Echo,
I love you. I miss you so much. I've been unfocused these last few days because all I really want to do is spend more time with you, but now we're on opposite sides of the world, and any words of true feelings I might tell you might turn out sour later with time. I'm afraid of making promises that time won't let me keep. But I want to tell you that I love you, and that you complete me in many ways. Being so close with someone else? I don't recall. Feeling SO at ease, feeling such a perfect fit, physically? Mentally we are very different, you think at 20x my speed and still like to help me keep up with you. I feel happy and trusting when I'm with you.
So what can we do? We're in the middle of studies. Neither of us is going to quit our study programs to be with the other - we would never forgive ourselves. Promise future love, when we finish our studies? I could, but I'm afraid of not being able to keep promises honestly. Ours was a summer love, we knew it - but will it last? How can we know unless we give it time? We must give it time.
I wish you the best. You are a little diamond star, a remarkable jewel of energy and playfulness and intelligence. I hope to be part of your future, I hope to be your life partner. But while we still can't be with each other, I need time to finish this part of my life. And you yours. I want our good times to repeat. Let's aim for it. As stupid as it sounds, I want it if the other girl doesn't work out fine. I know it sounds shallow, but it's real. She is a big "what-if" in my life, and I must see what comes out of us, if anything, in the near future. I don't want to hope or root for anything - she may take me, she may not, we may work out only for a little while, or for years. I don't know. I just want to flow for now, and I will take decisions when I feel them.
I miss you, my git friend.
Truly,
I love you. I miss you so much. I've been unfocused these last few days because all I really want to do is spend more time with you, but now we're on opposite sides of the world, and any words of true feelings I might tell you might turn out sour later with time. I'm afraid of making promises that time won't let me keep. But I want to tell you that I love you, and that you complete me in many ways. Being so close with someone else? I don't recall. Feeling SO at ease, feeling such a perfect fit, physically? Mentally we are very different, you think at 20x my speed and still like to help me keep up with you. I feel happy and trusting when I'm with you.
So what can we do? We're in the middle of studies. Neither of us is going to quit our study programs to be with the other - we would never forgive ourselves. Promise future love, when we finish our studies? I could, but I'm afraid of not being able to keep promises honestly. Ours was a summer love, we knew it - but will it last? How can we know unless we give it time? We must give it time.
I wish you the best. You are a little diamond star, a remarkable jewel of energy and playfulness and intelligence. I hope to be part of your future, I hope to be your life partner. But while we still can't be with each other, I need time to finish this part of my life. And you yours. I want our good times to repeat. Let's aim for it. As stupid as it sounds, I want it if the other girl doesn't work out fine. I know it sounds shallow, but it's real. She is a big "what-if" in my life, and I must see what comes out of us, if anything, in the near future. I don't want to hope or root for anything - she may take me, she may not, we may work out only for a little while, or for years. I don't know. I just want to flow for now, and I will take decisions when I feel them.
I miss you, my git friend.
Truly,
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