notice

I notice my behavior

when I come upon a person

along my way

and I have no particular interest in this person

I don't know them, our direct paths do not interact

there is a force

that pulls on my neck

and on my eyes

to look away

sometimes I feel a little curious

what is this person like?

What are her legs shaped like?

what's behind his hat?

what's that color design on her shoes?
what's that dimple like, on his face?

yet a force compels me

to look away

to leave them be

like a rubber band stretched out in their direction

tugging at my face to look, to face somewhere else

to signal

"I notice you, and I have no further business with you"

and to avoid signaling

"I notice you, and I want you to notice me too"

a habit from fear of interacting

of picking up the other's attention

the dread of feeling the

"I see you looking at me. Why are you looking at me?"

inner dialogue in a flash of anxiety

from not knowing what this connection

might be like

and other fictions the mind may live