Five days and eight classes into my yoga venture, I stand at a point of approval. I enjoy this practice very much. Even though the yoga studio is heated up to 100F, and as Franziska mentioned this is not the usual environment we move in, the sensations and side-effects I perceive are all positive. I just came back from two afternoon classes directed by the same instructor, Michelle. She likes to proceed into Warrior position often, and to stay there long. As with many other positions, I feel getting there is such a great stretching exercise, then staying there tests the body's capacity to endure weight and keep balance. And the way we breathe in and out deeply, in sync with our body movements - it feels so attuning. I am so often unaware of my breath's rhythm, intensity, evenness, or even presence - and feeling such primal awareness in the body sends sweet energy through my neck and spine, down my arms, sometimes focus down to my fingertips, down my legs, up my face between my eyes. It feels positively holistic in the least, and with potential for deep spirituality.
So today at Michelle's class, I bent my front knee low, straightened my right leg to the back, and stretched out my arms back and front to keep the Warrior position #2. We were there for, well, longer than my legs were comfortable with, and I attempted to sink my hips down deeper with every exhalation. I find that one detail in Yoga fairly fascinating. The fact that one has set a position one believes is extreme and is pushing against, but it only takes an intentional breath, a meaningful exhalation, to take one's body past one's previous limits. It seems extraordinary. One pushes down as much as possible, then inhales deeply and with purpose, then allows oneself to relax while exhaling, and the joints that seemed to be "fully stretched" move through further by up to, well... a lot. Quite noticeably, since the sensation in the leg or the arm or the back or the shoulder or the neck changes to one further stretched. Just with one breath. And each one manages to get through more, and more, and more... it's amazing. In practice, some positions we work on (like the Warrior position #2) tire my leg and hip muscles a little bit faster the deeper I sink, so they sometimes shake and shake, and the feeling of intense tiredness (not precisely pain, but certainly a feeling the body asks not to feel) in the muscles have sometimes caused me to either lose my balance, or desist.
I don't like desisting though - I enjoy completing the exercises as best as I can, and I feel that a main attribute I train within my Yoga practice is my intention - my determination to do what I have set out to do with my full potential, despite the discomfort, despite my own second thoughts, despite the promised relief that desisting would provide... Intention is a powerful force, and training it seems worthwhile indeed. And not only to get stretchier, stronger muscles and tendons, a more balanced body, a cleaner complexion (which I imagine sweating regularly provides), post-session endorphin rushes, a calmer attitude in general, and an enhanced awareness of one's body and breath, of their parts and their essence and their rhythm and flow. But to learn to direct our intention, our focus, the very essence of our consciousness, towards the purposes of our lives in general. I believe and hold that unfocused strength is futile in this Life, and I see so many of us live with little true purpose day-to-day. I see Yoga as a way to train Intention, sometimes also called Willpower. And I now see that as its most valuable benefit by far.
So anyway, back to Michelle's class. In the first class I felt I followed the exercises with good accuracy, and my muscles felt quite active afterwards. I found her sessions to encourage synchronization between breath and movement the most so far, as she continually mentions whether we should inhale or exhale, almost at every movement. When we hold a position, she emphasizes that we breathe in and out, and that we use our breathing to sink deeper or stretch further or push higher. I enjoyed that - I found it most helpful to validate the importance I gave to breathing, to be reminded of it as my sore muscles shook like an old motorcycle, and then by doing it, to realize that deep and meaningful breathing actually goes a long way to relax my muscles, to make the stretching more tolerable (despite the increased soreness), and to be more aware of my body's state. She often set us on Warrior position #2, which I designate a "holding" position, and left us there longer than I've been used to. The result was increased soreness, but, again, a stronger emphasis on the power of our breath, which also led to good training of Intention. Most enjoyable.
I decided to stay for Michelle's second class, despite my sore muscles, because it was labeled as "Basics". I thought it would be useful to learn the core movements at a slower pace, since so far I have only attended "Levels 1&2" and "Power Yoga" classes, and I've had to only infer the details of many positions, many of whose names I'm not even sure of, and that I recognize only by their position in a common sequence or by looking at what everyone else is doing. As it happened, "Basics" was not that basic. Body positions were not described any more in detail than in "Levels 1&2" classes - perhaps only slightly slower, but I learned little technical detail from it. What I did get was what felt like a full-intensity class, only about 30% shorter, with which spare time I lay on my mat and rested my leg muscles, which I could not sustain at the Warrior position #2 for the amount of time Michelle instructed. When I attempted to hold the position and sink my hips, my legs shook and shook, earthquake-like, and even breathing in as deeply as I managed was not able to counter the discomfort and tiredness, which I closely attribute to the preceding class. Still, I hold the belief that I produced my body's almost best possible performance, just at the threshold of enduring pain artificially (blocking it out instead of relaxing), and tightening the muscles for dear life. I came back up as much as I managed, but not much later Michelle instructed us to go back to sitting, and to more stable positions like high plank and cobra and stretching hands up to the sky and diving down like a swan with the head looking up until the very bottom. Those were ok, but at the end of the class, even the baby-like leg holds were a bit too uncomfortable sometimes. We did a lot of resting in the end, and rest I did. Even after the final "Namaste", I just lay on my mat and felt my body buzz with either excessive accumulated energy, an endorphin rush, or dehydration. Andrea was right beside me, by the way, and she was also resting after the session, catching her breath. That session was less "Basics" than I thought it'd be.
I felt different when I got up from my mat. Dizzy, buzzing, and light-headed. My body tingled all over with what I felt as energy. I disinfected my mat, put the stuff back in its place, and when I stepped out onto the tiny Yoga lobby with Andrea, a conversation developed:
So today at Michelle's class, I bent my front knee low, straightened my right leg to the back, and stretched out my arms back and front to keep the Warrior position #2. We were there for, well, longer than my legs were comfortable with, and I attempted to sink my hips down deeper with every exhalation. I find that one detail in Yoga fairly fascinating. The fact that one has set a position one believes is extreme and is pushing against, but it only takes an intentional breath, a meaningful exhalation, to take one's body past one's previous limits. It seems extraordinary. One pushes down as much as possible, then inhales deeply and with purpose, then allows oneself to relax while exhaling, and the joints that seemed to be "fully stretched" move through further by up to, well... a lot. Quite noticeably, since the sensation in the leg or the arm or the back or the shoulder or the neck changes to one further stretched. Just with one breath. And each one manages to get through more, and more, and more... it's amazing. In practice, some positions we work on (like the Warrior position #2) tire my leg and hip muscles a little bit faster the deeper I sink, so they sometimes shake and shake, and the feeling of intense tiredness (not precisely pain, but certainly a feeling the body asks not to feel) in the muscles have sometimes caused me to either lose my balance, or desist.
I don't like desisting though - I enjoy completing the exercises as best as I can, and I feel that a main attribute I train within my Yoga practice is my intention - my determination to do what I have set out to do with my full potential, despite the discomfort, despite my own second thoughts, despite the promised relief that desisting would provide... Intention is a powerful force, and training it seems worthwhile indeed. And not only to get stretchier, stronger muscles and tendons, a more balanced body, a cleaner complexion (which I imagine sweating regularly provides), post-session endorphin rushes, a calmer attitude in general, and an enhanced awareness of one's body and breath, of their parts and their essence and their rhythm and flow. But to learn to direct our intention, our focus, the very essence of our consciousness, towards the purposes of our lives in general. I believe and hold that unfocused strength is futile in this Life, and I see so many of us live with little true purpose day-to-day. I see Yoga as a way to train Intention, sometimes also called Willpower. And I now see that as its most valuable benefit by far.
So anyway, back to Michelle's class. In the first class I felt I followed the exercises with good accuracy, and my muscles felt quite active afterwards. I found her sessions to encourage synchronization between breath and movement the most so far, as she continually mentions whether we should inhale or exhale, almost at every movement. When we hold a position, she emphasizes that we breathe in and out, and that we use our breathing to sink deeper or stretch further or push higher. I enjoyed that - I found it most helpful to validate the importance I gave to breathing, to be reminded of it as my sore muscles shook like an old motorcycle, and then by doing it, to realize that deep and meaningful breathing actually goes a long way to relax my muscles, to make the stretching more tolerable (despite the increased soreness), and to be more aware of my body's state. She often set us on Warrior position #2, which I designate a "holding" position, and left us there longer than I've been used to. The result was increased soreness, but, again, a stronger emphasis on the power of our breath, which also led to good training of Intention. Most enjoyable.
I decided to stay for Michelle's second class, despite my sore muscles, because it was labeled as "Basics". I thought it would be useful to learn the core movements at a slower pace, since so far I have only attended "Levels 1&2" and "Power Yoga" classes, and I've had to only infer the details of many positions, many of whose names I'm not even sure of, and that I recognize only by their position in a common sequence or by looking at what everyone else is doing. As it happened, "Basics" was not that basic. Body positions were not described any more in detail than in "Levels 1&2" classes - perhaps only slightly slower, but I learned little technical detail from it. What I did get was what felt like a full-intensity class, only about 30% shorter, with which spare time I lay on my mat and rested my leg muscles, which I could not sustain at the Warrior position #2 for the amount of time Michelle instructed. When I attempted to hold the position and sink my hips, my legs shook and shook, earthquake-like, and even breathing in as deeply as I managed was not able to counter the discomfort and tiredness, which I closely attribute to the preceding class. Still, I hold the belief that I produced my body's almost best possible performance, just at the threshold of enduring pain artificially (blocking it out instead of relaxing), and tightening the muscles for dear life. I came back up as much as I managed, but not much later Michelle instructed us to go back to sitting, and to more stable positions like high plank and cobra and stretching hands up to the sky and diving down like a swan with the head looking up until the very bottom. Those were ok, but at the end of the class, even the baby-like leg holds were a bit too uncomfortable sometimes. We did a lot of resting in the end, and rest I did. Even after the final "Namaste", I just lay on my mat and felt my body buzz with either excessive accumulated energy, an endorphin rush, or dehydration. Andrea was right beside me, by the way, and she was also resting after the session, catching her breath. That session was less "Basics" than I thought it'd be.
I felt different when I got up from my mat. Dizzy, buzzing, and light-headed. My body tingled all over with what I felt as energy. I disinfected my mat, put the stuff back in its place, and when I stepped out onto the tiny Yoga lobby with Andrea, a conversation developed:
- Antonio: (Walking out of the yoga room a bit unsteadily) That was a great class, Michelle!
- Michelle: Thank you! I didn't know you were staying for both classes.
- Andrea: Do you have some water bottles he can drink? He didn't have any, and I think he's dehydrated.
- Michelle: Oh yes, sure! We have water bottles for a dollar.
- Blonde girl: Here, have this water (taking it out fo the fridge).
- Antonio: Thanks! I'm not sure if it's dehydration though - I just know I'm buzzing all over. (When I try to grab the water bottle, my fingers don't bend as easily as I expected them to). My fingers aren't moving that well.
- Blonde girl: You're on a yoga high!!
- Antonio: Heh, yes, it feels like it. I have all these thoughts in my head that I'd like to write down.
- Blonde girl: You should write them down when you get home!
- Antonio: I'm not sure I'll still have the feeling by then. Maybe there's a pen around here? Or I'll use my phone... oh wait! I didn't bring my phone... :-/
- Blonde girl: You can write it when you get back.
- Antonio: Yeah, I'll try that :) Say, right now, I think things like... (hanging sideways from the bathroom doorway with my left hand), "Balance comes the most when you're not looking for it".
- Blonde girl: You are so happy!
- Antonio: Yeah! I feel great... A little like I'm drugged.
- Blonde girl: Yeah, you're feeling all that energy! It's exciting...
- Antonio: Hey, what's your name?
- (Name presentations ensue, I tell her I'm from Guatemala, bla bla. Her name is Lindsey. She begins to massage my shoulders).
- Antonio: Thanks. That feels... OH! (and she reached spots on my shoulders that triggered both soreness and intense relief, that almost buckled my knees). Oh, that feels good! Can you go in deeper there?
- Lindsey: (Doesn't go deeper, decides to massage the sides of my shoulders, other places around.
- Antonio: Do you know how to massage?
- Lindsey: I'm learning Reiki.
- Antonio: Reiki! I had a friend in Guatemala who did that! That's awesome! So you're opening me up? ;)
- Lindsey: Yes!! You have all this energy, we should use it!
- Antonio: Oh, I agree! Thanks a lot!
- Lindsey: (Continues massaging around my shoulders). Think that there are roots coming out of your feet.
- Antonio: Ok. Should I bring them together?
- Lindsey: Yes. Imagine there are roots coming out of your feet, and they go into the ground. And deeper, into the mantle, deep into the earth...
- Antonio: Ok. (Looking at her directly in her eyes as she looked at me, so just to clarify:) Where should I be looking at?
- Lindsey: Just look at me.
- Antonio: OK!
- Lindsey: Think of your roots, going down into the earth, into the mantle, deeper, down into the core, and they go around the glowing ball of energy. And imagine that the energy goes up through your roots, up and up, and they reach your feet.
- (I stop looking at her and close my eyes).
- Lindsey: Imagine your feet filling up your energy, and reaching up to your ankles.. your knees.. your thighs.. your hips.. your abdomen, your arms, your chest, your back, up to your shoulders, your neck, your face, your head, and then it goes way up and connects with the sky. And feel that energy flow through you. Breathe the energy in and out, breathe it in from the Earth, breathe it out from the Sky. Breathe it in through your body, breathe it out again.
- (As I breathed in and out deeply and rhythmically, visualizing and feeling energy going up and down my body.
- Lindsey: Do you feel the energy?
- Antonio: Yessss...
The Reiki session was very focusing. I felt relaxed, aware, and energetic, all at the same time, after that. My fingers were buzzing with energy, and I said so. I felt simply present after that, just... there, aware. It felt really great. I thanked Lindsey a lot, then eventually left. I'm curious about how involved and capable she is about bodily-energetic matters.
And now, 3 hours later, I still feel calm. And look at that, I actually did come back home and wrote about the Yoga high and about my thoughts. They didn't come out in the form of small sayings, but I like them. Cool :)
So that's my impression of Yoga so far. 2 sessions Friday, one on Saturday, one on Sunday, one on Monday, 3 today. Feels niiice.
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