nurture

I thought I wanted to be with you

and to make you happy

and to watch movies with you

and go swimming together

and go dancing together

and go creating together

but what I really wanted was to take you

to have you

to fuck you

to feel you wanted me to be there

with you

to feel wanted

to feel needed

to feel desired

not to nurture you

but to nurture my own itch

to feel important

to feel useful

and you know what

I don't want that shit

I don't want that want

come if you want

don't if you want

be, and I'll be

and if our lives match

good

and if they don't

good