child

A child grows itself. It seeks and takes in what it feels it lacks, the objects of nd through countless unmapped inner processes, its body, and all its other parts develop larger, abler, resistant and skilled in the context of its life, via a continuous exchange of information with the world that surrounds it.

Its body grows with matter as its mind grows with concepts, information, and ideas. The body seeks nourishment via hunger and thirst as the mind seeks information via curiosity. With both, the child initiates his own search. With both, the child knows what draws him to help him grow, and it is then that he becomes receptive to grow in the direction for whatever he seeks, whether he is conscious of it or not.

This self-centeredness of grows does not, however, preclude care and guidance from others in the world. Neither of us could have arrived here without intensive attention and nourishment from our parents or other caretakers, and they also prevented many of us from dangers around us, altogether in physical, emotional, and social contexts, among others. That is to say, the inner drive and search that comes from within the child is not sufficient to lead a full life, as receiving care and guidance from the world is an integral part of human experience.

Nevertheless, I intuit that the child's primary guidance comes from within. It is the child's body which best knows what it needs to function properly, and it is the child's mind which best knows which ideas within him are aching to grow, and which knows which knowledge is he most eager for, most receptive to absorb. And as each of us children grows abler, more knowing and more confident, the intensity and the frequency of the guidance we receive lessens, allowing our choice and our trust to grow themselves too.

As such, I see a parent's role as a guide to be secondary to the child's. Atop the essential nourishment of all kinds and protection from hidden dangers, the parent's role is meager and ought not to override the child's unnecessarily. A parent or caretaker holds jurisdiction and authority over her household and family, naturally, and overrides are often crucial, such as when she knows the child's search will led him into needless harm. Or if the child's direction becomes aimless, his actions idle, or his spirit turns dim, a parent's forceful spurring may set him again on a useful path in life.

But if the parent turns overbearing, and restrictive in her ways, and forcefully pushes the child on a path, while listening more to her own fears and beliefs than to the child's guidance, she may unknowingly block a piece of the child that aches to grow, or pull out an aspect in him that was not yet ready to bloom.

Life is messy, however, and adhering always to the "correct" course of action, both for the parent and for the child, is nigh an impossible task. The monumental task of growing, and nourishing, a child, all the while paying attention to his needs and his drive, to his unique characteristics, all the while gradually releasing control and restrictions from the child precisely as he no longer benefits from them, is, I imagine, arduous, draining, often thankless, and long, sometimes lifelong. The task strikes me in intricacy and delicacy, not unlike the process of cell mitosis, which to this day baffles even the most dedicated and passionate researches in the biomolecular field.

I repeat,: Life is messy, and we children will break often as we grow and live. We will hurt, we will get lost and feel lost, and encounter countless vicissitudes, and it will feel like we lead a life far, far from the "ideal" life we feel we were "meant" to live. Nevertheless, I feel that it is the child's inner guidance *stronger* as he develops and grows, that best leads him onto what will best enable him to grow with health, fullness, and grace.