Random water thoughts

Today as I swam and as I lay in the jacuzzi, a few thoughts crossed my mind, and I found at least one of them noteworthy enough to be written down.

1. I never get any girls. Why is that?. I'm not horribly ugly or deformed, or have foul manners or hygiene, nor am I really poor. My body is quite healthy, I have an education, I have money, and I am not dumb. However, I never get any girls. Not any. Not one. Every single girl I have pursued has rejected my advances. This lack has been the cause of much sadness and discontent in me, but now I'm trying to dissect the situation and figure it out. What's missing? Why do I always fail? I came up with this hypothesis today while swimming: I do not give them enough attention, I do not try hard enough. Once they express their intention to not upgrade our friendship to a loving relationship, I stop trying. And no girl will ever agree to it at the first try. Is that true? That's what I've heard. Anyway, why is that? Why do I stop trying? The explanation I came up with today is conditioning. I've been conditioned to stop trying, because I have always failed. If I have pursued 100 girls, and I have come up with rejection 100 times, and each rejection hurts... why should I keep trying? It fucking hurts every time. Conditioning. People who fail too much initially will learn to stop trying... it is the logical behavior, given the data. Poor them. And take this from someone in that situation: at one point, you forget how to try harder, and you never do, even if you really really want to. You just don't know how to, and you don't. And fucking shame prevents you from re-learning how to again.
2. I gave a rose to Diane. I was thinking what would happen if I came back next year, and she had died? And maybe Laura would have also died? (I gave her a rose too). That would be weird. Would I think I had the power to kill by giving a rose? I was thinking what kind of applications would that have. Assassination by rose-giving? If I hated some artist's music, I could give him/her a rose, disguised as a fan gift, and let my "property" do its thing. T'would be weird.
3. I was also thinking what will be my method to disconnect? I have too many online accounts - too much of my life invested in virtual realities. Can I disconnect myself completely? I'd like to. Who will I trust with my online assets? Marcelo has been the person most on my mind... Julian kind of surfaced but was quickly rejected. Laura? Too close, too recent, and too concerned. Marcelo seems like the correct person so far.