and feel.

And therein then seek

The roots of your unique

Set of desires, pains, and fears.

Within you may find

Truths below the mind

Which when lit, will help you to heal.

For we all carry wounds

And if you heal them soon

Soon also you'll live much freer.

Pleasure

Learning to Love

Is practicing Pleasure

Following true Pleasure

Of the body, of the soul

While listening to the other

To the self and to the other

And following pleasure

Always pleasure

Of the whole.

One learns thereby

Via the magic synchronicities that nourish our Trust

That pleasure

Sought with the knowledge

That the other is in essence oneself

Equates to service

True service

Not mandatory good-doing

Not the mythical, martyred, nor self-ignoring altruism.

It's service

Of the self and of the whole

With the knowledge that the unit

Grows not truly

Is not truly

Without the whole.

We grow together.

For we are one.

Practicing true search of pleasure

Unabashed, uninhibited, unhindered by the imagined expectations of others

Softly, gradually, at the pace of nature,

Teaches one to trust in the signals of the self

Those subtle signals I don't know a word for

The length of an instant

The strength of a wisp

Those silent voices so often waysided

For they have no argument like those of the mind.

They do not justify nor persuade.

They are. For an instant.

Those tiny inner voices

Nevertheless guide us clear

From the depths of our truth

If we dare to listen and trust.

That which one truly desires

That one hides because it shines so much

That we fear others will stare

That we fear others will laugh

That we fear others will condemn

That we fear to try lest we fail

That we fear to try lest we were wrong

That we fear to try lest we succeed.

That desire.

THAT desire.

In the large and in the small.

In the now and overall.

Yes, that desire.

Find it and

Unhusk it to the core,

To unveil yourself of the delusion

That you desire a proxy

Instead of what you really really want.

Unhusk it via Why.

Why do I desire that?

For which reason or which purpose?

Find the true reason or purpose,

Discard the husk, now follow the trail...

Why do I desire THAT?

Discard the husk, now follow the trail...

Why do I desire THAT?

And so on.

And so on.

Until you reach that shining, essential

Aim or Longing

Reasonless, purposeless

That one desires because one desires because one desires.

Then follow THAT.

Feel and listen, as the aim

Moves and morphs with time

Yet keep your attention on it

Keep following it

Evermore.

Thus Live you through a sparkling path of

Purpose and Pleasure in the Truth of the Search.

Thus Live you

In Love.

Sutil

Las fotografías no capturan

Las memorias más profundas.

Las palabras no transmiten

Los sentimientos más sutiles.

Ambas herramientas son redes

Muy burdas, muy gruesas

Para sujetar los finísimos flujos

Que componen nuestro ser esencial.

Collective Hesitance

It is in the fearful reverence and frozen awe towards, and in the ignorance-induced hesitation to change or dethrone, that which provides us with comfort or structure

And in the oblivious lethargy that has lost Truth under the countless layers of conditions, expectations, and fears piled up and unresolved since birth

That lies the blockage that prevents the bulk of the populace from

Revolting against systems grown on the obsolete premises of

Deceptive pretense, Exploitative optimization, Fearful Prohibition and Punishment.

Love

Fear fosters Survival

By pushing against and rejecting that which causes pain

At times also hurting and causing pain to the other

By Design.

But when the units of one Organism have grown to a certain critical mass,

And the borders between them become denser, nearer, tighter,

The strategy of Fear turns counterproductive

For any pain that occurs between them, intentful or not,

Will induce more frequent Fear Reactions,

Which with borders so near and restrictions so tight,

Will bump back and forth and ignite one another's

Repeatedly,

Tit for tat,

Hurling force, blame, and hurt back and forth and around them

In a sustainable chain reaction

Which like nuclear fission

If allowed to grow unchecked,

To become supercritical,

Leads to exponential growth of released energy

And violent explosion therefore.

Thus is the strategy of Fear unsustainable

As the Human Organism grows

In these times of precise knowledge,

And near-instant communications.

Not only are our borders millimetered and grasped tight,

Territorial, Political, Economic, Cultural, Individual

But our reactions have sped up immensely

And disallow extant energies to dissipate and cool down

As longer times may have allowed before.

Danger lurks near

If we continue to rely on Fear

To guide our visions and decisions.

If we continue to focus on pushing hard

Against the shapes of our borders

Unwilling to budge inwards,

Yet content to overlook

"Accidental" trespasses outwards.

If we continue to worship

Formality, Tradition, Rigidity

Of humans, of systems, of faces, of clothes,

Unwilling to admit the Truth of our Insides,

Our Failures, Lies, Insecurities, Doubts,

Our Emotions, Confusions, Hurts, Victim Mentalities,

Of the Innocent Sincerity within that is silenced

Clasped shut under the iron makeup of the image

We still project to satisfy the expectations of others.

If we continue to believe that the borders around us

That the shape and size and prestige we encompass

Is the identity that defines us.

Territorial, Political, Economic, Cultural, Individual.

The alternative to the Strategy of Fear

Is the Strategy of Love.

When faced with hurt or startle,

Fear hurts back, pulls away, or tightens,

Fight, Flight or Freeze

Promoting turbulence in the Flow.

When faced with hurt or startle,

Love seeks the cause and sees it,

Observes it, unhurried, curious to understand

The full length of the thread

Its why's and its how's

Woven between the perceived Cause

And that which it rattled in Oneself.

It understands that the "Problem", the source of the hurt,

Is not necessarily in the other.

It could lie in oneself,

It could lie in the context,

It could lie in all three.

It understands that in Truth lies Harmony,

If we are cognizant and willing

To adjust and discard within us what does not align

With Truth.

Down to our Core.

No matter how uncomfortable such changes may feel.

No matter how much our prized long-held identity

Turns out to be False.

If we notice and drop and shed

The masks and veils and layers

That have encumbered us for so long

As we placed them around us and used them for shelter

Across the ages, along our life,

To avoid feeling the immensity and intensity of the Truth

With the supremely tender, subtle essence of our Beings,

Then can we allow Love to flow

Within us.

To light the forgotten

To heal what is wounded

To clean up our channels

So they may correctly,

In accordance with Harmony,

Relate to the rest of the World.

Thus proceeds Love

To care for, to clean, a hurting relationship

With another.

Not with Separative Survival

But with Blended Harmony.

One realizes the discomfort,

Stays his startled thoughts, body, and emotions,

And remembers to observe.

Refrains from blame.

Aims to understand.

Desires to know what ignorance within him

Or misshapen structure between them

Allowed this hurt to happen.

Love knows that such hurts and startles

Are not only unsolvable villains to guard against

But with humility at its side,

Knows them as signals of what we do not yet know.

Of the dynamics we do not yet understand

Of the neighbors we have not yet come to bond with

In a manner that recognizes them as

Vessels of Essential Life like our own.

With fears, hurts, confusions like our own.

With false identities, lies, and shames like our own.

Just as hesitant as us to show their true Softness

For fear that it will be considered Weakness.

And let loose the greedy vultures upon them.

Love aims to Understand

Even in the presence of Discomfort.

It is summoned by conscious awareness

To calm the animal reactions

To recognize oneself in the other

And to sacrifice our incompatible lies and layers

To the health of the one Being we are.

Sexual Cocktail

When one comes to understand and accept

The nature of one's motives, the fuel for one's actions,

To release the long-held shames inherited from the collective,

The oft-revered and almost mythical glamour

Of sexual encounter, engagement, culmination, and satisfaction

Is seen for the gelatinous cocktail of energies that it is:

A furtive eruption of the body's sexual waves

Otherwise suppressed under the veneer of decency,

A quest for self-worth validated by

The approval, domination, or seduction of the other,

Which sparkles brightest in a new connection,

And the (re)discovery of one's own sensual compass,

The guidance of our own pleasure,

So oft forgotten and buried under

The rushes and veils of justified civility.

Once these energies find acceptance

In the judgy courts of the mind

The sexual tendrils within,

Now unhindered by sullied connotations,

Can regrow and unswell to find balance

And proper function amidst the rest.

Inwards

Again and again and again

Life points us inwards.

Is the answer in that prize?

Ah no, tis but a mirage.

The desire to acquire it was in me.

Is the answer in that house?

Ah no, its comfort cannot rouse

The life threads that weave out from me.

Is the answer in that money?

Ah no, though it tastes like honey

The sweetness I perceive is in me.

Is the answer in my friends?

Ah no, they have their own journeys to tend,

And none of their paths can be mine.

Is the answer in romance?

Ah no, past the initial sparkling trance,

I'm again faced with just me.

Is the answer in my tribe?

Ah no, though it may nurture a healthy vibe,

The question is still unsolved in me.

Is the answer in that book?

Ah no, it only reminded me to look

Into what lives inside of me.

Is the answer in that technique?

Ah no, the predictable turned bleak.

It merely churned what is in me.

Is the answer in that magic plant?

Ah no, for though its powers seem to enchant

It merely brightened the light that was in me.

Is the answer in that dance?

Ah no, that only gave me the chance

To notice the vast subtle in me.

Is the answer in the skies?

Ah no, in their turning only lies

A symbol of the cycles in me.

Is the answer in that cave?

Ah no, the silence that it gave

Just allowed me to listen to me.

Is the answer in that master?

Ah no, though he may help realize it faster,

The realization is about me.

Is the answer in my mind?

Ah no, for it wishes to leave the question behind,

And the question is a crucial part of me.

Oh ho ho, is this chase then truly the fuel of our story?

And the mythical answer would but smother its glory?

Like we were looking all along to somehow stop and win.

Yet the only truth is the neverending flowing Within.

May Be.

The smile of the woman

The smile of the woman

The surrender of the desired

To me, the desirer...

Wherein lies its value?

Wherefrom comes the energy that fuels

The drive for me to seek it

The delight that floods my senses upon satisfaction?

What is the nature of the substance

Of which this value, desire, value, beauty lies?

The essence of that smile

The substance of which that fulfillment is made

What is it?

Wherefrom it rises?

That...

Sparkling....

Light...

Delight...

Aspects to Accept (Unfinished)

Jealousy of the classmate towards another

The sexual attraction towards another

The state of confusion or if disillusionment in life

The anger against another, repressed hidden contained.

The state of our body - its geometry, its aliveness, its fluids and capacities and limitations.

The genuine and intense excitement we feel towards anything in particular.

Substructural Iteration

The self-recursive, ever-encompassing Observer

Observes and observes and blooms Consciousness

Experiences and experiences and wakes to Awareness

Wonders and ponders unto Realization

And realizes the dream that were His knowledge

His experiences

His pains and pleasures and desires and ventures

Realizes the Secret of Himself

The stream in the endless river

The unit in the ordered Everything

And proceeds to take His rightful Place and Purpose

In the Weave of the All

Competition

Do we not speak with each other

in these anonymous cities

nor recognize each other's presence

except as moving obstacles

as we wait at the bus stop

as we walk the same sidewalk

as we queue at the grocery store

as we share the train home

as we meet on the hallways

because we see each other as competition?

as opponents, as adversaries

in an endless race to gather resources

we think we crave?

competing for space

competing for priority

competing for food

competing for sex

competing for attention

competing for acceptance

competing for money

competing for jobs

competing to prove we are worthy

or whatever it may mean,

that we are better or best?

competing to achieve milestones

like in some perennial Bingo card?

competing for that famed Ever-Happiness

so often revealed as mirage?

Do we treat each other like schoolchildren

whose parents warn them not to mingle

with some because they're poor, rich, or "racial",

too rough, too dandy, or too strange?

Do we still hold our outreach to others

at the limits of others' tolerances

though they may well now feel like our own?

Can we see through our limits of understanding

into these humans we've thought of as outsiders

and realize the source of our fragmentation

is not how different they are, but us?

just us.

it is us.

Laws

Laws that restrict instead of promote
Wall off the flow
Slow down the flow
If the intent is to stabilize
To prevent floods
Then dams seem like a natural solution.
Prevent the overflow.
Yet excessive damming
And restricted flow
Can produce stagnation
Inability to run
Fouling of the water
Forgetfulness of freedom.,

Laws arisen from the pangs of fear
Are perforce reactionary
And often short-sighted.
These require careful revision
In times of non-fear
In order to align them
With a sustainable flow
Or to remove them
To prevent needless bloat,
Unnecessary layers.

Laws that restrict instead of promote

Laws that restrict instead of promote

Wall off the flow

Slow down the flow

If the intent is to stabilize

To prevent floods

Then dams seem like a natural solution.

Prevent the overflow.

Yet excessive damming

And restricted flow

Can produce stagnation

Inability to run

Fouling of the water

Forgetfulness of freedom.

Laws arisen from the pangs of fear

Are perforce reactionary

And often short-sighted.

These require careful revision

In times of non-fear

In order to align them

With a sustainable flow

Or to remove them

To prevent needless bloat,

Unnecessary layers.

Gentleman

Quick narration of something that happened at an office I visited...

received by a fine gentleman

who offered me coffee

and I choose decaffeinato.

I felt welcome

cordially greeted

with my sense of belonging

my... non-separateness

considered and cared for.

thank you, kind gentleman.

Soy

Soy soy.

¿Qué soy?

Soy quien se nutre de experiencia,

Quien con fe, ejercita paciencia.

Soy aquel centro de conciencia

Que observa el mundo en quieta presencia

Y a mi persona cuando actúa, siente y piensa.

Soy conciencia

Fluyendo en experiencia.

peddle my wares

I look around at our society

this system of people and rules.

A mass of myriads of units

convolved, doing our best to make do

I see its flows and its cycles

its customs, its habits, its fares

and I feel that it asks of each of us

that we strive to peddle our wares

The human unit nowadays

depends on the dense social net

its mere right to survival

is bought with coin and sweat

Tis an axiom of the flowing

that to get one must perforce give

yet too often the immediate transaction

overrides the deeper zest to live

Too often see I peers and strangers

serving a stale or unwilling bond

measuring time and product as foremost

uninspired to do anything beyond

proving bare required and enoughness

justifying the wages they seek

but by bottling our service and efforts

our will fastly turns stale and weak

Tis not the nature of the service rendered

which degrades or shrivels the employ.

It is love in the service provided

which transmutes the must into joy.

It is whether I support the purpose

of a student well reared and taught.

It is whether I see in each cleaned floor

how it freshens and inspires he who walks.

It is whether I feel in a customer

her joy when she gets her croissant.

It is then that the mere ticking workday

is enlivened in the plain restaurant.

Do we see health in the ailing patient?

Do we see utility in the cracked?

Pouring love into our service

inflows us the love we thought we lacked.

And it is love that best guides our service

for love only stays if unforced.

So it's worth to listen to our signals

of where our love desires to go most.

Trusting love instead of the logic

can feel like a fearful leap indeed

for money and prestige and safety

are those which most often take the lead.

Yet we humans, in our momentous frenzy

to build and conquer and make

have grown rushed and lopsided

patching hurry and confusion with fake.

The great structures of humans grow rigid

in their zeal to not crumble and fall

yet we need change from rigid to supple

for us to know who we are at all.

So I see the society around me

and it asks me to peddle my wares.

Yet I come empty-handed, I have none.

My love wants only to help and to care.

I believe that I can help through listening.

I feel love when I touch and reflect.

Yet in language of degrees and salaries

I know of no job that pays to introspect.

I live amidst a web of transactions

and through savings, I cope and survive.

yet I long to, through loving, true actions

give my love-laden service, and thrive.

I aim not for inflated financials

I wish not that I garner prestige

but with my whole body, mind, and emotions

I wish to serve lovingly, either generally or in some niche.

Idealized Endpoint

Choosing to jump to or push through onto an idealized endpoint

Without taking awareness of each moment, step, and force along the way

Is like choosing to drive ahead on a train track

Without taking awareness of the state of the track and its cleanliness

Of the presence of debris, of worn, broken, or absent rails.

Driving through with willful, reckless throttle

May hurl out rocks and wooden, metal beams flying off

Hurting the vehicle or arbitrary bypassers

Unmeant hurt.

May derail and severely postpone arrival

If not completely prevent it

A broken bridge.

Is like choosing to dive headfirst into the uncharted water

Unaware of its depth

Unwilling to follow due diligence

With respect to one's integrity.

Cleaning and care need not fear

They move ahead with intent clear.

For they bring light to the pathways

We have not traveled yet.

Fracture

Seeking for help

Wailing to be seen

Crying for angels

To save them their fate

Relying on others

To settle the dispute

When only from the fracture

Can a solution come

That is real and absolute

Observador

Si este mundo es realmente

Esencialmente

El observador observándose a sí mismo

Sintiendo-se en toda su plenitud

Venimos entonces a observar, precisar

Lo suave, lo duro, lo verde, lo oscuro.

Lo ralo, lo denso, lo rojo, lo intenso.

El frío, el calor, el río, el color.

El ritmo, el espacio, el veloz, el despacio.

El llanto, la risa, el juego, la delicia.

El arriba, el abajo, y la dirección

Y el como se alteran con la rotación.

El número, el género, la polaridad

El orden, el caos, y la vacuidad.

Lo bueno y lo malo, lo extraño, lo injusto

¿Qué es eso, y por qué a veces causa disgusto?

Tristeza, enojo, prisa y paciencia

Son todos productos de nuestra experiencia.

Venimos a saber qué es la duda

Y cómo nos lleva a necias locuras.

Venimos a sentir rabia y pasión

Los fuegos internos de nuestra emoción.

Atracción y belleza, seducción y lujuria

El hambre de carne que se torna devoción.

El gozo, el placer del ser satisfecho

El éxtasis al acabar un trecho

La expectativa, y la decepción

Al ver que la finalidad era ilusión.

Lo corto, lo largo,

Lo estrecho, lo expanso

Lo tosco, lo angular

Lo fino, lo excepcional.

El cóncavo, el convexo,

La periferia, el nexo.

La similitud, la desigualdad

La proporción y la complejidad.

Contornos en masa, en curva y en recto

Delinean, denotan nuestro enorme cuerpo.

Las partes, sin pausa, quiebran y conmergen

Esculpiendo unidas el misterio latente.

El nada, el todo, y la unidad

Son las construcciones de nuestra verdad.

Los flujos que destilan nuestros sentidos

Son nuestra comida de nosotros mismos.

Y de los muchos espejos que abundan

Nuestro cuerpo refleja realidad de lo profundo.

El dolor, el trauma, la alegría y la calma.

Sentimos aquí los aspectos del alma.

Frescura de aliento y de sentimiento

El rancio que nace del estancamiento.

El ansia, la prisa, ¿por qué hipnotizan?

El triunfo y el fallo, tras tantos ensayos.

Construimos de nada el bien y el mal

Y polarizados, olvidamos lo real.

Desdén, avaricia, culpa y vergüenza,

Que surgen del miedo de mala experiencia.

Ternura y cariño, cuidado y amor

Que nacen de ver en el otro valor.

La fuerza, energía, impulso y acción,

La causa y efecto en la reacción.

La luz y el agua, el viento y el fuego

Son nuestros en este infinito juego.

El canto, el baile, la ciencia, la religión

Distintos caminos de exploración.

La forma, el patrón, la idea, el concepto

Venimos a sentir lo que es intelecto.

De la forma deducimos simetría

Y en las estructuras vemos jerarquía.

Los ciclos del tiempo y la continuidad

Permítennos sentir cambio y variedad.

El color y el sonido nos dan el gradiente

Y los ciclos nos muestran menguante y creciente.

La naturaleza, en todo ínfimo rincón

Se viste de estupenda geometría y patrón.

El nombre, el objeto, la identidad,

Marcas y escalones en esta inmensidad.

Conectando símbolos a toda entidad

La mente construye su red de verdad.

El plan y estrategia, la propia intención

Combínanse todos en la razón.

Y así refinando lógica e inferencia

Surge naciente la divina conciencia.

Y afuera miramos, queriendo entender

Qué fuerzas antiguas nos hicieron nacer.

Y en todo el universo, no hayamos más central fuente

Que el axiomático observador presente.

Podríamos toda eternidad buscar

El perfecto estado o el perfecto lugar

Pero tal demanda excluye el resto

Y no hay universo que no incluya el resto.

Entendamos que navegamos un mar

Y no hay playa perfecta ni isla perpetua.

Todo fluye y muta, y es ilusión el azar

Construyamos en cambio con esmero ejemplar.

Estamos en este preciso momento

Yo escribo, tú lees, en nuestro propio cuento.

Mas aunque sea vasta nuestra diferencia

Caminamos a través de la misma conciencia.

Pillory

My internal record keeper

My internal coach

Continues to want to check on me

To measure me

To applaud me

To reprimand me

For the choices I take

For the concepts I find

For the changes I effect.

Much like an attached mother

Continues to straighten her child's shirt

Praise his achievements

Chide his transgressions

Within the framework that once supported

The young stalk as it grew.

But the stalk has grown wider

Sturdy and larger

And the trellis that once held him

Has become a pillory

Constrictive, inflexible.

Unmeant, unhelpful.

The lobster shell outgrown

Must be molted

If the lobster is to move free.

The invested mother

May continue her ways

As long as the child

Responds still the same.

With pride at her praise

With shame at her reproach

With fear of her displeasure

With frustration at her insistence.

The way to release

The yoke of conditioning

Is to recognize it in me

Then pay it no heed

For I'll know when it shows up

In anxiety and doubt

I'll smell its scent clearly

When fear lingers about.

And slowly the paint flakes

Will fall off the wall

The old structure will wither

Until there's nothing at all

Between what I am

And what I wish to be.

Potter

we the potter
the collective potter
have much yet to learn
of the manner to mould our clay.

as we grow and sculpt our shape keeps distorting
away from that ideal
that we know we can be.

we keep pressing into the bumps that swell on the surface
from points of friction and conflict.
that is the old and tried technique
of fixing our bloats
our unseemly shape
by pushing it in
and cutting it away
of gliding over our problems
in this human world that waves
between pain, joy, fear, effort, hope
hatred, kindness, and confusion.

we keep crushing and cutting the lumps away
by reflex
thinking it helps
or thinking it delays
the "really difficult" part
for later
for someone else.

but
there is no one else.
it is just us.
it is just this.
tis our collective weave that is suffering
tis our shared pot that is threatening
to blow up and break apart
once more.

tis not needed.
the break is not needed.
we can learn if we ponder
penetrate into what is inside
where these bulges come from,
realize the dynamics
and acknowledge the subtleties
of the chemical reactions within us
the unintentional leaking of volatile gas
heated in the zeal of differentiated particles
as they repel and push off from one another
protruding up the surface into unseemly lumps
as we continue to grow
into each other.

our reactive mechanical bodges
pushing into the lumps
cutting and fragmenting
come from those frustrated, impatient,
unwilling to accept
that mere mechanics cannot solve the problem
anymore

our clay has grown past
the point where pushing and cutting are enough.
the mechanical must be transcended
if we are to fix it
if we are to heal.

the mechanics of the physical
must be acknowledged as the observable effects
of the chemistry of emotions.

we must reach the point where
the mere arithmetic of adding, shifting, and cutting mass
is well known, yet informed
by sincere insight into our own clay
and superseded

by the subtler synthetic power
of love.

the recognition

in the other

of oneself.

Temple

only once the dusty floors are swept

the grime cleared off the marble

the crystal windows are washed

and the storm has stilled

can the sun's rays pierce and shine brightly

and illuminate the temple's true beauty.

only once the body has been purified

the emotions have been cleansed

and the stormy thoughts are stilled,

can divine light shine through

and we see what is truly here.

Corral

Within the space of possibilities

Fears corral and partition the whole

Into the right and the wrong

Into the good and the bad

Into the this and the that

A necessity of the partitioned individuality

Yet

Limits individual exploration

Hinders growth if forgotten from the scope

Of consciousness.

Territoriality

Territoriality of knowledge

Partitions the field of the known

Into tiny human-sized chunks

Prevents mutual nourishment widespread.

Were we to learn the art of sharing

Not dictated by amounts and measures

But guided by the resonance of the moment

Not curtailed by the fear of injustice

But with trust in the tides of our life

Not ashamed by the flaws of our knowing

But impelled by the love of the True

Oh would we THRIVE.

Recognize

From a man's eyes

Do I chase chase chase beauty and grace in women one after another after another after another

Or

Do I recognize the source of the beauty that lies within these humans

Understand it

And recognize it within

Myself.

Finality

The illusion of finality

Brings many to rush or to lose hope

And fall out of balance from the natural cycles

Which merely flow and turn ever forth.

Believing any end is absolute

Brings some to seek shortcuts or to cheat

Accepting that end overrides means

Except there truly is no end

And one's path is sullied thereby.

The illusion of finality

Pulls our focus to the future

Out there where effort vanishes

Where lives the object of our desire

Waiting for us to redeem ourselves

With its magical touch.

"Come here, and quench your desire",

Says the phantom to our mind.

Finales, though they may be sweet

Or thunderous, relieving, or help one feel complete

None can definitely resolve

The substance in which we are mired.

They are but turns and cascades in this same river

Which holds many prisoners

Of their desire.

Realizing the illusion of finality

Brings one face to face with

The eternal continuity.

Evil

Adolf Hitler was a human. Joseph Stalin was a human. Ruthless leaders and cruel generals who mandate the repression, abuse, and deaths of countless others are humans. Thieves, murderers, serial killers, all throughout history, they have all been humans.

You are a human. I am a human.

Evil is glamorized. It is cut out from the rest of us, and considered "something else". In the realms of our mind, it is exiled to the dungeons and shunned from afar. We place it there because we fear touching it, like we would fear disgusting vermin or a venomous beast. We fear associating with it, or seen next to it, lest we be thought to be friends with this wretched evil. "No, we must not be seen as evil", we think. "We cannot be thought of as evil, lest we be thrown into the dungeons of their own minds as well". And so we fear evil. Fear is the dungeon, evil the outcast, and I am... "well, at least I'm not that".

Seen by whom? By "them". "Them, the world". "The people around me". "I don't want them to shun me". "I want them to like me."

"Besides, I'm not evil", says I. "I don't know why these horrible people do the things they do. What do I know about it?" "And why EVER would I want to get involved with the evil? Oh no... if I try to understand those people, maybe I will actually empathize with them, and maybe justify them, and be seen as evil just like them! Oh no, I don't want that, no. I don't know how evil works and I don't want to know. Someone else will know how to do that better, yes. Someone else."

While we keep what we think of as evil exiled in the dungeons of our fears, we cannot understand it. And while we do not understand it, we cannot engage with it, nor resolve it - in our mind nor in the world. Whether we localize evil in ruthless dictators, cruel generals, corrupt businessmen, callous politicians, petty thieves, deserting lovers, appalling parents, obnoxious coworkers, disloyal friends, rude strangers... do you notice we so often place the evil in humans? The humans they are, the humans we are? Can you trace their actions back to a source within them - a thought, an emotion, a fear, an anger - that you can relate to in your self?

Try. Seek a common source from which spring the actions you so detest. Only then can come understanding. Only then can you see.

Evil Label

Evil is a label. It is not any particular act nor person. It is no particular misdeed, injustice, tradition, lifestyle, nation, or race. It is but a label we choose to stick onto things in the world that we believe should not exist. It is a "should", a "to-do" label we put on our to-do list, and it's one of the tough ones. It seems so hard. This thing exists, and some of it all over the world. How can I make it not exist? How can I, a single human, do something about this evil that is spread all over the world?

Daunted at the difficulty of the task, we leave it intact. It's an item we keep skipping over each time we're figuring out what to do, because it seems so hard. Gradually we pay less and less attention to it, and skipping it becomes an automatic reaction, until it's a faded item on an old, yellow sheet at the bottom of the dusty pile of boxes in the basement, together with all those other to-do's we never go to finishing. But there it remains, and we know it.

Hunger

Hunger is the primal drive of the human animal. It is the embodiment of purpose in the physical realm. The manifestation of desire is hunger.
Hunger for food and water and sex at the level of flesh.
Hunger for attention and approval at the level of the emotions.
Hunger for knowledge and novelty at the level of the mind.

If satiation is reached,
the drive dissipates,
and impulse stills.

If long appeased is hunger,
the streams of desire and action turn sluggish
stagnate one by one
and run the risk of coagulation
clogging up their channeling pipes.

"stay hungry. stay foolish"
said Steve Jobs one day.
I see and feel the reasoning
for half of what he said.


Perhaps then once one finds satiation
of a long-held desire
and the lag of force begins to be felt

instead of simply stagnating
and waiting to feel hunger of the same
again
one can look around, pay attention
see what the world is and what it holds
see what one is and what it feels
how it feels
and perhaps find new twinkles and sparkles
subtle, unnoticed before
within our feelings and outside our skin
that can stoke subtler hunger
and continue to lead us further
once more.

Swan

Swan paddles its legs

because he wishes to change his position

to propel against the water

to impel himself.

Propulsion and (waves and ripples)

twin sons born out of

one manifested act.

Each then travels the vast universe

with a life of its own

oblivious to the existence

of his dual object

through which he then exists.

____________________________

We act intending to effect

often unaware that our act and intent themselves

are effects of some other source.

May we see causer,

and sourcer,

and deeper.

Cynicism

Cynicism is a quality
often attributed with destructive criticism
attack from a distance
disdain for its target
more a weapon or a method
than a quality

the key feature I see in it
is that of emotional repulsion
rejection
it fears emotional closeness
for once involved emotionally
the distance to the target collapses
and one touches what is scorned
and one is cynical no more.

tis worthy to consider
that such emotional rejection
is itself emotionally biased
and by repelling what it fears
it fails its own objective.

such disdain prevents one from applying potency
in the targeted field
like a force field it denies one access
by one's own hand.

then even when one realizes
there is value in what is disdained
dissolving the force field is not always easy
doing so carries the weight of repentance
and removing it often brings out shame
of having once disdainfully dismissed
what one now desires to explore.

Island Hopper

Island-hopper have I been

hopping from island to island

trading one island for another

trading one certainty for another

my body tight on the grasping

amidst the universal carousel

because it feels oh so safe

so cozy

to keep dry and to stay dry

and because it looks like so many others

struggle to swim lest they drown.

avoidant of swimming

afraid of the struggle

I struggle to keep my feet dry.

and dare not learn to swim.

until now.

I wish no more to grapple

from one happenstance rock to the next

the ocean is vast and therein lies

the freedom my soul yearns to taste.

only swimming

can one learn to swim.

Mistrust

Mistrust hinders flow.

Mistrust of anything.

Of what we think.

Of what we intend.

That the impulse we feel will not bear fruit

that the impulse we feel will lead us astray

fear that it will cause harm.

fear that we will regret it,

that it is a mistake.

Mistrust of our desire

fear that it is wrong

that it will be rejected

that it will be despised

that it will not reach its goal

that it will fail

Mistrust of our aspiration

fear that it is too high

fear that it will be derided

fear that it will be ridiculed

fear that it is not possible

fear that it will not reach its goal

fear that it will fail

Mistrust of our intuition

fear that it is wrong

fear that it is incorrect

that it is a hesitance

that it is a nuisance

that it is a bother

that it has no reason

that it is not justified

that its result is unknown

that it is unproven

that it disrupts

the patterns we know well.

Mistrust is but fear

that a presented something

bears different fruit

from that which is expected.

And fear is but aversion

to the rejected and the unknown.

But if we hold no expectation

mistrust does not arise.

And if we accept and know

that that which is unknown

is unknown

fear calms down.

*************************

remembrance and forgetfulness.

intellect is borrowed,

you were born with heart.

Estamos aquí

Estamos aquí porque elegimos estar aquí. Elegimos explorar lo que somos porque no hay más qué explorar. La Vida que somos se torna hacia sí misma y penetra, inyecta su atención hacia sus componentes, y encuentra y entiende sus distintas cualidades, las formas en las que se manifiestan, sus naturalezas, y las interrelaciones entre sus partes constituyentes. Y encuentra en cada una de sus partes a ella misma, Vida, el núcleo original, sustancial, que fluye y aviva cada forma, y del cual cada una de ellas brota, surge, explora y experimenta - el motivo esencial de todo movimiento y cualidad.

Y dentro de cada forma y cualidad, así avivadas, la conciencia surge buscando también entender, y explora su mundo y sus circunstancias, sus otros reflejos y manifestaciones, para eventualmente realizar que hay una sola Vida que sustancia y compenetra todo su mundo. Y entonces se torna también hacia sí misma y penetra, continuando la búsqueda interior fractal, aparentemente interminable, en su deseo de conocerse, abarcarse, y expresarse con toda plenitud.

Words

Words interact with each other as operators and operands. They represent objects and concepts, cognizable entities, pointing to them as addresses into the substanding semantic space. As they arise into expression, they embody entities/values/statements and operations between them. And as they operate on one another, interact with each other and with the context in which they are expressed, they join and blend to embody new entities/values/statements. Like chemical elements and compounds operate on one another and with their environment, and either react and blend to embody new values, or simply sit with one another in inert company.

Nouns are the basest operands, embodying entities of sufficiently commonly recognized lore that they are useful to a relative majority of the people who use and encounter them. In correspondence to a mathematical context, they embody elements of a set/field/etc (Z, R, nxn matrices, etc).

Pronouns are implicit pointers to other entities, whether they be nouns or constructed values. They are prone to ambiguity if underspecified. In correspondence to a mathematical context, they embody variables (x, y, z, i, j, λ, δ, etc).

Verbs denote a certain action, change, movement, event - a specific type of entity/operand. These can be modified by other operators to produce new/more specific types of actions/changes/events.

Adjectives are unary operators, which emphasise a particular quality of an entity or value. These are as diverse in their effect, direction, texture, magnitude, abstraction, and meaning as the semantic space is vast. Upon operating on a value, the adjective blends with the value to produce another value.

• Adj(E1) = E2

Adverbs are unary operators, which operate on other operators. Again, the potential diversity of adverbs is as vast as the semantic space itself. Upon operating on an operator, the adverb blends with the operator to produce another operator. The transformations in matrix multiplication lend themselves fittingly as an analogue of the adverbial transformation.

• Adv(Adj1) = Adj2
• Adv(V1) = V2
• Adv1(Adv2) = Adv3

Conjunctions join other entities together in specific manners. The various conjunctions embody different "techniques" of joining their operands, just as one can pour one fluid onto another, pour them mutually into a new container, drip one fluid onto another drop by drop, pour and stir, forcefully blend, apply or remove heat to both or either of the operands, separate them from each other with various methods, or perform similar joinings with solids, gases, radiation, or any mixture of the above.

In mathematics, many operators exist that serve the role of joining. In computer science, the general parameterized function also embodies the infinitely wide, deep, vast, and complex space of operations that can be applied to a plurality of entities/values in order to produce other new entities/values. Or more precisely, to produce new pointers to entities/values in the semantic space.

In similar manner, prepositions operate as a subset of conjunctions, specialized to indicate relative physical placement.

Determiners "tweak" other entities/values in order to point more precisely towards that which one wishes to evoke. Subscripts and superscripts in mathematical notation serve a similar role.

Interjections are mostly expressions of intent and/or of emotional state. As such, they mostly focus on the expresser rather than on his circumstances or on other objects.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

I often see some words used incompletely. Words that operate as conjunctions, for instance (though not always syntactically categorized as such), often lack or underspecify one or more of their parameters, which causes the resulting pointer to be ambiguous, and open to wide interpretation by the receiver. Ambiguity often leads to miscommunication, and this can disrupt and distort the flow of information and resources in a system such as the social one we inhabit.

Examples of such words are:

Need:

Indicates the factors that are required for one state to change to another. The needed operands for this word, then, are:

1. The former state.
2. The factors.
3. The target state.

• Need(FormerState, NeededFactors, TargetState)

Usage example: "I need a massage in order to feel good." Parameter values:

1. Former state (implied): My present state, in which I do not feel good.
2. Factors: Receiving a massage.
3. Target state: A state in which I feel good.

Rarely would this sentence be spoken in this extended form. Most often one says "I need a massage", and most of its operands are implied, if only vaguely. In particular, two operands in the operation of "Need" are often elided. The former state is most often assumed to be the present time (or whichever time the tense of the statement indicates - past, future, etc). The target state is most often assumed to be a "better"/"more desirable" state than the former, though what that signifies is generally left to the receiver's (and often the speaker's) ambiguity.

Commonly uttered statements of "need" very often focus only on the factors needed, for the statements tend to be evoked from desires, often inchoate, and not from a clear understanding of:

1. The process of change they describe, of
2. The target state this process intends to reach, nor of
3. The former state of affairs.

Very often, the meaning of "better" is unclear even in the speaker's cognition itself, and such ambiguity produces expression that dissipates energy in unclear/ineffective directions.

Too:

Indicates that a certain quality of an entity lies beyond a certain threshold, which revokes some specific status from that entity. The needed operands for this word, then, are:

1. The entity.
2. The quality.
3. The revoked status.

• Too(Entity, Quality, RevokedStatus)

Usage example: "The food is too hot for me to eat it." Parameter values:

1.  Entity: Food
2.  Quality: Hot
3.  Revoked Status: Being eatable by me

Again, rarely would this sentence be uttered in its entirety. Most often a person would simply say "The food is too hot." or "It's too hot.", and the surrounding context - sitting at a dinner table, considering a plate of food atop it - would serve to imply the meaning with sufficient accuracy.

But if he were standing beside the dinner table, considering another person's plate, is the implied meaning clear? Is the food too hot for the speaker to eat? Or too hot for the other person to eat? Or does he find the warm air around him uncomfortable?

And if he were a food engineer standing beside a giant vat of industrially produced food, what is the meaning then? Is the food too hot for the current processing stage? Too hot for him to eat? Or is it the steel vat that is too hot?

Though such examples may seem inane, they intend to convey the fact that ambiguity (and thus miscommunication) can arise from small differences in wording and context that are often overlooked.

And if we say: "The world is too screwed up", "The system is too corrupt", "People are too stupid", "That problem is too hard", or "That's too bad", are we conveying useful information? Do we ourselves know the meaning we want to transmit? Can we identify the actual operands upon which "Too" operates? Or do we use such expressions simply as long placeholders to signify a general sense of dislike, frustration, unwillingness, and "UGGGGGH", while sending blame away in some vague direction?

So:

Indicates that a certain quality of an entity reaches or exceeds a certain threshold, which grants the entity some specific status. The operands of this word are:

1. The entity.
2. The quality.
3. The granted status.

• So(Entity, Quality, GrantedStatus)

Its meaning is effectively equivalent to that of "Too", but with opposite connotations for the status. "So" has the entity gaining a status past the threshold, while "Too" has it losing a status. For instance, the following two sentences are equivalent:

• The food is SO hot that I cannot it.
• The food is TOO hot for me to eat it.

The ambiguities and risks that arise with "So" (as well as with "Enough") are very similar to those found when using "Too". The GrantedStatus or RevokedStatus parameter is SO often absent, actually, that both words are presently widely used as synonyms of "Very", a unary operator. And while some semantic overlap between words is common in languages, I posit it is important to retain the meaning of words that serve a unique purpose, so as to not forget their structures, that is their operator functionality, from the widespread language as a whole.

I propose we all strive to clearly understand what we mean before we speak it. Only then can we truly direct the intent of our expressions towards clear targets, and allow the flow of intent and information through each of us and between us all to be clear, smooth, continuous, and effective.