I continued to gasp my breath in and to drop my exhale all through the day. My body, my skin, my plexus tingled with the high waves, they felt nourished, and my defiant felt remembered, and alive. It felt expressed as my breath remained strong and loud among the gazes of the onlookers and of my own inner judge.
We began our session seated at a table that held two glasses with water. I told her I had come because she had seen my defiant. She had felt it, and told me she sensed a past life energy in it. From ancient, primitive rituals of death, on an island society like Papua New Guinea. As my skeptic self turned on, I recalled to body a recent wisdom: deep dropping exhales clear the mind. And the deep inbreath gifted me energy.
As she asked me to peer into my defiant for insights about my past lives, tremors and tears came quickly. My defiant did not feel ancient, as from an inexistent memory. It felt closer, pained and exacerbated within this lifetime. She then turned her focus onto my ancestors, and told me stories of their pains.
She felt a man captured, tortured. She felt a woman repressed by her family and then by her husband, perhaps an arranged marriage, and I felt my throat close up in fear. Domestic abuse likely. Most every statement she spoke was chorused by a pain, a blockage, a growl within me. My gasping breath encouraged my emotions to flow through, and the energy it gathered held the focus and the courage to continue true. I breathed fully through cries and snarls and song of redeeming lament. My defiant would not allow one pain to remain unfelt. He was here.
On the massage table, she covered me with a soft, warm blanket, and I felt safe. She touched my ancestor points, somewhere on my calf and the sole of my foot, and pressed them steadily. She moved across spots on my body like a sparse rain. My breath continued in deep knowing gasps, intent in flushing the emotions still fresh. In quieting mind. In love.
Energy within grew like a rising vibration, green waves of tingling growing, moving in my body. Energy enough to calm the doer, to be felt like a symphony. My mind no longer led. It stayed, and observed as my limp body was treated by this friend. I was a delighted observer, enclosed in my buzzing and flowing cocoon.
"I see a chest of gold", she said as she moved her hands across my chest. "They have given you smarts to make your way in this world, and they have given you this gift to enjoy the wealth that they did not have."
"There is also a feather. This shows the sensitivity you have to other worlds, how you can be connected to them. These are gifts that they give you to use in your lifetime."
"I will give you five to ten minutes for the energy to flow." She left the room, and I remained, feeling the flowing tingles in my body. The gasping breath was gone, replaced by the body's gentle autonomous cycle. Emotions were calm, and thoughts were scarce.
"I'm going to give you an exercise. You're going to look at yourself in the mirror, and send love to yourself."
"They want you to be happy", she said. "You've been suffering from past ties for a long time now, and they want you to go out and enjoy Life".
We began our session seated at a table that held two glasses with water. I told her I had come because she had seen my defiant. She had felt it, and told me she sensed a past life energy in it. From ancient, primitive rituals of death, on an island society like Papua New Guinea. As my skeptic self turned on, I recalled to body a recent wisdom: deep dropping exhales clear the mind. And the deep inbreath gifted me energy.
As she asked me to peer into my defiant for insights about my past lives, tremors and tears came quickly. My defiant did not feel ancient, as from an inexistent memory. It felt closer, pained and exacerbated within this lifetime. She then turned her focus onto my ancestors, and told me stories of their pains.
She felt a man captured, tortured. She felt a woman repressed by her family and then by her husband, perhaps an arranged marriage, and I felt my throat close up in fear. Domestic abuse likely. Most every statement she spoke was chorused by a pain, a blockage, a growl within me. My gasping breath encouraged my emotions to flow through, and the energy it gathered held the focus and the courage to continue true. I breathed fully through cries and snarls and song of redeeming lament. My defiant would not allow one pain to remain unfelt. He was here.
On the massage table, she covered me with a soft, warm blanket, and I felt safe. She touched my ancestor points, somewhere on my calf and the sole of my foot, and pressed them steadily. She moved across spots on my body like a sparse rain. My breath continued in deep knowing gasps, intent in flushing the emotions still fresh. In quieting mind. In love.
Energy within grew like a rising vibration, green waves of tingling growing, moving in my body. Energy enough to calm the doer, to be felt like a symphony. My mind no longer led. It stayed, and observed as my limp body was treated by this friend. I was a delighted observer, enclosed in my buzzing and flowing cocoon.
"I see a chest of gold", she said as she moved her hands across my chest. "They have given you smarts to make your way in this world, and they have given you this gift to enjoy the wealth that they did not have."
"There is also a feather. This shows the sensitivity you have to other worlds, how you can be connected to them. These are gifts that they give you to use in your lifetime."
"I will give you five to ten minutes for the energy to flow." She left the room, and I remained, feeling the flowing tingles in my body. The gasping breath was gone, replaced by the body's gentle autonomous cycle. Emotions were calm, and thoughts were scarce.
"I'm going to give you an exercise. You're going to look at yourself in the mirror, and send love to yourself."
"They want you to be happy", she said. "You've been suffering from past ties for a long time now, and they want you to go out and enjoy Life".
No comments:
Post a Comment