Back on the plane

Blogging everywhere is becoming a hobby for me. I'm currently on the plane back to austin, it's 16:08 central time, and I decided to.write (or more accurately, type) whatever my subconscious/expressive side wants to on my blackberry as an email to myself.

Life here in the us is definitely different than it was back in guatemala. As mgm said, the usa Is a much more mobile society. I've hardly been working in the us, and already I'm state-hopping. Back in guatemala, I remember flying was quite a singularity. "You're flying to where? Oh wow, how come? How did you come across this opportunity? Do u plan on coming back? Don't forget to write!" Here in the usa: "you're flying? Again??!? Where to? Oh ok... But I need you back thursday afternoon ON TIME to pick up the kids, I've got yoga class."

That's what I've perceived, at least. So now the plane is taxing on the austin airport, after landing somewhat sketchily, and after the plane assistant told me to turn my bb off. Darn her.

Well, now I forgot what did intend to type. Oh, the seatbelt sign turned off. Lucky me. I'll follow this up later...

I'm now on the airport shuttle going back to the parking lot. Actually, we're already in the parking lot, and they're dropping each person off at each different location.

I was talking to mgm (coincidence, huh?) And then I realized something while I was here in the bus. I'm looking at a couple of business-dressed, important-looking people, and many other people dressed in their own way that seems like it could portray a certain stereotype... I realized that society works as a theatre play. Each person acts out a different role, plays it out, does his/her part, but really, most people are just actors. They take up a part, they learn it, they practice it, and they get good at it. And that's what they end up doing. Role-playing is a favorite of the current human race.

It sucks not to be able to type fast. It's harder to say everything I mean to.

Anyway, now I'm in elaine's car's backseat. Our travel bags are all around me, and I'm looking at some serious traffic going home. In fact, jerry just said "this is horrible". Oh, I forgot to er dir vorstellen. Jerry, this is my blog audience. Blog audience, this is jerry, an asian coworker at reddwerks with whom I had been having some technical incomformities about the design of the workflow for the rf application several weeks ago. Anyway...

I wonder what I'm going to do when I reach the apartment. My bro's not here, I have no car... Maybe find someone to go partying downtown with? Home alone! Hehe if I had friends of mine around, I'd invite them over.

What to do alone in austin without a car? Maybe I'll go to the gym. I had thought of thinking and realizing my inner self, too. It's quiet and solitary in the apartment, so it's perfectly doable. I'll tell later. (I was going to say "time will tell", but that sounded too fate-dependent. I will tell)

So I'm back in the austin reddwerks office now! Not my final desination today (not a pun to the movie), but it's a good rest stop. There's some snacks right in front of me, and I can munch a little while elaine and andrea talk about our experience at fresno and share some gossip. I'm sure there'll be something me-related. Elaine knows I got to like one of the pickers at the acility, and that really sounds like a fact worth gossiping around.
Ok, I'll munch on something munchable now.

Finished munching, went to the bathroom, on to see how elaine's gossip is coming along.

And back inside elaine's car again. She's speaking to her bf on the phone while driving, talking about what to get for dinner.

So a little while ago I began thinking about my life again. You know, the broad perspective of purpose, existence, and stuff like that. About my life specifically, I think the following:

I was given a privileged life. I was born into a comfortable home, good-willing, well-educated parents, and a large family. My father taught me about sciences, and that made it easy for me to grasp its concepts and do well in school. I had good grades, but that made them the focus of my life for me, which also hindered my social life by my own doing. I felt proud, superior, special when I obtained better grades than the rest without much effort. I learned to fake humility, thus avoiding reprimands over excessive pride, and at the same time, allowing for other people's admiration of my "oh-so-very-desirable qualities". And that went on for a while.

But faking stuff does not help one's social side. Friends are made by sharing experiences, helping each other, truly, sincerely offering one to each other. Bonding requires needing each other. But on the contrary, I trained myself to be independent. I rarely ever let myself truly need someone else. Like always holding up a worn out shield, I always hid my pride and my fear of disapproval by faking "good", "desirable" qualities and a certain eagerness to please. And now, years later, I realize the foolishness of my acts.

Well, back at the apartment now. I wonder if marcos left stuff to eat. There's still some eggs, a munched-on hamburger, cheese, vanilla silk (soy milk), apple cider... Yep, I'll survive. Good 4 me.

Ok, time for me to do stuff. Blog is over for now, so good night.