Saturday, April 29, 2023

Woman

 

What is the feeling, woman?
when a man catches your scent?
Is it the pleasure of recognition,
or the fear of unclean intent?

Does it feel like unwanted burden
that you meet with disdain?
Or does it fill up your channels
with what you yearn to contain?

Is it both, or is it neither?
Is it pleasure? Is it pain?
Is it tickles in your belly,
or just a sense you can't explain?

Does it come all of a sudden
even if you had no clue
that you would become the target
that someone else pursues?

Just which piece of you is that senses
that unseen yet real sign?
Your nose, your ears, your heart, your shoulders?
Your sex, your eyes, a buzzing spine?

Tuesday, April 25, 2023

The Sea

 


I live in the sea.
There is no true need
to get a hold on that wave or
keep my grip on this one.
To catch that one current or to stay in the still.

To need to prefer
the still or the turbulence
the high or the low
the dark or the light.

I live in the sea.
The waters that sway
that shove and that drag
are the same that are me.

Monday, April 24, 2023

Our role as Humans

Our role as humans is not merely one of survival and acquisition of safety and pleasure. Life is indeed a game, but it is a game with a purpose: to experience all the pleasures and displeasures that emerge in this world and through our bodies, and to transmute them all through love. And for those who are so inclined, the purpose extends to perfusing the light of awareness and consciousness, via the spark and flow of understanding, throughout the whole of planetary, external and internal space. To light the way into the neglected or unexplored corridors of reality, so that all of us, and all manifestations of life may fear naught, and can learn, grow, and flow, one by one and together, into the fullness of their essence and their being.



Persons

See into the eyes of that repulsive person
he whose presence repels
    your eyes
    your attention
    your care
and stay. Feel the repulsion and stay.

The disgust or the fear or the hatred or the shame
or the guilt or the pride or the disdain. Feel it.
And stay.

Feel it. Know it.
Let yourself not yet again slip into distraction.
    Or excuse.
    Or rush.
...
...
Stay.
...
...
...
...
Breathe.
...
...
...
Feel, breathe.
...
...
Do you notice the repulsion is yours and not theirs?
For we feel only what is ours.
That makes it ours.


Notice his presence. Notice his intent.
Do you understand it? Do you know its why?

Can you trace their behaviors both triggering and plain,
to causes behind them that bloomed into them?

See truly their motives. Understand their cause.
Imagine your own self enveloped in his world.

Not merely their bodies, not just what they seem...
Embody them deeper than the inside of their skin.

The ideas they grew with, the families that shaped
all that you see ugly, intended or by mistake.

Make note of their values, their context, their needs.
Realize that they also carry pain, fears, and grief.

Feel into their context. Transfer to their shoes.
And see if their causes become clearer to you.

Can you feel, deep in them, there is nothing but life?
the same life that moves you, through your own lows and highs?

See the light in your brother is the same as in you,
Feel the layers of different as just screens between the two.

And once this connection is felt, clear and true,
No more will you focus on the massed illusion
that we are rivals, that we must fight and compete,
for our outcome is groupal - only thus are we complete.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Look into the eyes of your person of attraction,
him with whom you so much desire interaction.
On him whose attained life you ardently wish,
next to whom your own image is a meager, sad dish.

Look at him straight, and see him directly.
Let not doubt nor shame turn your eyes away.

Continue your staring. What is it you feel?
Is it stuck admiration, or ambition concealed?

Do you see the human behind that big screen?
Can you feel his potential for both extraordinary and mean?

Consider the difference between him and you.
Don't jump to conclusions - think all the way through.

Does he have more money? Does she have more friends?
Is she more beloved? Does he set the trends?

Does he do what you wish, or have what you admire?
Is his life really everything you've ever desired?

Do you crave their attention? Is their love your dream?
Could they save your life from the dread it has been?

Glamour can be thick, but melts in the moment
it's met with the light that peeks behind the persona.

Notice his humanity. Consider his flesh.
Realize it's no more than an organized mesh.

What can be our difference if not what we have?
The bodies we carry, the stories we weave?

If we search truly and deeply, we'll know we are naught
but the same life growing out of different flower pots.





 

Tuesday, April 11, 2023

Self

From Self blooms
every single
Choice.

Continuous conscious
Choice
is supported by stable,
unwavering purpose.

Perception is bright and clear
as it follows continuous
Choice.

Fears signal the consciousness
to veer into another direction,
like the pull of a bridle
on a horse's mouth.

A weak purpose or an untrained mind
are swayed by fear, and
it loses traction in its continuity.
Distraction ensues.

A strong Purpose and a
trained mind recognise
all signals simultaneously,
consider them synthetically,
and therefrom emits the
thread of conscious Choice
which weaves into the
continuous stream.

Absolute Trust in Self is
necessary to train the mind
thus.

The common mind is littered
with expectations, shoulds, and
musts, which trigger at any one
of the innumerable fears it has
gathered in the world and in
society. They are like mother's
breasts which will appease any
of the crying fears, which will
"keep it safe".

Common attitudes to
encountering a fear are:
  • Yield
  • Ignore
  • Rebel and override
All these are reactions that
avoid the discomfort produced by
the fear. All these interrupt
continuous consciousness.

To maintain continuity, One
must consciously:
  • Notice
  • Recognise
  • Feel
  • Consider
  • Integrate
the fear, its request, its discomfort,
into One's continuous Stream
of conscious Purpose, Perception, and Choice.

Gradually the sharp
edges and rough corners of
the mind, which cause
friction and produce fear,
become smooth with the water
of wholesome, conscious feeling.

And gradually its full expanse
and substance fuses into the
body, allowing full and
uninterrupted expression and
manifestation of the mind, and
eventually the soul.

Common needs that cause fear are:
  • Need to prove
  • Need to explain
  • Need to respond
  • Need to adjust to a past, now crystallised, purpose.
  • Need to be recognised.
  • Need to appease the body.
  • Need to appease the emotions.
  • Need of correctness.
Self does not need.
Self Is.

Any need is the pressure
differential between one
reservoir and another.

From here to there.
From there to here.
Desire of flow...

And we can train to imbue our
flows with consciousness so
they follow our positive will,
instead of negatively yielding
to external forces.

 




Saturday, April 8, 2023

Unwillingness

The unwillingness to change
The inflexibility of people to do something else
To let go of their image, their safety, their roles,
Rigidizes the whole of society
Enormous and brittle,
Unbending to the waves of change.

Until the waves surpass the limit
Of how much we can ignore,
And once a large block is broken,
The rest follow galore.

Understanding

the spark of understanding
arcs between
the consciousness and the object
like the flash of an electrical arc
like the meeting of a stream with the lake
like the moment the lightning finds earth
like when spontaneous romance blooms
and they both know they are welcome
into each other to flow.

like when two disconnected jigsaw puzzle sections
find each other with a newly-clasped link.

satisfaction of the lover
when it meets its beloved.
satisfaction at the meeting
of the seeker with the sought.

understanding is an outreach of consciousness
when it finds what was dark just before.
tis the lighting of sections we perceive
but into which we have not yet come to grow.

like the moment one comes upon sonder,
like an action yields the satisfaction of the will.

tis the quenching of what was once dry earth
with the waters of flow that we wield.

understanding joins the unknown with the knowledge
to grow a fuller tree of light.
In knowledge and causal connections
the curious mind finds delight.

Tis the growth of the light we encompass
as we grope our way through the caves
of the vast reality we inhabit
which we unknowingly seek to transcend.

led by forces beyond what is fathomed
we cave dwellers scurry along the tree.
On its branches of lightness and darkness
lighting and mapping our way through.

thus the finding of something that's novel,
a new passageway, corner, or loop,
brings our mapped world to further expansion
and expands who we ourselves are too.

that peak moment of association
the literal electrical spark
carries with it a sizeable current
that can help us the branch better carve.

at first the connection may be a thin strand
that we still barely only perceive,
but the moment one feels it is in there,
it has forever altered what we believe.

this first energy helps to incite us
to carve out the rest of the shape
that lies between the known and the new
so the channel can be made wider
a wider channel
a more effective channel

thus the honeymoon phase of the lovers
is the electric current that peaks upon arc
is that feeling of pure satisfaction
one feels upon attaining reward.

it's a signal that here is true expansion
and here we can learn something new
so allow the flow to move through here
and keep looking in your lighted pursuit.

its signal is what fuels the true hedonist
purely guided by inner delight
for he lets his own inner compass guide him
and regards outer signals false bait.

Tis important, because pleasures and satisfactions have levels
and the path of the light that we walk on
seeks ultimately the subtle and high.
And though dense habit and momentum
can distract us away,
true inner delight
observed with attention
is always true guide.

For the lower delights, they are denser
And can help us to build up low steps
Of reliance, fulfillment, and satisfaction
Upon which we then climb to feel
what's beyond.

Like the candy, which was the child's heaven,
Later holds no more lure for the youth
Thus the glamour that baits the consumer
Becomes gaudy, useless, and crude.

And level by level, by climbing,
Building platforms with attention and skill,
We learn to trust ourselves in the denser
And atop them, to smell and know subtler thrill.

We scale up the pyramid of Maslow
Not to hoard what its mass contains,
But to absorb the truths from each level
Into the trusting self that remains.

Yet to do so one must feel the inkling
That true value is beyond what is known
For among the obvious there's just combinatorics
A closed set: measured, tasted, and worn.

Like our lungs trust there is enough oxygen
As we travel and toil in our days
So our subtler bodies can find comfort
That their vehicles know how to take care.
One tries and trains the bodies, and develops the skill
So they listen and thrive through their own self will.

Once one trusts then comes freedom
To attentively and thoroughly explore
For without fears to rush and distract one
The frictionful, narrow, dark hallways
Open up to reveal full worlds.
Like scuba divers, unfazed by the waters,
Can inquire into the wonders and fractals
Of colorful coral reef life.

The closing of eyelids allow us
To blot out the glittery dense.
While inward, via patient observation,
the light grows slowly intense.

Delight is the name of the feeling
When the darkness is found by the light.

Secrets

Let shame melt
let her breathe
let her relax
feel her soften
let her soften those tight knuckles
that clutch so tightly
the curtains of secret.

feel her fear
and listen to her words
for her energy is true
even when her time is due.

Consider her fear
in manner true and clear
and honestly inquire, my dear,

how tragic would it be
if others would fully see
what you continue to hold inside.

Your wordless pain
Your discarded love
Your unrighted wrongs.
Your truth.

What would then transpire, my dear,
in this world your hurt still fears?
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Consider.
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Feel.
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F'real.

Only then will dutiful shame yield
to your conscious appeal.

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.

And if your secret be let out
from its dark hidden cave,
may you give it ease.
May it drain in peace
as whatever helps you release.

An inner pop and a squeeze,
a gasp, a moan, and a sob
a whine, rising tears, a bawl.
Allow completely that pain to be told
with whichever language it holds.

And if its chamber was kept at high pressure,
paining in silence, compressed to the core,
that first pop will likely be prone to explode.
That may be its true language
for its truth to be told.

When such is the outcome, and such it may cause,
take care that its "violence" not violate those
that act as your witness, or that stumbled upon
your high-pressure chamber unwitting thereof.

Cognize that the cause of much pain is but harm
Intended or not, it bleeds and causes alarm.
Our bodies feel hurt and protect it with fear,
and that's just what became your chamber, my dear.

So do not harm others with your sudden grenade,
keep mind that their hurt provides you no gain.
Direct your expression, whatever you resent,
to the infinite space into which you can vent.

Let anger, if present, distort not into blame,
that sharp-pointed arrow intended to shame.
Unmindful reactions may spit the ferment,
but full cleansing requires a conscious intent.

Be true and be bold, you need nothing hold,
the secrets you keep in require constant toll.
But whether you quiet it, or gift it a voice,
I pray that it be but your own conscious choice.

Shop Ladies

See the shop ladies
and men.
See their image, then see them again.

Do you see their contractual tether,
and that flesh that helps you obtain what you seek?

Do you see that their role of the steward
is one distinct from their journey as human?
Do you feel the meaning behind their quick smile?
What do they care for, when away from their aisles?

How did they get there, and how do they leave?
Whether they have lovers, children, illness or need?
There is there much substance, when one wills to perceive.

And when we feel substance of the human soul
in any around us we choose to behold,
the channels through AllUs come alive with our light,
and Life can breathe through Us in glorious delight.

Observe

Care is the quality
that accompanies the perceptions
of the true observer.

To care for what is observed
as one cares for oneself.
Not in the sense of "taking care" of it,
not in the sense of bending one's loyalty towards it.

Care in the sense of feeling it
with the same attention, with the same *care*
as one perceives oneself.

When each outer shape evokes an inner shape
when each texture provokes a sensation
when each relation lights up connections in the mind.
That care
which sprouts curiosity at each turn,
spontaneous multidimensionality,
and primal wonder of the Thing that Is.

To see through into essence,
the Seen is seen
not as a problem to solve,
not as an obstacle to overcome,
not as a prize to attain,

but as a self-worthy Is
which one strives to comprehend
into the domain of our Self.

Friday, April 7, 2023

Insuficiencia

Insuficiencia sexual
es lo que temo.
Ese miedo es el que surge
desde el fondo de mi centro sacral
justo al lado derecho de mi vejiga
miedo que mi oferta de amor hacia ella
particularmente, de amor sexual
no sea suficiente para ella.

La posibilidad le aterra
lo ansia
y siente una aspiración vaga
de hacerlo "mejor"
sin saber cuáles pasos tomar para ello.

Porque mi ser quiere amar.
amar-la
en todos los niveles
en lo físico, social, casual, emocional, mental, espiritual.
En el día a día, en...
...

Hmmm....
Lo que busca es satisfacer.
Satisfacer-La.
Por... qué....??????????
...

Busca hacerla sentir bien.
Porque cree que hacerla sentir bien
es la manera de ser... suficiente.
De ser valioso.
Es su prueba, su distinción.
Si puede hacerlo, es bueno.
Si no, no lo es.
Si no, fracasa...
y el prospecto del mundo se torna gris, fallado,
miserable, horrendo.

Es sólo esta perspectiva
la que retiene este miedo
así - vivo, agudo y punzante.
Así.... pareciendo ley inmutable
en mi ser masculino.
Lo torna frágil, ansioso,
inseguro, temeroso,
profundo en mi interior.

"Oh no. ¿Puede ser que yo sea insuficiente?
¿Puede que mi persona sea desdeñada,
rechazada, ridiculizada, abandonada,
porque no fui suficiente? ¿Puede que ella me abandone
en este mundo? Y así ser yo incompleto,
objeto de burla,
inredimible?"

Así siente la ansiedad.
Una creencia antigua en mi cuerpo,
cristal áspero y punzante
cercano a mi vejiga
que pulla y raspa cuando se activa
mi rol de compañero sexual.

Quiere expresión, tal vez.
Pero no se suelta porque no se atreve a exponer
esta vergüenza perenne que no necesita evidencia
para seguir defendiendo su secreto solemne
de que este miedo vive en mí.


----------------------------------------------------------

And why do we hide fears?
Because they indicate weakness,
and may provide evidence for an other
to prey on us.

Sunday, April 2, 2023

Laughter

Laughter bubbles
Up

The effervescence of surprise
The gas released as the boundary of our expectations
Meets something outside.

At first touch it triggers warning
Alert in case of risk
And if it's found to contain danger
Fear is excreted to resist.

But if it's found to be innocuous
A not-unpleasant surprise,
The space of expectations allows entry
To this instance before unknown.

This emochemical integration
Entails emochemical reaction
And the side products are gases
That rise and laugh.



Emergent

The definitions of
what is good and what is bad
shared by the human race,
the values we take from granted:

that help is good
and violence is bad
and plenty is good
and stupid is bad,

they are factors emergent.
But they are assumed to be absolute
because among the aeons they have taken
to distill out of the countless
efforts, trials, failures, celebrations, and strifes
of the evolutionary pilgrimage,

our historical memory is but a static dot
within the long, long unfolding of
our good and our bad.

Free

But when the mind glimpses the infinite Oneness

Then something brushes with it and distracts it
From the absolute contemplation
The mind picks itself back up
Straightens his glasses, makes sense of what's going on
Places himself in reference again.
The room he's in, the time of day, his pendings and to-do's
To come back into his framework
Of what to do and how and when.
Of goods and bads.

But none is left.
In the infinite Oneness, the categories and boundaries
Meld into one another
And there is no other to turn to
No reference to compare against
No wall to define the shoulds
No floor to reassure our trembling insecurities.
No other.
Just the One uncertain
Aggregate
Amoral
Unbounded
Eternal
Singular
US
That explores Itself
With infinite hands
Through infinite eyes
Testing and trying and feeling
The Is and the Can and the Want.

And every one of its myriad
Boundless reflections
Inherits all Its qualities divine
In the germ of its being
Waiting to sprout
Yearning to grow
All the while learning
The Truth at our Core:
We are One and we are Free.

..

No guardrails to hold us back from the rapids and the chasms
None but those we build
None but those we hold
None but those we ARE,
Through the power of our core.

For we are Free.

Free to stay
Within the lines we ourselves draw.

Free to fall
Into the space unheld,
unknown, unexplored.

Free to define
The paths and the walls
the fences and guardrails
beyond which not to go.

Free to confine
The beauty we feel
The actions we take.

Free to refine
The structures we worship
Our vision and our mind.

Free to compare
The Here and the there.
The flow and the square.

Free to refuse
What we win and what we lose.

Free to allow



Regret

Regret can only be of service
if it offers something to learn.
Otherwise tis but ballast that weighs down
every thought, choice, connection, and step.

It can be fully digested;
to do so one looks it in the eye,
and feeling its weight, pain, and ugly,
accept it is just what I am.