Smile

A smile denotes acceptance.

An acknowledgement of seeing

and accepting what one sees.

not necessarily support

not necessarily understanding

but acceptance of what is seen.

Why is it so often

held back from fellow street-goers?

Why does it feel at times

that a smile can be menacing

that giving a smile can be dangerous

that a smile needs to be returned

or else shame ensues?

In this game of avoiding

the risk of smiles

often not a single one is given

nor received

as we walk through herds of hundreds

as we keep our precious acceptance away

from the unknown masses.

And even eye contact

is also pushed away

for the subconscious conversation that arises when it happens:

- "Oh hello, I see you."

- "Hi, I see you too."

- "How nice. Do you accept me?"

- "What? Hold on, I don't know you, and I don't trust you. Do you accept me first?"

- "What? No way, I don't trust you either."

- "OK, so we see each other, but we do not accept each other."

- "I guess we reject each other then."

- "Well, I don't want to see the thing that I reject and that rejects me."

- "Me neither, I'm out of here."

in an anxious shared split-second

feels hesitant and draining

and it is much rather avoided

by our subconscious taskmaster

who, incognizant, merely feels

the wordless discomfort,

and would rather place his attention

on most anything else

just not their eyes

please.

The belief that a smile can be dangerous

derives from the assumption that

mostly, an unknown person will seek me

only if he/she has something to gain by doing so,

and that his gain

necessarily means my loss.

Three examples

of mostly-undesired interactions come to mind.

- "I want money. Give me some of yours."

- "I want your beauty. Let me enjoy it."

- "I want your attention. Listen to me."

All of these derive from lack,

and seek to feed by taking from another.

They all begin with eye contact,

and are often followed with a smile.

If we come to realize that such eye contacts and smiles

are almost always lures to take something away from us,

we learn to see smiles as dangerous,

and we all end up avoiding each other's gazes

as we do now.

But the withholding of acceptance

between the billions that roam the earth

has us starving for acceptance

as we hide each other's water

within our pent-up fears.

To loosen up these fears

the proportions must be altered

the assumptions must be defied.

If so many believe that smiles

are only used as lures

let us challenge that by offering

smiles that ask nothing in return.

Not surprise, not a smile back,

not even acknowledgement,

not even non-aggression.

We can open our own outflow

as wide as it feels right.

If only a drop each time, so be it,

or a trickle, or a gush.

May whatever offered be offered freely

lest we again ask for something in return

and are thrown back into the pit of lack.

And drip by drip, I posit,

the waters of acceptance will rise.

Smile by smile, the ratio

of pure to lure will grow,

and slowly we will notice

that the dams are not all dry anymore.

Some will drip, some will trickle,

and some will flow like walking springs.

Then as each receives the waters

of simple acceptance

soon many will realize

they no longer walk amidst a desert

and they no longer need to hide

their half-empty bottles

from each other.

They can drink their fill amongst them

quench their thirst along their way

until their fear softens

and they willingly offer their own water

to others still dry behind their dams.

Then perhaps may we walk lighter

free of general mistrust

and with water and light abundant

we'll find newer ways to grow.