Love and sex

Men give love to get sex.

Women give sex to get love.

(It's kinda popular, look it up)

This makes sense to me in a number of ways. The clearest example I can garnish to illustrate this principle is to consider the following:

If a man pursues a woman, he talks to her, wooes her, gets close to her, gives her gifts etc. He expects to eventually reach a level of intimacy with the girl that extends unto the physical level. But if finally the woman does not agree to physical intimacy, the man feels cheated upon. Rejected, down, failed. He offered his love to her but she did not give him what he wanted. The unfulfillment of his goal of sex, or some level of physical love, is a serious downturn for him.

If a man and a woman find each other, like each other, and engage in sexual activities, the woman then expects the man to find her lovely and important, and for them to engage in further activities besides sex - she wants to "talk", she wants to go get some coffee, or share some other menial activity of the sort. She wants him to consider her important enough to spend his time with. But if this does not occur, and the man, satisfied with his physical goal achieved, disregards the woman as used and unimportant, then it is the woman who feels cheated upon, failed, rejected, worthless at times.

But if a man were to meet a woman, have sex with her, and the woman would walk away after, with no sign of love coming from her towards the man, the man would not necessarily feel cheated upon. Some men would indeed feel relieved. And if, in contrast a man and a woman were to meet, have a great conversation, and the man would obviously leak out his love for the woman, idolize her, but make no attempts at physical intimacy, the woman would not necessarily feel cheated upon either. If the woman really wants sex she might feel disappointed, of course, but hardly rejected or cheated upon. The man's attention upon her already marks a success for the woman.

See, for an average single man, sex is a precious commodity. Obtaining it requires effort, planning, and the will to pursue it single-mindedly. For the average single woman, sex is not hard to get, due to the high demand from the men's side, but being truly loved and cherished is not all that common. Supply and demand.

This is not to say that men do not seek love or that women do not seek sex from their partners. Both are comforting aspects to receive, but I believe what I describe is an accurate depiction of the instinctive interests of men and women. The man's "offensive" attitude and the woman's "defensive" attitude towards the game of love and sex are roles deeply embedded in our societies today.

I assert the former based, from the man's perspective, from my own personal experiences and from friends. And the woman's perspective, I base upon experiences from close female friends.