Child

I have enough regrets. Having a child is producing a new being, a new conscience, a being with the same capabilities, the same potential as any of us. But he is new, pure, unblemished... how would I dare force a new creature into this world if I cannot be sure that I am capable of being his guide?

The shock of a world is strong enough - it encompasses the child's entire being, it saturates its senses, as it only begins to grasp by trial and error what is this world, what is it made of, and how does it work. It is by far enough.

Would I dare not only force this child, who never even asked to be given life, to wander through this world, aimlessly except as towards its end, but would I also have no good reason to do so? So that when the child suspects the closed nature of Life, and asks me to quench his curious thirst: "why are we here? what are we doing? is going to school essential to Life? what should we be doing?", the best I could come up with for him would be an ignorant shrug and a sense of apathy, of mediocrity, an attitude of "oh, who knows, just go along with it", accepting our slavery to inertia, the sense of everything being nothing but random matter floating in a random world? To have for his legacy only the opposite of a purpose - a lack of spirit? To be afraid of his questions rather than anxious for them? To not have something I could be proud and happy to give them - something which I know will make their existence as purposeful as what made me want to create them so I could tell them that?

I dare not. But as I write these words, I understand what my father once told us. He said exactly that. He said "this is what I can give you, this is my truth for you. Nothing else is as important as this, you must know it". He was totally sure of what he gave us - he gave it to us proudly, happily, with light in his eyes. He was excited, wanting, hoping that we understood what was so difficult to transmit, but was so true. So true. That is my father. My father achieved this, that is why he succeeded as a father. He gave us something he was totally proud of. I accept this legacy in its entirety. Now I see, I feel the purpose that he gave us. To my siblings and me. We are all endowed with his truth, with The Truth, in his eyes, and now in mine. He shared his Truth with me, so that I could live it, know it, feel it throughout my whole life. I think I understand now. This is a magical moment. I understand my father's legacy to us. I understand what it means to know what to do in Life. My body is shivering with excitement and energy, I now understand my father. He went through our same thoughts. We all do, we all have the same potential, abilities, nature, mind. And I am happy, I am thrilled to see that my father and I have such similar thoughts and potential. I understand now. My father gave us everything he had to give us. There is nothing more important. Nothing. He gave us the One thing, the One Secret that makes his life meaningful. He gave us his best and all that day in his private room, and he has given it to us ever since - he tells us and tells us, and we take it for granted. But now I understand exactly what it is. His most valuable postulate, his central Truth - he gave it to us. Thank you, Papi. :) :) Te quiero tanto.

Por qué estamos aquí? Por qué vivimos?