Justificar

Para qué justificar? Para qué justificar, ever??? Nunca... nunca se justifican las decisiones - ellas se toman de la mejor manera a cada momento. Sólo hacemos lo mejor en cada momento. No nos restrinjamos tanto por el miedo - actuemos, expandamos nuestras posibilidades, nuestros espacios, nuestros límites, que solo el miedo impone.

We do, we are, but we do not understand what we do or what we are. We do it and are it because it is our nature. And we are made to flow best with our nature. Just do it. Just be it. Fear not. Shame not.

DO what you WANT to DO. MAKE what you WANT to MAKE. CREATE what YOU want to CREATE.

Media has told us for so long what we should want. So many of us do not know whether we want anything... because we are bombarded with so many wants... that any of the wants that subtly arise naturally in us are sucked into one of the massively accepted larger clusters of wants that the media has imposed upon us: sex, beer, chips, money, sport-watching (YUCK), cars, luxuries, vacations on a beach, partying with your friends, or just plain coolness. There is SO MUCH MORE than that. Seek out what YOU WANT. Because NO ONE can tell you what you want. And when people let this happen to them, they adopt artificial, transferred, false wants, and their own wants are lost in the multitude, and they become afraid to not want the same as everyone else, and their own volition becomes weak and unfocused. DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN. Your own wants are so much more sublime, and real, and stronger, and you feel them MORE. SEIZE THEM! EXPERIENCE THEM!

I used to think that winning the lottery or making millions of dollars with stocks would ensure happiness for a while. No lottery or stocks have made me wealthy, but I've realized that this will not happen, simply because LIFE GOES ON. There is NO STOPPING this vital torrent of consciousness, action, momentum, emotions, perceptions, questioning, desires, possibilities, decisions, creation, decay, this mysterious dance of order and chaos. Which means no guarantees of any sort. You MAKE your Life with what you are given. And what you given is what you ARE. That's all you have. At EACH MOMENT. The rest is pure poppycock and false assumptions of forgotten legalese that people call property and are not even sure why, and just go with it because everyone else does it and it seems very convenient.

Don't build your property, build yourself. Don't trade your true wants for saving time or money. Saving time is a fucking lie. You don't save time by optimizing your hours and taking all the shortcuts to finishing your daily goals. You kill time by transforming a potentially enjoyable activity into a huddle of stress and competition, with either others or yourself. Take your time to enjoy each meal. To walk to class. Don't cut corners to save time - if you do, stroll through them, enjoying the fact that you can, and not because you need to or want to get a head start over anyone else. Don't compete, ENJOY. Life and happiness... they DON'T CARE who is first or who is last or who has the most fans. It cares about what YOU care about... because there is NOTHING ELSE that influences your capacity to be happy. So care about the important things.

Don't care about recognition, or glory, or money... unless you truly truly do. But you have to ask YOURSELF... to look INSIDE YOURSELF to know what it is! You can't go asking around other people for it!! You can't buy it!! You can't!!! Other people DO NOT KNOW WHAT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY!! Fucking God Him/Her/Itself doesn't know what will make YOU fucking happy!! YOU are the filter from the outside world to YOUR OWN HAPPINESS... and only you can design your filter. Discard others' opinions... it will free you. Discard calumny, status, power, wealth, opinions. Begin to notice health, the wonder of your own body, colors, sounds, birds, the leaves of Fall blowing around you, the play of squirrels in a nearby churchyard, the delicate patterns between nothing and subtle found in everyday fluids, like smoke and water. Begin to notice the effect you have on OTHER people... your capacity to influence them with something as simple as a smile, an unexpected conversation, an offer to help - begin to notice how much that makes you happier as well. Begin to notice the beauty of the transient, the miracle of play. Play around! Run! Sing! Dance! Paint! Climb! Do WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT whether you are being watched or not, because this world can FUCKING USE SOME RATTLING UP AND CHANGE AND IN-YOUR-FACE-CREATIVITY... because the artificial stupor of modern lives has proven very hard to break. Break from it yourself... and then you can start to wake others up. I'm trying to. Help me out.

Care about what you care - don't let your cares be swayed by the masses - make up your own. Even if it looks like others' - that doesn't matter. But have them be YOURS. You will never be as happy doing something else besides what you really want to do. And finding what you really want is about the HARDEST thing I've encountered in Life, because it requires decision, clear-mindedness, and lack of fear, especially to cut through the years of layers of artificially imposed paradigms, courtesy of the fucking others. But we are faced with decisions at EVERY MOMENT in Life, so fear not. It's always like that. Just do what YOU think/feel/know is best. And if you don't know it yet, figure it out. STRIVE to figure out. It's not going to be just neatly hidden away in a corner of your mind - the process is thorough, integral, and it takes effort, time, and mistakes. It REQUIRES effort. Strive to figure out your true wants by EXPERIENCING, following your curiosity, expanding your possibilities, seeking new encounters, the strange, defusing your fear of the unknown by walking right into it. And you find that the fear is replaced by a learning experience, and curiosity and a wanting to know more about it swells up in you. Or maybe not. But that's why you have to keep looking. Don't be stupid and walk into a hungry lion's cage or something, just because you're afraid of it, of course. Face what you WANT to do, and haven't done because you fear it. It's also important to recognize what you fear. Fear comes in many kinds, it's not just the kind of "it will hurt me". There is also the "it will shame me" kind, and that one, I believe, is vastly more debilitating and more stupid than the former, because shame can only be brought by yourself. If you let it filter into you from others' opinions, you are being a slave to their opinions. Free yourself from mass slavery. Free YOURSELF. Only you can do that. No parents, no brother, no sister, no teacher, no priest, no God. Just YOU.

And speaking of the both famous and infamous God, don't worry about whether you believe in him or not. Are you afraid that if you don't believe in him, then punishment will fall upon you? Then you're thinking of the wrong God. And that's not really believing, that's fearing an unknown deity someone told you existed and coerced you to believe through fear of eternal punishment or whatever. But if you're fine with that, cool, go ahead, keep "believing"/fearing, because it is really none of my business. It is NO ONE ELSE THE FUCK'S business if you don't want it to be. I mean it, with complete honesty. Just realize that your beliefs are NO ONE ELSE THE FUCK'S business, and decide yourself if the belief is truly yours or not. Whatever comes out of your own honest answer IS the correct choice. And that goes from every single decision in Life. The process, then, doesn't consist in WHICH choice you make. It consists in learning HOW to decide. And in my experience, the way to decide is: firmly, regretlessly, consciously, constantly, and joyfully. That is the most recent and best concept of Life I've come up with. One is a conscious entity that perceives sensations, produces thoughts and emotions, and all we can output to the world are our decisions. Every word, influence, action, silence, indifference, or inaction that comes from ourselves is predicated upon our own decisions. So let's decide in the best way we can.

About the God thing, I don't mean to critique specific groups of people, but I am quite frankly sick with the rampant misuse and abuse of appealing to divine invisible entities without true belief, another one of the sinks of attention pressed upon us through the media, passed on immemorably throughout the ages through tradition, and of people thinking these deities will solve our problems for us just because someone else told us that they would if we asked hard enough, even though no one knows what "enough" means. I believe this tradition has truth in it, but most of it sadly forgotten. Just remember - beliefs are FELT, not transmitted.

So live joyfully. Take ownership of your Life and of yourself. Realize your true feelings and desires. Dispel your fears. Trust your own decisions. Everything else will come naturally. That is my belief.