Nuts

I am becoming... dumber? I sure hope not. Please no.

After the intake of the famous substance, my reactions have been quite dissatisfying. Scary. Slow. The things I do - I do them in a weird way, I think differently. Slower? With less focus, certainly. I cannot type as well, and many skills or abilities that I before took for granted, now are not so easy to achieve.

I cannot beat Jerol at chess as easily as I did before. I now have a little more trouble figuring out what are all the consequences of a move I make (or at least the ones I was able to see before). Now I seem to have to go through each one of them, one at a time, as if doing serial processing instead of parallel like before. It's very weird, very scary. I hope to get out of this state soon, but I know that I am not out of it yet, not as long as I still have difficulty typing, or managing to focus to get some work done, or finding it hard to see the consequences of a chess move, or while I still often bump into with obstacles all around me instead of graciously avoiding them like before, or while I still feel this tingling sensation on my face, head, stomach, arms, hands.

I really wish this effect would go away. It is awful to live, feel like this. I know that my thought processes are altered, but I know that I am understanding that very concept with altered thought processes, and as such, they are not necessarily compatible with my previous concept of the world, and as such, I do not have any guarantee that any of it makes sense. Please, please, God, Myself, Universe, help me get out of this state. I will get away from the substance, and be very healthy indeed for a longer period of time than I was exposed to the substance, but please, I would like to go back to my previous states of mind. My current one is almost intolerable, and I constantly feel a nauseous feeling down my throat. Even now I feel like I should vomit. Gotta go...

Wow, now I feel sick. I just tried to vomit but I couldn't (I guess because I don't have that much material inside my stomach). In any case, it feels awful. I want to remove all these toxins from my body, cleanse it up again, make it healthy. Please, please, I want to get better. To focus. To be myself again. I will eat healthily, exercise, and avoid exposure to the substance again. But I want to get better. BETTER!! RECOVER :D. Recover. Yes.