One more day...

CANCUN COMING UP!!! It's hard to think of anything else!!

Except her. Just today I realized I forgot to give her the second picture I had printed and framed for her. I'll have to give it to her somehow... how else is she supposed to get it? And what I am supposed to do with it if not give it to her?

I wish I was still her friend.

...

As for Cancun, my bag's all packed up already! I packed excess clothes and excess money - I'm really planning on squeezing ALL the fun out of this trip!!

As for her... I think I'll write to her. Yeah...

CANCUN'S GONNA ROCK!!!!!

Almost there...

It's Dec. 26th, and I've got about 50 hours to go to get ready for MY TRIP TO CANCUN!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!

Yep, I got excited about it again! :D I was looking at some vids of some parties @ the famous Coco Bongo disco in Cancun... it's AWEEEESOME!!!!! I CAN'T WAIT!!!!

I've got to get my clothes ready, tho... I've only got one semi-decent pair of jeans, and lots of khakis... but I really don't think khakis will do... I'll have to do some quick shopping today! :O

My lovesickness is all gone now. I managed to talk to her for about 5 minutes, I gave her a Christmas present, and at least I cleared things up. The way I see it, I showed her how I was feeling, and now if she doesn't respond to it, well... that's her issue. I've done my part. I'm not about to force her... It's almost like Christmas made it all so much better! :D I feel much happier. She's leaving on Thursday... maybe she'll write or call before that? I don't think so. Too bad.

When I say that I'm going to Cancun to new people, they always tell me how GREAT it is there! They tell me "have fun, but be safe!!" Oh, I plan to! I wonder how promiscuous will I become.

So, things to do today:

• Get my stuff ready for CANCUN!!!
• Get money
• For my expenses on the trip
• To pay Marcelo & Chino
  
• Buy protection
• Get clothes
• Plan it over with my trip-partners
  
• Read a little about Struts (Java)
• Go and give a Christmas card to Kira
• Talk with Hamilton about the program I made for him - payment and follow-ups.
• My FJBG Farewell party @ Vesuvio at 1230. (What should I take?)

Oh yeah, and I finally finished the program for Socorro, and she paid me! (I think she was surprised by the Q4000 price, but... oh well... she was one who told me that I should charge what I thought was right. And... yep... that's what I think).

Now I'll read some Struts. Bye! G'night!! Wish me luck ON CANCUN YEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

XD

In other news...

Lovesickness issue apart, I'd like to mention my other recent events:

• A goodbye party for me has been organized by FJBG. It will take place on Wednesday, December the 26th @Vesuvio's, 12:30. I was thinking of saying something jokingly solemn as a farewell speech... I'm still pondering.
• The Cancun trip is confirmed. My passport is approved for entry to the Mexican territory, the ticket is bought, and now I just need to get some money. I think my mom has a few hundred $s stocked up somewhere... I'll just borrow them. Why am not THAT excited?
  
• I already submitted all my paperwork to go work @Reddwerks starting January the 7th, 2008. Seems like everything's set. But I'm still hoping on some miracle that will allow me to get to know a certain person here in Guatemala better...
• I bought 7 little fiber optic color lamps in Z.1 a few days ago. They cost me Q6.30 each, and the batteries were Q1.75 per pair. I'd say it was a good deal. I'm planning on giving them away as Christmas presents. I have one in my room right in front of me right now, in fact. I like it.
  
• Christmas is looking VERY dull this year. I had no idea that a Christmas eve could be SO... un-Christmas-ese. For all I see around me, it could VERY well be June 17th. It's kind of sad... there are no children running around, playing soccer, and I don't see any people getting together... of course, it's hard to see all this if I stay locked up in the house all day. But still... I can't feel any Christmas spirit at all. Is it only me??
• During a sudden discharge of feelings two days ago, I wrote a pleading letter to my sister, asking her to work on our family's communication. And then she wrote back, telling me some of her love adventures in life, and I replied with mine. I wonder if this will change anything... (The discharge was caused by she who causes my present lovesickness).
• I'm invited to Pajaro's party tonight @8, Nais Lounge Z.10. I hope the event can take my mind off my present gloomy thoughts.
  

Yeah, I guess that's it for now. I'm still expecting a little clarifying text message or call from her... if she doesn't reply I'll be bummed out for a few days, including Christmas Eve. I just hope to recover for the Cancun adventure. (Yeah...)

Bad medicine

Three days later and still lovesick. Remember this song?

I ain't got a fever got a permanent disease
It'll take more than a doctor to prescribe a remedy
I got lots of money but it isn't what I need
Gonna take more than a shot to get this poison out of me
I got all the symptoms count 'em 1,2,3

First I need
That's what you get for falling in love
Then you bleed
You get a little but it's never enough
On your knees
That's what you get for falling in love

(Sigh...) I just got a call and I thought it was her. And nope, it wasn't her. I wonder what she'll reply... I asked her if I had said anything wrong on Tuesday (over a text message...). That is, IF she replies, of course...

It's not everyday you meet your soulmate...

Lovesick...

There IS such a thing as Lovesickness. I thought it was just an expression. It happens when you give yourself to someone, and that someone doesn't give herself back. Makes sense?

Multiple adoption

I ran into Julita, Scarleth's mother, at the bank near my house today. She told that her family and she loved me very much and that she was my mom.

My mom??? That comment sounded so familiar...

You know, during these last months, I've been receiving so many of these comments... and repeatedly, too... I think I have seven moms:

1. The original one, you know, the one who's in Chicago. She doesn't actually TELL ME she's my mom... I guess she assumes that I know.
   
2. Aunt Violeta, the aunt who has always told me she loves me very very very very very very very very very much, and that if she were 15 years younger, I wouldn't be alive anymore. That can has made me wonder about accidental homicide.
3. Kira de Abreu, my abacus teacher. She doesn't really come out in intense emotional outbursts like my aunt does, but I recall her telling me once: "since your mother isn't in the country, I'll be taking her place with some of my advice". She has already told me not to marry either a native USA girl or a guatemalan girl "tirada con onda" living in the USA, and I intend on following that advice. Strictly.
4. Norma de González, a 75-year old classmate at my abacus class on thursday morning during the past year, and my computational-usage student tuesday mornings at her place. She half-jokingly tells me that I need motherly advice because I'm at a very important stage in my life - a stage of change. She's told me lots of funny advice, but the kind I remember most is the dietary and culinary kind. She's told me how to save on food, which good foods to eat, and how I should NEVER, NEVER throw food away.
5. Isabelita Gutiérrez de Bosch, the woman who financially supported most of my higher-level education from 2004-2006. We're not THAT close, and she just made a slight remark about being my mom, but it ought to count...
6. Miriam Hernández, my transpersonal therapist several months ago, and now a good friend of mine. I also recall her saying something like that to me. Her advice, of course, was so much and varied that it's hard to write it all. But in a nutshell, she tells me I should look for myself, and live my life exactly as I want it to be. And achieve supreme happiness and consciousness. Yep.
   
7. Julita Pérez de Arévalo, my friend Scarleth's mom. She's HIGHLY religious, an AVID rule-follower, and she says she loves me very much. Thank you for everything, Julita. Oh yeah, her advice: she's told me that the most important thing in life is God, and that I should seek it during my life. Sort-of makes sense.
   

Maternal instinct seems to abound around me.

Thanks moms! You've been a great support for us all! We thank you all from a certain point in our hearts, different for each one of you.

Lots of things

Lots of things happened today. I'll be brief.

1. I bought my trip package to Cancun for New Year's, Dec 28th-Jan 2nd. Now I have to go to the Mexican embassy on Monday and get a tourist visa.
2. I took a C# test at noon at New Horizons and passed with a score of 840 out of 1000. Passing score was 700.
3. I picked up my financial solvency document from UVG today.
4. Went to Richard's graduation ceremony, and then dinner at his house on the afternoon. Spent all night there playing Scrabble and cards, just came back about half an hour ago.

And today, Saturday the 15th, I have all day reserved to work with Dr. Hamilton Abreu on his dental XL worksheets...

That's it for now. Bye.

Got money today

I received Q4500 today. (And used up Q208, so a surplus of Q4292 today). In fact, I'm carrying about Q2600 in my wallet right now. Anyone curious as to why?

Well, I may be curious in the future when I wander off to read my own blog. The thing is, ETA paid me Q2500 in the morning for having created a program for them that they will use in the future to certify new drivers at their school. The parking lot just across the street from ETA charged me Q8, and I paid Q200 to Kira for tuition during the month of December.

The other Q2000 were a surprise. I've been urging Andres to pay me the money I once lent to him more than a year ago, and although he promised to have Q6000 before December began, he didn't because of several excuses he had, like he always has had... but anyway... his friend deposited Q2000 today in my account. Yep, I already confirmed it online. It was a cash deposit, it seems. Either that or a same-bank check. Either way, there's more money there for me to withdraw now, and more importantly, to use.

This was it for today. Cya later...

Determinant Saturday

Saturday, December the 8th, 2007 was a neat day (for me).

But my last blog closed off on Thursday, so I'll narrate my Friday first.

I had offered Kira to help her on Friday in the arranging of the auditorium for the abacus championship. She told me to arrive at 10AM, but I arrived at 11. Not TOO big a deal. So I got there and began to get busy. My first task was to put together several pieces of japanese armor so as to give the impression of a fully dressed japanese warrior. There was already a girl at the site putting together the first pieces, so I joined in and put the thing together. As a sort-of sculptural task, it was kind of hard for me, but after about an hour or so, we managed to put it together. It came out neat. :)

Later I helped with hanging some japanese kites off the auditorium balcony. Along with Maria Socorro and Daniela, we used fishing line and tape to hold nine paper kites to the wooden handrail above the lobby. It was good teamwork. :)

But aside from the decorating labor, what struck me the most was meeting Daniela, the famous undefeated Guatemalan japanese abacus champion for 8 years, from 1999 to 2006. A nice, slim, black-and-jeans, friendly girl, we didn't talk much about anything beside the decorations during most of the day. But then when the decorations were finished, we had a chance to talk a little bit more. I usually began saying anything that occurred to me, and then she'd reply with something related, and so small bits of chit-chat occurred. Just normal conversation, you know... She told me something about wanting to finish 70 abacus exercises in one week :O, and that she only had to do 5 to reach that record for this year. And then her mom arrived, she left, and then I did the same.

Upon getting back home, I turned on my PC. As usually happens with me, I procrastinated my planned labor (abacus exercise) several hours, and then it was time for me to leave with Elisa to Manfredo's graduation party, near Antigua. So we left (I drived), and though we got lost for a while, we found the place. The party was nice... there was food, drinks, wine, and even music and a dancing area. And even I danced! :O Yep, with Estebaneiro's girlfriend, almost fianceé. The place was really nice - it had lush, pretty gardens, a waterfall, it was christmas-illuminated, and there were even a couple of peacocks walking around! I liked them a lot! I also spent some time playing with Daniela - she's so lovely! (I mean my 1-year old niece Daniela).

Then I got back home. It was almost midnight, and I had not practiced ANY ABACUS that day for the championship tomorrow. So I thought, "well, it has to be done...", so I did it. I finished up my affairs on the computer, turned it off, and cleared up my desk. And then I practiced abacus. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten... I'm not sure how many exercises I did, but it was DEFINITELY more than... what... more than my WEEKLY average, I think? I finished a few minutes before four. Sleep was already hitting on me, and I needed to save energy for the real thing. So then I went outside the house, walked a while under the 4AM sky, tried to pray for good results in the championship, and then went to sleep.

I was supposed to arrive at the championship at 8AM. I got up at 7AM... yep... late already. My body wouldn't help me in getting up any earlier, but I managed at 7. I had some cereal for breakfast, took a shower, got dressed, and hurriedly drove towards the abacus championship. I entered the university parking lot at 8:08AM (my parking ticket says so), so my arrival was not AWFULLY impunctual. I got a little red card with the number "2" on it that I pinned on my shirt, and then I placed my abacus on the desk on the stage with my name on it. Before the competition, I talked to some other participants, we joked around, and stuff. I found Dyana (yeah, her sister is an abacus student, too...), and while we were talking, Daniela (the abacus participant) came in asked me where was I going to sit. After that, we began talking a lot. We sat together before the competition, we sang the Guatemala hymn, we listened to the japanese hymn, and then we were called to occupy our desks on the stage. (I got a purple little pencil, Daniela got a green one). Daniela and I were on the front of the stage, side by side, so we exchanged some last comments before the competition, like "are you nervous?", "my fingers are cold", "I'm trembling like crazy", "good luck!", and stuff like that.

Then... the competition. Precise details will be ommitted here, but it was exciting :). Daniela always signalled her results to her sister on the front row after each stage, while I just watched and discerned whatever I could. We also talked between ourselves a little, to ask how did it go and stuff. And then the competition ended, and we went down to eat and spend time with our families.

Elisa, Manfredo, his family, and Olga accompanied me. :) It was nice to eat pizza, churros, and drink a little fruit juice with them. Then Kira put a video about Japanese culture and technology on the main stage, which we watched. And after the video... well, several things happened. Kira sang honoring her daughter graduating from high school, we got our participation diplomas, and finally the prizes were awarded.

I was almost certain that I would get 2nd place in the competition (in the "super experts" category), but I was not aware by how LITTLE would my place be decided. Nearing the end of the award ceremony, she mentioned a large part of my academic achievements throughout the years, and then announced that I had gotten 2nd place under Daniela's 1st place by a difference of TWENTY POINTS!! :O And I REALLY gaped my mouth at hearing this... TWENTY POINTS!! OUT OF 1500 OR SO!!! 20 POINTS!!!

I still don't know if the corrector/s was/were biased on my favor, but I was TRULY surprised to hear this. As we got up on the stage, I was mouthing "TWENTY POINTS" to myself, still quite unbelieving. And I was given my second-place diploma I see before me right now and a small box with some japanese paper art. I was SO happy... I had no idea I'd really reach that high. Of course, a little frustration also sank in, saying "if you WOULD'VE gotten 20 more points, you could've won!", but I was OK. I'm still happy with this result :)

Almost everyone gladly got up and began to walk away as soon as the awards were over, but I was happy to stay. Daniela and I heartily congratulated each other, still joking a little about it. :)

Then, after some parking fee jumble and some helping Kira boxing all of her japanese stuff from the auditorium, we were ready to leave. Then Daniela had to leave, but not without exchanging her emails with me. I hope to meet her again soon. I still want to ask her and tell her some stuff. I'm not trying to gloat or anything, but being the top two abacus participants at Kira's classes, I do believe we can happily exchange meaningful experiences, impressions, opinions, thoughts, feelings, etc... I mean, we share a common, unusual hobby. I believe that is good grounds for nice conversation and friendship. I even felt we had a hard time saying goodbye. Oh well...

On another topic... Reddwerks... Time DID tell.

Yup. I got a job offer. And less than 24 hours later, on Saturday afternoon, I took the offer. And a couple of hours later, I printed out the contract, signed and dated the last page, scanned it, and sent it back. So yes, I took it. I am now scheduled to arrive at Austin and work for Reddwerks, starting on January the 7th, 2008. Wow.

I'm still a little unbelieving. I've never lived too long far away from this house, my house. I believe never for more than 2 months. And now I expect to leave for at least 6 months... seems it's as some other people call it: a new stage in my life. It'll definitely be a new experience. I'm not TOO sure what to expect. But... oh well, as everything has been up until now, "Time will Tell".

The salary's not bad at all. How's 40 a year sound? (I know, I KNOW it's not good practice to publish information like that on a public blog... but anyway, how many people actually READ my blog? Besides, on a US standard, that's not exactly Forbes' idea of a generous salary. I hope Reddwerks doesn't mind too much about my publishing information on their salaries...)

What a big deal with the salary. Anyway... now my days in Guatemala are counted. My travelling date was conveniently pushed until January, and now I may be able to finish all of my remaining projects here. Maybe I'll even apply to some New Horizons exams and get some useful MSDN certifications... And then there's also Marcelo's vacation. He's going to Cancun for New Year's... so THAT'S an EXCELLENT option to say goodbye to my life here in Guatemala!! Don't you think? Don't you? Don't you?? :P I know Cancun is not in Guatemala, but hey, it once was, so who cares about a 150-year gap? I'll be saying goodbye to Guatemala in a Guatemala-owned, Mexico-administered city, which makes sense 8-). Well, at least that's the plan. I believe I can spare about $500-$600 just this while...

So that's what happened on Saturday. I got a second place in the abacus championship, met and contacted a really cool girl who also happens to be the undefeated Guatemalan japanese abacus champion, and accepted a job offer away from home. As I told my brother, I think Fate took me literally when I said "I want to take a year off". Yep, Fate (through me) has already scheduled 2008 for something besides "off". Normal activities... work... money... yeah... not my ideal... comfortable. I wonder what will happen? Will I stay long? One year? Two years? More???

Time will Tell.

Changing my mind?

I believe to possess a healthy dose of stubbornness. But these last 3 days seemingly overwhelmed my healthy dose. I do think I may be changing my mind.

I wanted a free life. Moneyless life. Traveler life. A "pack-your-two-t-shirts, universe-contemplating, walk-when-you-can't-ride, destination-unknown" kind of life.
But the dark side is seducing me...

Approximately 69 hours ago, I was innocently chatting on the net, when all of a sudden my oldest brother tells me to pack up to go to fly to Austin as soon as possible for an interview at his job site. I had kept the impression upon others that I was moderately interested in applying for a job at Marcos' company, so as to keep people's expectations just high enough to keep them from bugging and pushing me into doing something "productive" for my life. But now I was called for an URGENT INTERVIEW with flight expenses to Austin and back completely covered by the company. What could I say? "Sorry, I've got a VERY important abacus competition on Saturday, maybe later..." But then they offered me a very short trip, just long enough for the required interviews to occur, to which I had no honest and reasonable excuse to use against.

So I flew... six hours after chatting with my brother, I was at the airport, boarding a plane to Houston, TX. I can't remember much about it. Two sleepless nights had sucked away my energy, and I just remember waking up when everyone was leaving the plane. The Houston-Austin flight was the same story, only shorter (though I wouldn't know... I was so deep asleep...)

Once in Austin, I was picked up by Carlos Luis Rendon (an ex-student and ex-teacher at Universidad del Valle de Guatemala whom I once served as teaching assistant but lost his students' tests so I was fired but he didn't remember about it so it didn't really matter) in his light blue BMW. I was taken directly to their office, and interviews began pouring in.

I was interviewed 4ice that day - mostly technical questions - data structures, algorithms, databases, and networking configurations. That night I slept at Marcos' apartment, and woke up much refreshed for my other interviews at 7AM the next day. Thrice was I interviewed that day (each interview was led by a different person), and two of them were mostly business-like interviews. No real technical chat here - but mostly "what are your goals?", "what would you like to work at in Reddwerks?", "How much do you expect to be paid?", etc... Despite all my hesitation and reluctancy, I believe it went out good. I expressed my concern and fear of being trapped working for a company for too long to several of them, and even so, they seemed to understand me and respect me for it. However, their arguments were subtly convincing. "You're young, you can save money now and travel later... Work here at Reddwerks is never boring... you're always doing new things...".

And that all sounds true. I saw the working conditions at Reddwerks. Liberal, easy-going, innovative, and fast-paced when needed. Honestly, a decent example of a technical developer's dream job. So why was I reluctant? Because, as my last blog will testify, my mind is set on what I believe to be "higher goals" than money, career, and job stability. I don't want to be an extremist, but I don't want to be one of the many specimens who worship the money idol above all other things. Or like those who feel cannot SURVIVE without their plethora of surrounding, luring technical and luxury commodities, like McFlurries, banana milkshakes, iPods, Big Macs, Coca Colas, and 6" and 12" honey mustard, spicy mayo, mozzarella and parmesan melted cheese sandwiches.

But depending on the offer, I might take the job. :O I know... I know... but it is A step towards independence. And that's one more than I've taken so far this year! Isn't that a good thing? I sure hope it is.

Of course, they haven't made any offers yet, but I'm about 85% certain that they WILL offer me a job with them. Will I take it? Will I take it? Will I take it?... Time will tell.

And then I came back to Guatemala at 1PM, had some lunch at home, attended the thursday afternoon abacus class, spent about 3 more hours with Kira's husband helping him out with his maxilofacial measuring and diagnostics system in Excel, and then drove back home along with Elisa. And now I write this blog which, finally, had something concrete to be written about.

Oh, and this saturday @9AM is my ABACUS YEARLY GUATEMALAN CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D I sure hope I win!!!!!!
(Yeah... I hope... 8-)

Antonio.

Choices

Have you ever been confronted with two choices, one which you claim as your ideal, and another tempting you, one which lures you into thinking that it is only a longer, more comfortable path to your ideal, but which you fear that will trap you in the very world that you avoid, maybe even for the rest of your life?

What to do when your soul is set upon a path so strongly, and then another option comes by - a stable, standard, secure path, which everyone around you recommends? Must you ignore all past knowledge and follow only your heart? Isn't that what we came to this Life for? I live life to experience... to try... to LIVE... as I DECIDE.

"Here is life, an experiment to a great extent untried by me..."

And if I follow advice all the time, how can I truly experience Life? How can I know what Life is REALLY about when I'm led only along the path everyone travels? NO. My heart, my soul, my true desire MUST be my guide!!!!!

"Un camino lo hacen los pies!"

Relativity

The following impression struck me today: our opinion is important. Whatever we want to express, we should. Not because it's good. Not because it's right. Simply because it's our own. And no other opinion matters as much as one's own.

In my experience, I don't bring out my opinion very much. I either prize it too much for the "rest of the world", or I fear it might seem wrong in their eyes. Either way, I tend not to say ANYTHING until I am certain it will cause the effect I am hoping for - either approval, admiration, or (mostly) simply curious attention. But I just thought about it... and that's just a sick repression for my thoughts and feelings. I shouldn't care if they're "right". What is "right", anyway? On most levels, I believe "right" is simply the majority's opinion. So why should I repress my opinion simply because it's possible that I will not fit in with the majority? That's just dumb. I've been acting dumbly... for... YEARS. YEARS wasted. Silencing my personal, could-be-rejected-by-the-majority thoughts just because I'm so afraid to face a confrontation of opinion. I mean, opinions are personal, but every once in a while (or more like SEVERAL onces in a while), clashing opinions tend to escalate the confrontation to more physical levels. But I think I could handle that sort of thing.

So I've decided to let my feelings and thoughts flow freely towards my tongue and the surrounding air. Not all the time, of course - a minimal social protocol is required for survival these days. But the world will be hearing much more of me from now on, that's what I intend. Who knows... maybe I'll even vote for the next elections!

Freestyle writing example

Under a cool November sky, sitting on a wall (and freaking out the neighbors too), it occurred to me to write the following:

About Communication and Technology

Not communication technology. Everyone knows tons about that, so why say more? I'm thinking of these two separate concepts, and their effect on one another. What do I mean by it?

Well, figure this. Ten years ago, cellphones were still sort of a luxury. Yeah, remember those times? These days, I'm driving to the supermarket, and I think of my mom. So I think "hmmm, I haven't talked to her since Sunday, maybe I should give her a call". So I fumble into my pocket, squeeze my cellphone out my jeans while sitting down, and speed dial 8. Or even better, I just go "MOM" and the thing starts saying beeeeeeeep-------------- beeeeeeeeeep------------.

Took me maybe 10, 15 seconds to do the whole thing. And then 20 minutes waiting for her to stop nagging about my never calling her. But before, life was hard. We COULDN'T phone and drive. It was awful. You used to see people car-wrecked on the side of the road, WALKING entire blocks just to find a crappy payphone. Oh, and if you forgot the change, you're screwed. We still used to carry coins, how lousy was that?

Technology lets us talk to everyone, all the time now. But why would we want to do that? What's the point of talking to Tsing Hua down there in Saigon, when I can easily hook up with Easy Jenny down at the local bar? Have you seen those people flirting with Asian people on the net? (native Asians I mean...) What are they thinking? But people aren't really famous for their thinking. They're pretty stupid, actually. Yeah, I'm talking about you. You too, yes! We're stupid, admit it! At least I do.

What I'm trying to say is that we don't NEED technology. We don't need it. Cavemen, our grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand and add two thousand grands more, grand-grand-GRAND father was a caveman. He didn't have IM, but he hooked up! He didn't even have to call her, or buy her chocolates or all that crap. Yeah, people back then were straight-on. Hard-core. You remember, right? Yeah, the good old days...

We've forgotten what communicating is really for. They knew back then, and now we don't. Really. Now only the little cellphones and computers know about it, but we don't. What is it for? I can't tell you. No, I can't. We forgot, remember? We forgot ALL about it. But if people 40,000 years ago made it through without cellphones or online dating, I believe so can we.

Wing Sprouter

My life is undergoing significant transitions these days, and I believe that it will only undergo more of these in the next few days/weeks/months. I don't feel like writing every single detail like I sometimes do...

Still, I have this nagging feeling that I should blog. For some reason...

On grounds of celebrating Marcelo Garza's visit to Guatemala, Wicho invited some people over to his "summer home" in Escuintla to chill out overnight. Though I knew I should practice abacus, I went. And I met Renato (Wicho's cousin) and Monica (Wicho's family friend), the complement of our five-member party.

And, as is usual with overnight chilling-out sessions, beer was served during the day, margaritas were brought out at sunset, and then vodka, rum, and other exotic drinks flowed throughout the night... In the alcoholic sense, I played hard-to-get, as always, and thus managed all night to keep myself just sober enough to remember everything and (almost) not to do anything stupid. To describe the eccentricities released by the liquor effect would be hardly worth the effort. Instead, I'd like to focus my description on Monica.

It's possible that I may simply be subconsciously needy, but maybe then external observers can find faults in my logic. As far as I am concerned right now, my meeting her was a sign of some sort. OK, let's see. What are the chances of my meeting someone who 1) is interested in astrology (the chinese horoscope, the Greek zodiac, AND the mayan 20-day cycle), just as I am?, 2) maps to the same zodiac sign (Pisces) as I do?, 3) likes and collects candles just as I like them and use them up?, 4) loves Koi FISH, the figures represented by a pair of floating CANDLES I bought a few months ago to try to show my "love" for another Pisces girl? (too bad I just used them up about a week ago...), 5) likes all things Japanese, the culture to which the abacus whose exercises I practice belongs and which will be represented in the nearby abacus championship to which I invited her and she agreed to go?, and 6) (perhaps the most astounding one) actually enjoyed my company and conversation and could spend long spans of time talking to me almost uninterruptedly?

I really don't know what this could mean. But it must mean SOMETHING. It's too much focused in a single person. We really hit it off. I know my plan is to leave Guatemala in the near future, but I'm not discarding any possibilities. TODO ES POSIBLE. At least that much I know. Now I gotta write her and find out what all my fuss is about.

Aside from this, The Tenth Annual Guatemalan Abacus Arithmetical Calculation Championship will take place in December 8th, 2007, and I'm one of its proud participants. :D I plan to practice enough so I can obtain First Place.

Marcelo's coming to Guatemala allowed me to meet some other people too. On Tuesday, I met (re-met, actually) a girl (let's call her G1) who Wicho describes as EXTREMELY MOODY TO THE POINT OF IRRITATION, but who, through my own observations, I believe to be very hyperactive and fun to be around with. I didn't get to know her well enough, so I can't really elaborate much. I also met another girl (let's call her G2), G1's friend, who I seem to share a couple of interests with too. Most prominent of these similarities is our love for trance music. She's a bit hyperactive herself, but she LOVES Infected Mushroom, she's gone to some of the same trance concerts I've been to this year, and now I'm sending her some of my fav trance MP3s on my list. No reply yet, but it's early. G2 ALSO cuts her own hair ;) And we heartily agreed on the solid, irrefutable fact that WE ROCK! XD

Oh yes, and how could I forget?? On account of Thanksgiving Day, Miguel Angel Toralla, my dad's current LA-resident cousin came to visit Guatemala, and had dinner with us in Restaurante Katok in Z.9. Also invited to the dinner were Elisa, Manfredo, Heidi, and their kids, all of whom arrived. It was actually pretty fun! Also at the dinner table were Miguel Angel's girlfriend (a near-50 lady who I also really enjoyed talking to), Miguel Angel's son Ibrahim, Ibrahim's wife Carolina, and their son Pablo. So there were 11 people at the table, and we ordered without any money-guilt or awkward discrepancies. The food was great, and the company was excellent. As fate would have it, Friday night is Karaoke night at Katok restaurant, and so we even ended up singing several songs each! (which marked ANOTHER quaint "God-iality", as Mimi calls it: http://www.listen-project.de/garfield/index.php?strip=1195805996. Yeah, same day, November 23rd. I actually saw the comic before, but didn't notice the "God-iality" until after coming back home! Oh yeah, and it's Sai Baba's birthday too.) And Elisa said I sing "bonito". I guess that's a really good step in the process of my removing the trauma of her calling my singing "horrible!! horrible!! horrible!!" almost 10 years ago. Maybe now I'll become more comfortable singing and soon become a prodigious, omnipitched, powerful, charismatic, heart-reaching, applause-raiser singer. Or an actor... or maybe a rock band singer? I think that'd be cool!

I think this is enough information for now. I'll post pics here as soon as I get them. Bye!

P.S: Almost forgot! The following is one of the most wonderful, significant, TRUTHFUL poems I've EVER read: http://www.elfination.com/?p=246. I hope I'm not breaking any copyright laws by doing this. :P Is this link OK with you, Ms. Elf? (In case you ever read this...)

P.P.S: The REASON my blog is called Wing Sprouter is because that's what my life is about right now. I'm sprouting wings. No elaboration of ideas here. It's also my current MSN nickname. (Typical net-junkie kind of comment, huh?)

Another milestone

Haven't blogged anything since like 39 days. I'll do one just to keep track, not really in the mood to elaborate:

• Cut my hair on monday. I did. Yes, me. Looks short now.
  
• Marcelo Garza came back from the US today afternoon. Had lunch with him today.
• Abacus championship coming up, Dec 8th. Want to win.
• Marcos told me to write an earthquake article for his site (www.explicame.org). I will soon.
• Had a Skype interview with Ph.D Michael Georgiopoulos from UCF on Friday afternoon. Went fairly well.
• SLT broke up with me yesterday. In a good way.
• Andres repaid me 2/9ths of his debt. Promised to pay another 6/9ths this very month.
• Used up the two little floating fish-shaped candles from Seattle. Didn't last much.
• Plan to buy Marcelo G's $350 Toshiba laptop tomorrow, or at least this week. Not for me - for an office.
  
• Went into a depressive fit last week. I'm all right now.
• Scarleth got her cellphone stolen last week. I got her a VK i230 two days later. Now it's giving ugly MicroSD format problems.
• Plan to leave Guatemala and go to Austin just after Dec 8th. Gotta buy the tickets soon.
• Richard got a new Argentinian gf, Nel. She's pretty & fun. Good for both of them.

Yeah, that's all for now, I guess. Night.

Sunshine in Iraq

Today I had just come back from a 90-minute swim at the local gym, and I turned on my computer and began browsing. By mere chance, a misplaced click opened Firefox's "Latest Headlines", which I was just about to react to and close, when my eye caught the phrase "Iraqi blogs" at the very bottom. Though the current Iraq situation is one of the present world's controversies, I usually prefer not to even think of negative situations I feel I can't influence in any way. Today, I think changed my mind.

After browsing through a couple of Iraqi blogs, I sort of skimmed through another one (the third one, I think...) and, still just mindlessly browsing, decided to enter the 15-year old girl's blog. She calls herself Sunshine. I read some of the posts, and them some more... and then some more. And after about 30 min of reading, I realized how different our lives were (hers and mine). She and her family don't feel safe where they live. They don't. Cars explode on the sidestreets, gunfire suddenly erupts out of nowhere, and young, healthy people who were just minding their own business die every day. And everyone can just... suddenly die at any time. Not very nice, in my opinion.

So I did what she asked her readers to do: pray for her. I sincerely prayed for her, and then I wrote her a comment. I truly hope she, her family, and all of Iraq becomes safe again before soon.

Please God, give them a safe and peaceful life.

OOPS, almost forgot - this is the link to her blog: http://livesstrong.blogspot.com/

Tales of a Flash Initiate

Though several days ago I was quite excited with my Flash-learning project, I'm not that thrilled by the idea anymore. This is mostly due to some frustration I'm getting because of limitations that my current Flash version possesses. I have made some progress, though. My small 1-frame Flash animation can now be dynamically extended to 26 different phoneme, simplistically interactive pages.

***NEVER FINISHED - TERMINATED :(

Flash Initiate

It was about time!!! I've been wanting to learn Flash for a LOOONG time now, ever since I got hold of the installer. I knew it was good, I knew it would help me, I knew it'd make my websites easier, flashier, better, and I still didn't take the time to learn it! Lazy putz that I was.

But now it's done. :)

'Twas the night of a Friday, when all through the house
not a creature was stirring, 'xcept me and a mouse

BTW, I feel bad 'bout the poor little rodent
cause he may now be dead by the poison I bought him

These past days I've been having a BUNCH of free time
just look at me now, @5AM writing a rhyme!

So I got the Flash EXE on an ISO file format
and routinely installed it (but I'd already done that)

Then I browsed through the Help Files, and I learned once again
how to draw, scale, and tween on Lessons one through ten

But on previous occasions, I'd gone through these lessons
and never gone farther due to a weak-will situation

But yesterday I stood up and decided "No more!
I will learn Flash today as I have never before!"

Again I opened the Help Files and was awed to find
whole sets of tutorials - they blew my mind

(I know, lousy rhyming, but I'm tired, all right???
It's 6 in the morning, I want to say Good Night)

So last night I began my Flash Initiation
read two complete tutorials filled with Tech education

Click after click the tutorials advanced
and with each small command, I became a wiser man

About 8 hours later, I emerged victorious!
I had read and learned through two complete tutorials!

Now I've finished a small Stiletto Flash ad
and a Flash jigsaw puzzle that looks like a program

Next step: Real Flash jobs! I have one, in fact,
a pending ed app a lady'd love to have

(The lousiest verses I've ever written...)
So yes, I finished a couple of Flash tutorials, though there are still some more to go. I almost can't wait to get started on the real educational program I was asked to do - it seems to promise some really good money!

That's all. Now I'll be leaving to a neighbouring piece of land where Rosa says lots of parrots go to eat in the morning. Have a good day, y'all.

Harsh truth

I'm so sorry, Domi

Finishing off

I'm finishing off my pending activities so I can do something I really want to do - but haven't done because of lack of time and/or decision. I think I'll be ready in approximately one week. I still have to:

1. Suspend abacus classes
2. Deliver Reporting Program, Current Version, to Pinto (and charge the money)
   
3. Deliver Point Graphing Program, Current Version, to Dr. Abreu (and charge MORE money)
4. Buy necessary equipment
5. Contact and notify appropriate people

I'm keeping this project secret for now. But I'll tell it, I promise :)

Boredom & Solitude

Boring and lonely. That is how I would describe today. I woke up at 13:31, had some breakfast, watched TV, checked my mail, tried to do a little abacus (without much success), and had this urge throughout the day to do something, but I wasn't sure exactly what. Maybe I should start applying to UCF? Or planning that trip to Costa Rica? Maybe...

The only useful thing I did was organize the cellphone accounts for Scarleth, Hugo, me, and the rest of the people on our list. I'm about to share the information as Google Spreadsheets in the near future, so as to make it easier for everyone to know exactly what the heck is going on. (Everyone's paying late, but no one's sure exactly HOW MANY months late each one is...)

So that was my day. I only went outside the house's limits about 2 meters while I drove the car backwards and tried to discern its clutch and brake cables in between all the other engine stuff. Unsuccesful, too.

And tomorrow I'm paying our cellphone accounts at ASOMUT, at my mom's old working place. I hope October comes with adventures both happier and better than those that happened in September.

I'm beginning to understand people's dependency upon a partner, a hobby, or any kind of distraction. Life without aim can be very dull.

Uncovering My Personal Secrets

In one of my entries, I said that I had secrets. I'd like to uncover these secrets. Short, plain, and simple.

1. I had a love relationship, both physical and emotional, with my cousin's 15-year old daughter Andrea between June 11th to July 7th. We haven't really talked since.
2. Even while my relationship with Andrea was still "active", I began another love relationship with the Sexy Latin Tiger from Los Angeles. First virtually, then physically, our love developed more sexually than emotionally. I never told Andrea about her, but I intend to. And the part I feel the worst about: even though I don't truly love SLT (I like her and everything, but not THAT much), I've told her I do. And it seems she loves me very much. And I will have to tell her soon. I love her as a friend, but not as a partner for life or anything. I hope she doesn't hurt too much when I tell her.
3. I've been having sessions with a psychologist called Mimi. Not clinical, but as she describes herself, "transpersonal". Very spiritual, open-minded, and esoterically-focused. I like it so far. It was a secret because I didn't want people to think I was going crazy or anything. I guess people that go to psychologists could seem a little dependent. Like "Oh I need help, pleaaaase help me! I don't understand my own life!" I guess that SORT of applies to me, but not too much. Dependency is NOT my thing.
4. A well-kept secret: I once made out with my 4-years-younger sister, almost 2 years ago. I hope she doesn't mind me publishing this...
5. An older secret: I once stole a teacher's British Literature guide book from Miss Jill's office at Colegio Interamericano as a purely rebellious act. No real gain, but a lot of pain when Miss Jill somehow found out it was me who had actually done it.
6. My longest-kept secret: At the IMO 2000 competition in Taejon, South Korea, I did an awful thing. Awful, awful thing. And I think I'll never forget it. I was one of the elected participants to travel and compete, so I gladly went there and took the tests. Each test lasted four and a half hours. The first day of the competition, I felt proud, arrogant, and superior. I believed myself to be better than most of the other people present. I read the three questions, hurriedly answered them all with the best answer I could come up with in a single pass of thought, and then with foolish, delirious thoughts of "genius boy solves exam even before time was up" headlines, I turned in my exam and walked away, wasting at least 2 hours of precious time that I could have improved my score with. Even if I had sat down, thought, and worked hard on the problems throughout the whole 270 minutes and still gotten a 0, it would've been better. I did an awful thing. This is what I feel most ashamed of in my life, and I'm terribly sorry. I beg forgiveness of the people who trusted me to do my best - I failed you. (This last one wasn't so short, but it was important. Sorry...)

Shouting out to the world!

Crossroads

With my scholarships rejected and free to make my own decisions, these past weeks I've been struggling to choose a path. I have so many options in front of me - which one do I really wish to do?

1. Abacus practice: More of a commitment to someone else than my real wish... still keeps me anchored here in Guatemala... do I really want to keep on doing this? I'm starting to think I'm doing it more for Kira than for myself.
2. Travel: My dream adventure. Dream Life. Going to unknown places, taking jobs like bartender and window-washer, meeting new people, new cultures, learning new languages, eventually becoming a true global citizen... cool, huh? The COOLEST! Of course, I'd probably have to suspend any kind of stable job related to my career. But isn't Life for the taking? To enjoy every single moment, starting NOW? I feel like I'm just one step away from taking this option. Very, very tempting.
3. Arts, linguistics & gymnastics: I'd LOVE to sing like Pavarotti, play the piano like Mozart, paint like Picasso, write like J.K. Rowling, play a violin virtuoso, speak, read, write, and understand 15 different languages fluently, and run and jump like David Belle. Can I do it all? I'm sure I can. Am I willing to let my life slip by while I master each of these wonderful talents? I don't know.
4. Stable, prosperous, routinary life: Probably my worst fear. 8-5 jobs are OUT OF THE QUESTION. It may sound awful or ungrateful, but I think I'd rather travel and beg than be trapped inside such a gray life. I could POSSIBLY take a temporary 1-3 month job to earn enough money for a project or something, but basing my life on a job is NOT my idea of a decent Life.
   
5. Inner, spiritual search: I'm sure this can be combined with any of the previous options, but I'm afraid I don't have the proper discipline of mind to permanently follow two goals at a time. "He who chases two rabbits catches neither". Maybe Travel is the most compatible option to follow together with this one. Hmmm, I'm starting to discern a good option here...
   
6. Personal inventions: I believe to be inventive. I like to imagine and design new stuff all the time - stuff that would probably make our lives much easier. Now, developing inventions takes time and resources. Probably 24/7 to make them right. Probably the second-best option after Travel, I'm already thinking on people to contact to create these inventions with.
7. Scholarships: Even with 5 scholarship rejections so far this year, I believe I have good chances to get a Ph.D. scholarship somewhere. A contact at UCF has even told me that I have a GUARANTEED CS Ph.D. offer at UCF if I were to apply. Now, is that what I REALLY want? ANOTHER 4-6 years of STUDYING? Hmmmm... I don't think so. The period of sacrifices in my Life is temporarily suspended - I'm cashing in rewards now!
   

So... I believe these to be my current options. I want to choose quickly. Why don't I? Abacus? Is that the only reason? Ugh. I'm going to have a serious talk with Kira soon. :S I hope we can come to a mutually beneficial arrangement.

A JPEG is worth 2^10 TXT files

Having been a negligent blogger for three months puts me in trouble. How am I supposed to tell a quarter of a year of my life in detail when whole books could be (and have been) made about only a few days of events?

My somewhat satisfactory answer: visual expression. Images. JPEGs.

Picture 1: Green car at CALUSAC

I post this picture for several reasons:

1) I LOVE the car's color
2) It was taken in CALUSAC's parking lot, where I took mandarin and japanese language classes for approx. 2 months.
3) It was taken exactly one day after Andrea and I exchanged our first like & love phrases on the phone, my first real affectionate relationship.June 12th, 2007


Picture 2: Panama Bracelet

This was Andrea's gift to me, which I still wear with pride. I was amazed when she told me I could shower with it. I have never taken it off since.
This was also the day of a strong tremor, and when Andrea's parents began to strongly suspect an affectionate relationship between Andrea and me.June 13th, 2007






Picture 3: Hand cast & nail removal

I've already posted this one, but I like it so much that I posted it again. I had broken my hand about a month before doing a forward flip at my gymnastics class. This picture shows my uncovered left wrist and one of the two surgical nails driven into my skin, sinew, and bones. It was taken just before the doctor yanked both nails out of me with his bare hands. Pretty, isn't it?

June 21st, 2007





Picture 4: Andrea & I

One of the only three pictures we have together. Andrea invited me to a series of christian concerts at her church, where we talked for hours on end and shared our deepest thoughts and feelings. One of the happiest days I remember.

June 27th, 2007








Picture 5: Pacaya horse ride

My cousin Lorena and her recently-acquired Illinois husband Mike visited Guatemala on the last week of June and decided to take a Saturday trip to the continuously erupting Pacaya volcano. As a volcano regular, Elisa was put in charge of organizing and guiding the whole night trip to see the red-hot rivers of lava above. People present: my mom, my uncle, my aunt, my little cousin Anita, my married cousin Lorena, her husband Mike, Elisa and I.
Picture shows Anita riding one of the four rented horses before setting off.

June 30th, 2007




Picture 6: Fidel & Lola

I was not even AROUND when this picture was taken, but it's the closest I can manage to fill the gap. This picture represents the preamble to my LA impromptu trip (I decided to take the trip in less than three days).
It is a picture of both of Tatiana's and Sofia's male bulldogs (I got to meet them afterwards, they're nice). Tatiana made my LA impromptu trip possible by lending me her unused Hollywood apartment for almost a week. Dear Tatiana, thank you so very much.somewhen before June 29th, 2007 @ 10:41PM




Picture 7: Fateful Hollywood Studio

A casually-met MSN friend, a little online interaction, and several beautiful timely fortunes of Fate allowed me and my mom to take an impromptu trip to LA and Seattle. I stayed at this borrowed apartment for 5 whole nights, where I shared some of the most fantastic experiences of my life. Twice.
Everything is possible.

July 14th, 2007






Picture 8: Inside RHF with SLT @LA

SLT and I's frequent trips inside RHF ended with her taking this dark, large-teethed picture of me wearing her sunglasses just minutes before I walked away from her, at a BK parking lot. As you can see, happiness flowed affluently within me at the time. Many goodbye kisses and caresses followed this picture.

July 14th, 2007

Picture 9: Naturally Seattle

The main official reason my mom and I took our USA impromptu trip was to visit this picture's leftmost participant - Genevieve, my mom's half-sister's ex-husband's mother - in Seattle, WA. I had not seen her since I was one (year old). Having just become 91, Genevieve is a funny, loving frenchwoman living peacefully in the most peaceful, green, nature-loving, water-related, heart-warming, and beautiful city I have EVER known.
I want to live there.

July 19th, 2007

Picture 10: Mummy man

Back in Guatemala, almost one month after returning from my LA impromptu trip, I substituted my cousin Joel as an english teacher at CCI (Colegio Cientifico Integrado), a school conveniently placed on the same side of the city as my house.
I got paid Q700 for supervising students during the whole exam week, during whose Friday the school's teachers took a fun training course. Its outdoor activity was to make teams, wrap one of the team members with toilet paper as shown (not me), place three wooden sticks under him, and race through the basketball court carrying the mummy on the sticks. Fun activity - thanks to the Santillana guys who gave us the course.

August 10th, 2007


Picture 11: Antigua breakfast

Just hours after my mummy activity, my mom told me to deliver my sister's civil wedding dress to Antigua. Unexpected but very enticing, I packed up my dress clothes for the next day's wedding and happily drove off. I got lost looking for her hotel (Posada de Don Luis), but I finally found it, redressed in the hotel room, told the hotel manager I was leaving, and walked to Casbah disco-bar. I payed Q30, drank a Cuba Libre, and danced alone to happy trance for about 90 minutes. Next morning I had pancakes and coffee for breakfast at the hotel with my sister and her then-fianceé.August 11th, 2007




Picture 12: Antigua weddingA late-waking bride, a slow hairdresser, and a tardy family built up to a late and quite disorganized wedding celebration. Even the priest was half an hour late. Is this normal?
After the late groom entered the church, wedding music made the bride walk down the cathedral aisle with mom & dad. Halfway they noticed the priest was missing, so they stopped walking and just stood there for at least 10 minutes, smiling awkwardly and trying to avoid attention. They weren't very successful.During those 10 minutes, August 11th, 2007


Picture 13: Pretty fountain plaza
"Capuchinas" is the common name for the ruins where the wedding party took place. Colonial style architecture surrounded the guests, which included pe_morales & mom, Alicia's friends, Don Robert de la Rose, our life-neighbor Doña Rosita's family, distant family, close family, the unknown groom-side guests, and me. Don Roberto de la Rosa showed me a very interesting underground toroid-shaped room, and I played tag, hide and seek, chibiricuarta, and swing-around with the cute children guests ALL afternoon. DEFINITELY had more fun that I did at Casbah the previous night.

August 11th, 2007




Picture 14: Family reunion
Alicia's wedding brought our family close together again. My dad and three youngest siblings flew from Chicago, my oldest brother from Austin, and we were all reunited once again at our dear house here in San Cristóbal. Though it was less than a week, being together again was very, very nice. Above all, we're still one big happy family. Kudos to the photographer, who also played the part of the center photographee.

August 15th, 2007




Picture 15: Partido Patriota
(WARNING: I AM NOT AFFILIATED WITH THIS PARTY OR DO I AGREE WITH ITS POLICIES. I just worked for it)
I began freelancing applications with the PP project, which required a multi-user application that would allow the entry of many people and their distribution between voting centers, zones, and administration personnel. What started out as a simple application became a version 2, then 2.5, stressful development 24-hour shifts, and four full days of technical support so as to cope with the hurries of the national elections.
Initially a frustrating experience for a developer, seeing the functional application in action and in service was quite rewarding. The money was nice too (though I charged cheap :S).





Picture 16: Ministry of Sound

I know, bad picture, bad lighting. But what do you expect from a K310 cellphone at a night trance concert inside a hangar? If you knew them, you would recognize Marcelo's and Fily's silhouettes on the right and left, respectively.
I had just finished a hard-working day of PP freelancing when I was reminded of this big concert. 9PM, I had no ticket, no money, and no suitable clothing for a concert. 10:30, I was smelling marihuana and swaying my body to a blithe trance rhythm in an unbuttoned, inside-out dress shirt, thanks to my friends' borrowed money and fun company.August 31st, 2007



Picture 17: Cutie Kitty Cat

Have you EVER seen such an ADORABLE little kitty???? A month old at the time, this kitty cat is either the 58th, 59th, or 60th oldest child of my cousin's cat, Mishi, sometimes referred to as the Super Cat Matriarch. It almost fit in my hand and emitted the dearest, most high-pitched, heart-melting "meow" I have EVER heard.

September 2nd, 2007






Picture 17A: Super Cat Matriarch

I couldn't just mention the highly-respected Super Cat Matriarch without posting her honorable image in my humble blog. She's pretty much responsible for at least half the cat's population in Zone 1. The veritable root of the Mishi family.
With all due respect, I've known her since she was a kitty, and I love her very much.
Here we have her looking at me with her magnificent WHAT-THE-HECK-DO-YOU-WANT face.

September 2nd, 2007




Picture 18: Mimi's Kitchen

Mimi invited me over to her house while she was out for the weekend. Sunday afternoon, I took my abacus stuff and went to her house to be alone for a few hours and practice my arithmetical exercises. While in her kitchen looking for coffee, I found this funny little sign on her wall. I doubt you don't know Spanish, so laugh if you like it too. :)

September 16th, 2007





Picture 19: Wicho's Party

He's not Wicho. He's Kenny. See Kenny smile. Smile, Kenny, smile. See Kenny smile. I don't have Wicho's picture, so he'll have to do. :P
Both Wicho and Kenny are old high school friends, and Wicho's birthday is on September the 24th. So he invited us to eat, drink, and enjoy his house party last Saturday. We ate pizza, drank alcoholic stuff (not too much for me, just the peer-pressured 2 and a half glasses of rum & soda), and caught up on old school memories. Kenny's such a funny guy.

September 22nd, 2007




Picture 19A: Wicho's Party: The Sequel

What? Another complementary picture? Well, he's not Wicho either. He's Pato. See Pato toast. Toast, Pato, toast. See Pato toast.
Also an old high school friend, Pato had never before tasted beer before, so this picture represents his adoption of a popular, though rather dangerous habit: alcohol.
(I didn't want to post this one because it's so badly-lit, but a joyful expression such as his should not be hidden).

September 22nd, 2007


Picture 20: Infected Mushroom

PSYCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Excellent timing and enough money brought Fily, Marcelo, Bidkar, Jose, and me together for the Infected Mushroom concert on Saturday at the Village School. Man, if I could only tell the whole story!! Jose had just come back from a trip, Marcelo was just about to go on one, and Fily had just gotten a new job. It was time to party!! Hours after Wicho's party, all five of us got into the Filymobile and drove all the way to Km25, Carretera al Salvador. It was pouring, it was dark, we got lost, but we finally made it. Once inside, trance music got hold of me and rocked me around like a mad puppet. I danced ALL night from 9PM to 2AM. I danced so much - I jumped, I swayed, I flailed my arms, I punched the air, I swished my hair around, I annoyed some people around me, I pumped energy into other more tolerant ones, I found some glowsticks, I threw them around, I shouted, I screamed, I twirled, I skipped, I hopped, I found a can of Adrenaline Rush and drank it, I found a can of 7Up and drank it, I found two bottles of water and drank them. I jumped and punched so hard and high that I got a cramp in my right leg and my wrists and neck STILL hurt. I was away from my friends most of the time, mostly because I liked to keep on skipping and dancing in different places all the time.
I also found some acquaintances at the concert (Ricardo Morales, Ates Arevalo, Cebo, and Porfirio (shown in picture), high school classmates; Allan Ardon, former Ecosol partner; Mosko & DL, former college classmates).
The actual Infected Mushroom DJs played only from 0010 to 0200 hours, and though the music was slower than it should've been, I guess it was OK.

So...... I think that's it. Today, on september the 24th, I should've worked on my freelancing applications, but instead, I wrote this large blog entry. My first photoblog entry. Cool, huh?

Whew! Managed to keep up! Oh well, I guess that's it then. I hope to update it frequently enough from now on so as to fit more detail and my insights into it. As for now, BYE!

Gotta get started

I am ashamed of myself of having suspended my blogging for SUCH A LONG PERIOD OF TIME. My last officially published blog entry is "Kiss", after which my life's main events and aspects were blurred with the taint of secrecy and I reluctantly suspended my public blogging.

Well, no more. I wish to write. I wish to express my opinion publicly, I wish to tell my stories as I see them. As minuscule as this small blog may seem, I hold hope that it may influence fellow human beings in a way. A positive way (positive for me, which is really MY way). After all, expression is THE way in which we influence the world.

So no detail this time. Only this vague little stub to leave me piqued for next entry. I have so much to tell, and sadly, I don't think I'll catch up with everything. But I'll try.

Sincerely,
Antonio Juarez

Good day for a Blog

Good evening Blog. I write to you in relationship with the recent events and happenings in my life.
I know I have not written to you in a very long time, and I am deeply sorry for having abandoned you for so long.

As you know, however, some of my recent accomplishments are not yet open to the public, and so must remain, in the meanwhile, in silence.

So as not to lose the continuity of my records, I'll start off where my life's events begin to lose their state of secrecy - the final days of July and the beginning ones of August. I'll have to move quickly through time - please forgive me if my description lacks detail (and if it has too much, as well) :)

I came back to Guatemala on July the 25th with my mom, and came back home. After our impromptu trip, the main subject on many of my family members' minds was my sister's upcoming wedding. Alicia, my younger 19-year old sister, was to be married on Saturday, wAugust the 11th. With my family members scattered across the continent, this occasion managed to bring us all back together again. My brother Marcos, my dad, and my brother Pedro all came several days before the wedding. My sister Isabel, who had been in Yale University, was last - she came the day before the wedding on the afternoon. It was a little strange to have the complete family reunited again, but nobody made such a big fuss about it. I gave them all welcome hugs and everything when they came.

Some of my family members have changed a little. Isabel, the 16-year old (now 17) is definitely having a positive change in her life. As compared to two years ago, her self-confidence is now bursting and growing very healthily, and she seems to be perpetually happy. She has also developed a more curvacious and attractive body, and seems to have slightly forgotten some of the more sophisticated words in Spanish, which she almost unconsciously replaces with the equivalent words in English. Pedro, however, showed the most drastic change. The last time I saw him, he was beginning to stretch upwards and his voice was noticeably hoarse. When he came for the wedding, however, I was a little shocked to see him. He is now only a little lower than me, his body is definitely shaping up, and his voice is even more masculine - almost as deep as mine. Everyone mentioned his quick transition from boy to... well... adolescent. (He's still only 13).

Just the night before the wedding, my sister and her soon-to-be-husband slept in the same hotel at Antigua (not in the same room, in case you're thinking what I thought when I found out...) That night, I was comfortably chatting and typing on my computer in my room when I was asked by my mom to do her an unusual favor: take one of the dresses my sister Alicia was to wear the next day to her hotel in Antigua, and stay there for the night. I was only too glad to do so - it was Friday night, and you can ask anyone and they'll tell you that Antigua is quite the party center.

So about an hour later, I was leaving for Antigua with my dress shirt and suit in the car, along with my sister's wedding dress. I had a bit of a hard time finding the hotel, but I finally got there. It was conveniently placed only a few blocks from the famous disco "La Casbah". I met with my sister, placed my stuff inside the room, told her I was going out, and left for "La Casbah". I paid Q30 to get inside, sat on the bar, ordered a free Cuba Libre included with the ticket, and slowly drank it while observing the surrounding female movement. Though attractive, the specimens seemed to always be accompanied by males, which made it unconvenient for me to make a move. After a while, lured by the trance music, I stepped onto the dancefloor and began moving and sliding as I best felt I could without hitting the surrounding dancing people. I tried to establish conversation with a couple of VERY ATTRACTIVE British girls, but they simply ignored me. I decided not to care too much about them - I just listened to the music and danced the rest of the night. I only spent about an hour dancing, but it was pretty cool. I then went back to the hotel room, with Q30 less and with much more musical relief.

The next day, the wedding day, was a series of protocolary,

*****CUT OFF BY BLOGGER NEGLIGENCE*****

Sex, Lies, and Family

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

I haven't posted anything in so much time now... this next entry is going to be HUUUUUUUUGEEEEEEEE. Either that, or it's going to miss many important parts of my events. Most probably both.

And I'm even more sorry because these events were quite unique, and the immediate feelings and thoughts they once evoked are now old and faded. :( Impromptu trips to the US, meeting far-away but very cool distant relatives, suddenly finding several members of the female community who like me, notable numerology and astrology synchronisms with reality, my family reunion, my sister's wedding, and my first few encounters with sex are not things that happen every day.

A warning, though, to the people who read this entry. My absence of blogging during this time was not purely coincidental - it was my intention to keep some information secret, unknown to several people. I don't really mind describing my life in full detail to everyone who will read it, but when people I care about may be negatively influenced by my sincere opinions, thoughts, and feelings, I avoid posting those particular statements.

But now I realized that honesty is more important. I once came to the conclusion that Honesty is one of the most important values, and determined myself to follow it as my key virtue. So I will expose myself with complete honesty here, adhering to my own thoughts and opinions, embracing truth, even if it borders on cynicism at times. So, again, a warning to those whom I may offend (and you will probably know who you are) - this entry will reflect the bare truth, and I deeply apologize for how disparately this truth may diverge from what I have told you during these two months. And if any person justifiably wishes me to censor some parts of this entry, I will gladly do so.

I guess I should just start where I left off: Andrea. Andrea, Andrea, Andrea. My first requited romantic love. My first real kiss. My first encounter with real sexual activities. The first person I trusted so much as to tell her everything, everything, absolutely everything inside of me. She was (is?) definitely my first girlfriend.

Again, I'm sorry I didn't post my experiences while they occurred - feelings won't come out as purely or precisely now. Still, I will try my best.

(Taken from unpublished "Sex Stories" entry) "Remember the "Tremor yesterday" entry? Probably not. Well, that entry mentioned that I had met an incredible girl two weeks ago and had lost her the day of the tremor. This girl is Andrea, my cousin's 15-year old daughter - a most amazing, energetic, creative, cute, outstanding, incredible girl with whom I have many things in common."

I met Andrea while helping her on her Physics and Spanish classes from school. I had just broken my left hand and had surgery on it a few days ago when I was, out of nowhere, asked by her mom to help her out with school. So for a couple of weeks I gladly tutored her, and when I found out what a cool girl she was, I found myself befriending her quite fondly.

It did surprise me though, when one day, June the 11th, she called me from the beach at her lakehouse just to talk to me. I mean, I really enjoyed her company and conversation, but she was a little more friendly than usual, and I REALLY didn't expect what happened next.

After the usual distracting chit-chat, we began to play Truth or Dare on the phone. Except there was no Dare, so it was really just Truth. We asked and answered some sexual questions at first, and then moved on to questions about lighter love relationships. Til this point, I honestly still thought it was all just playful chat, so I went along with it. But when she hesitated several times to tell me the name of the guy she liked, I got suspicious.

Oh well, I could tell this the long way, but in short, she told me she liked me (Likes me as in "has a crush on me"). I was a little shocked. :O I had NEVER been in a similar situation before, so I naturally didn't know what to do. My mind began racing: "WHAT DO I DO?? WHAT DO I DO?? WHAT DO I SAY?????? She just poured her heart out to me and... well not really her heart but still... WOW! Should I tell her the same? I mean, she IS pretty and my closest female friend right now... but... she's 8 years younger! And my cousin's daughter! And I'm supposed to TUTOR her, not SEDUCE HER!!! But isn't this what I've been wishing for so many years? A girl who likes me as a boy/man/whatever!? I can't tell her I don't like her - it'd be AWFUL for her! And anyway, I DO like her..." In the end, I made up my mind, and the amazingly long awkward silence that ensued while I thought all of this was followed by my telling her that I liked her too.

Two days later, June the 13th, my pretty girl Andrea invited me over to her house to "watch movies". We spent ALL day together in her house - first listening to music, then watching a couple of movies, and finally in her room at night. As our mutual liking was now no secret, we got on a little differently. We spent more time touching and hugging than anything else, but I still wasn't ready for "the kiss". I had NEVER kissed anyone's lips before - I literally trembled at the thought. Andrea kept hinting me to kiss her all day, but I, uninitiated lover, couldn't easily bring myself to achieve such a task. She even playfully bit my lower lip, but all I did was freeze and stare at her doing it. I was, sincerely, too afraid to kiss her at the time.

That very night we talked on the phone for about 2 hours. She laughed at me for not having taken such obvious chances to kiss her that day, while I justified myself with my nil experience on the subject. Unfortunately, her mom caught her on the phone at 1AM. When she noticed it was me she was talking to, she burst out with anger, "confiscated" her cellphone, and told her she would never see me again (she was already suspicious about our more-than-friendly behavior together).

When Andrea told me what had happened last night, I slumped. Even though we hadn't kissed at all the previous day, she was, at the time, the most important person in my life. I had shared all of my secrets with her and she had done so with me - I trusted her from the bottom of my soul. I was extremely sad with the idea of not seeing her again, and I said so in my "Tremor Yesterday" entry, written that very day, June the 14th.

During the next few days, Andrea and I talked by phone and by MSN, exchanging sweet "I love you's" and "we should've kissed" regrets. Then next week, almost by magic, Andrea convinced her parents to let her go to the movies with me on Friday! I was ecstatic with the news. A whole afternoon, left to ourselves, inside the movies! The world turned upside for me for the better! And it so happened that I had the cast from my hand removed on Thursday, so I'd be using a newly-restored hand on my first real date with her.

So on Friday, my sister took me to pick Andrea up at her parents' office, and then took us to the Miraflores movie theater. While we were outside, we acted like playful friends - we touched, pushed, and hugged each other playfully, but the fear of meeting someone that knew us was too much. However, when we were together in the dark watching Shrek 3, it all just happened. My hand moved to her leg, she did the same, we looked, we consented with only our looks, and then slowly, very slowly, moved our faces toward each other. I was trembling like mad - I could hear my irregular breathing and felt light-headed already. And then in a moment, holding on to her leg with my weak hand, our lips touched and we kissed.

I wouldn't describe the initial sensation as magical, or like sparks flying everywhere. My stomach was churning and I did tremble as if high on caffeine, but the actual kiss was not out of this world or whatever. It was soft, for her lips were smooth and gentle, exploring and curious of this new kisser of hers. It was warm, for our breathing reached each other with each nervous exhalation. And it was wet, obviously, because our lips and mouth were moist. Although at first I tried to perceive this new experience objectively, it wasn't long until I got lost in the turmoil of my own feelings, such as:

"WOW!!! WOOOW!!! I'm doing it! I'm actually doing it!!! OK, self-esteem, you got a really nice treat today!! Hmmm, I wonder if I'm doing it right? They say there are good kissers and bad kissers... what am I? There's also strong and gentle... what should I be? Hmmmm, not strong... it COULD get out of hand and I don't want to seem like a lusty rapist. So yep, gentle's OK. Maybe she'd like a little thigh-squeezing? Ooooh, her breathing jumped! Yep, she liked that! OK now, lips... mine are trembling!! I don't know what to do... what do I do? Pretend to eat her? Bite her? Lick her? Just idotically gape in front of her so she can teach me? It feels so weird... I guess I'll just do whatever she's doing, and if I'm blamed for not taking the initiative I'll say I was just being gentle hehe :P"

As I said, her kiss was both soft and sweet. She went little by little, exploring bits of my mouth before moving in deeper. Her tongue lightly licked my lips, which sent shudders of excitement through my whole body, before moving on to gently caressing my tongue. I'll remember that moment forever, I'm quite sure. I could tell she wasn't too satisfied with the experience because she backed away from time to time, but I was curious, thrilled with this new excitement, and always moved my face back to hers to urge her to show me more. It was also the first time I didn't care about missing out some parts of the movie. Shrek 3 was very low on my priorities at that time, even as it glared right in front of us.

Minutes later, we exited the movie theater side by side - no hands touching, no arms hugging, no lips kissing, no eyes searching for the other's. We walked as spies in a covert mission, paranoid that someone might recognize us. A little later, Andrea told me what I was dying to hear: my kissing evaluation. She was honest. "You definitely don't know how to kiss. Maybe you'll learn quickly if you're a good apprentice, but for now, you suck at it".

Amazingly enough (I still don't know how she did it), the very next day she convinced her parents to invite me to church on sunday with them. So I went and we made the "cute friends act" in front of her parents, but of course we couldn't show the least sign of further affection. Apparently we did a good job at disguising our real relationship, since that very day, Andrea's mother herself came up with the idea of Andrea inviting me to a three-day, youth-only christian concert.

So after a few days of wild anticipation, Wednesday June the 27th arrived, and we met at the concert area at 2PM. Our behavior was awkward at first, stealing looks from each other, figuring out what the other was thinking, lightly touching each other without knowing how far to touch. But gradually it all came back... she held my hand, I put my arm around her, she tickled me, I grabbed her by her sides, we hugged, caressed our cheeks and finally kissed again. We firmly locked on to each other and had a much better kiss than on friday, now that I was actually involved in the kissing and licking process. After the kiss I asked "better?", she gave me a teasing look and laughed "you're getting better", with this sweet grin on her face.

We kissed all afternoon. We kissed inside the concert, outside the concert, and in the big parking lot in front of the church. Even now I was still trying to keep our relationship a little friendly and courteous, avoiding what I thought could be a purely lusty, sexual love, so I made up conversation topics all of a sudden and showed impromptu, though sincere interest in her life. But little by little our kisses were getting to me, each time better, tastier, deeper even. French kissing just followed so naturally that we didn't even think about it. And so we spent our afternoon, exploring each other's thoughts and mouths.

Then nightfall came, and the concert moved on to a larger, more comfortable hall, with benches arranged in concentric semi circles around the main stage. Andrea and I found a nice lone bench near the back of the audience, hidden from most observers by a wide stone column. We both knew what we were up to, so no sooner had the lights gone out than we began kissing each other and fondling each other's bodies. She began caressing my legs on an area dangerously near my crotch, so I replied with equal lust. Our kisses were strong and passionate, though her lips were always soft. By this time it had finally sunk in that she actually desired me, so my confidence rose - I took her breast in my hand and squeezed it, rubbed my hand around her crotch a little harder, and explored her mouth further with my lips and tongue. She replied with rubbing my bare back under my shirt and playfully grabbing my crotch. And then I knew: "OK, she wants it ALL :O".

Around us the concert music boomed and the christian crowd shouted, but the noisy setting only aroused us further. I took her hand with mine while kissing, and I noticed we were sweating all around - even her smell was different - she let out a spicy, stomach-turning, very arousing aroma now. Things were getting wilder by the minute, so we decided to move on to a more private place. We walked out quietly to the bathrooms, but saw they were too full. So we walked outside the building and to the back, holding hands all the while. We found a small parking lot where we kissed, but the area was still too open, so we moved on. Rounding the building, we found a narrow raised corridor with wooden doors on the sides that led directly to the concert hall. One of them had a nice deep threshold, so we got inside and grabbed each other again.

Our mouths went together and locked like magnets. At this time I was literally devouring her, and I just couldn't get enough of her kisses and warm loving breath - they were positively addictive. Our hands explored each other's bodies with passion and desire, but also so naturally. It was a wonderful feeling. I rubbed her bare back, feeling her warm and sweaty, and she did the same. Squeezing her breasts, rubbing her sides, I found my hands directly around her bare waist right above her jeans. I experienced a brief mental conflict in which I decided to dive in, and so my hands did. Beneath her jeans, underneath her panties my hands went, where they cupped the smoothest, softest, most delightful mass of skin and flesh I had ever felt. I began to squeeze and scratch her bottom cheeks rhythmically, knowing that her pleasure would increase. And SO it did. She began moaning right in front of me while kissing, and I was only more turned on by her moans, so I squeezed and touched her harder and faster.

Then she began to move her body in another way. As I squeezed her glutes, she pushed them towards my body along with her hips and legs, and her jeans rubbed my khakis precisely over our "pretty organs". I should mention that I had a full erection by that time. Her sudden movement lit my instinctive spark and it exploded, and my hips suddenly jerked all by themselves back to hers, pushing her to the wooden door behind her. And then we both understood, and just went with the flow. Our lips and tongues were busy wrestling with each other, sparking erotic signals all around our bodies. This made our hands grasp tighter to each other's buttocks and waists, reinforcing the newly-discovered swaying of the hips. My mind was blank by this time - my focus was set on giving my partner the most pleasure she had ever felt through her whole body and on keeping a steady rhythm with our hips, lips, tongue, and hands. Sex is truly an art.

My pleasure was peaking in more aspects than just physical. Although we were sweating, moaning, and grinding each other sex-crazedly, we still had all of our clothes on, so technical dangers of unwanted reproduction or messy clothes were almost nil. I couldn't tell exactly how long did we make love to each other under that wooden door's threshold, but I'd estimate between 30 and 40 minutes. A couple of noises under the corridor scared us, and we stopped. We looked at each other, asking each other if it was all right to continue, and then her hands went down to my crotch. She gave me this sweet, sexy, malicious grin, and began to squeeze and fondle my "pipe" slow and hard, unbuckling my belt with her other hand. Her look was quizzical, as if asking me permission to move on. My body went crazy with joy at this gift of pleasure she was offering, but my mind differed. I reasonably thought that one piece of clothing off would eventually lead to all pieces of clothing off, and I wasn't sure if I was ready to have my first real sex session on a concrete floor and with the danger of being caught. My mind decided to let her decide: it projected joyful amazement, pleasure, fear, and the feeling of "as long as you're fine with it, go ahead, I'll be more than happy to help you."

But she noticed my fear, so she stopped her unbuckling and just hugged me tight, rubbing our crotches together again. Our kissing went on for a little while longer, but then we went back to the concert and to the shouting crowds. Since then until 9PM, we just kissed a couple of times and waited for her parents to pick her up. They did, and I drove back home, amazed at this new experience I had been fortunate enough to have shared with a girl that I cared about so much.

Thursday afternoon came, and we met at the concert area again. All we could think and talk about was last night. "It all came out so naturally, I wasn't even thinking!!" "What do you think of my kisses now, huh?" "Ooohhh, they're getting better", she said while she winked at me. We decided not to do anything sexual that day, so that her parents would notice nothing and let us be together on friday, on the last night.

Oh weak pact! Our mutual anti-sexual agreement was quickly broken. All it took was a smile from me, an inviting grin from her, and a new touch of our lips. I swear our lips acted like magnets - they stuck to each other like dear life. Her kisses were no less sweeter this time, but we had crossed the threshold - kisses were not enough anymore. Just a couple of hours later we went into my car, locked it, and kissed each other there. She was on the passenger seat and I on the driver's, and as we kissed we moved together closer. I moved on top of her and kissed her more, rubbing her body as I did. She was definitely curious as to my genitals, for her hand quickly slided down my belly, belt and underwear right there. If I wasn't hard enough at that time, her hand surely did the trick. I had never ever felt another person's touch on my erect member before, and it was definitely something to remember. She wrapped it with her hand, stroked and squeezed it, and each movement she made only made my hands and kisses stronger on her. Even with so much pleasure going on inside me, my hand also found her way down her pants and reached her hairy entrance. My fingers explored her female genitals, and one of them adventured deep inside of her. Soft, slick, and mushy - that's how I'd describe the feeling. She moaned quite louder when I did so, and it made her want to change positions, and get down to the real thing.

We moved to the Acura's back seat, which infortunately has a hard plastic bulge where the middle seat should be. Nevertheless, she laid me down on my back and she came on top of me, and began rubbing her crotch with mine. I replied by fondling and squeezing her breasts, rubbing them teasingly with my fingers. Though the rubbing was pleasant, the position was not, and I'll honestly say that I didn't like the rubbing nearly as much as last night's. We were all the time scared that someone might see her jerking buttocks right across the car's transparent windows, so after a while we stopped and walked around the parking lot again. Night fell again, and just like last night, we found a private place for ourselves. This time it was behind the bushes, but it was not nearly as comfortable as last night's. We both agreed on it, and did the best we could with it. It was still very passionate and romantic. We had created a strong bond between us already. Unfortunately for our sexual desire, her mother caught us holding hands in the parking lot, and she immediately knew for sure what Andrea and I felt for each other. She was not pleased with the idea, and she drove away with her husband and daughter with only a bare "good night" to me.

The next day Andrea told me what had happened - she was getting the worst part out of the deal. Her mother was mad with anger at her for having chosen me as her boyfriend. "Why couldn't it be any of the people with whom you are NOT blood-related with?" She denied everything... she said we had NOT been holding hands and that she probably saw that because it was dark and we were close together. Of course, her mother did not believe her, and she forbid her from seeing me ever again. Friday the 29th was sad for me, again thinking I would not see her again for a long time. But then things changed so unexpectedly...

An extra short comment now. During these days, I remembered something I had mentioned in one of my chats with DD. DD and I talk about almost anything in a most honest and analytical manner, and according to my chat records, the night of June the 6th, we talked about love relationships with a large age difference, and love relationships between members of the same family. Discussing it, we both agreed that we both did not see anything wrong with either of these relationships, as long as both parties agreed to it. Isn't it weird that just 5 days later, the next time I talked to Andrea, we expressed to each other that we liked each other? And how it all evolved after that? I'm confident that I somehow expressed my permission to Fate to hook me up with girls of that kind that we described in that chat. And so Fate did and put Andrea right in front of me... curious, huh?

I don't know if I have mentioned it, but I like to socialize on the net. I know people in Germany, Peru, Bolivia, the States, Turkey, Malaysia, besides all my local acquaintances. One female contact in particular, SLT from Los Angeles, I met, curiously, precisely on the night after Andrea first bit my lips, on June the 13th, through a social photo zite called Zorpia (http://www.zorpia.com). She had a bunch of sexy and artistic pictures of herself and was a famous member of the site. I began conversation with her complimenting her on her long, straight, black hair. She answered positively, and after a few days, we were chatting on MSN on a daily basis. I really enjoyed talking to her - we shared many tastes and thoughts and we both had a very similar view on life: non-conformist and full of possibilities.

On Friday June the 29th, precisely the day that I did not go to the last concert day with Andrea with, I logged on to MSN early and began chatting with SLT. We had already developed quite some trust and friendship between us, and we knew each other's thoughts well. She had this peculiar way of expressing some emotions; for example, when I teased her, she would say *pushes you playfully* or *giggles*, creating an imaginary set for us and our actions. I learned the trick pretty quickly, and was already an expert at *sticks tongue at you* and *throws popcorn at you*. But then that night SLT *took my hands* and *pushed me to the wall*, so I replied with *turning you back on the wall* and *moving closer to you*. Our virtual faces slowly but surely reached together until we virtually kissed. Virtual hugs and virtual kisses were followed by virtual body rubs and virtual neck sucks. Our innocent little game extended into a full 6-hour erotic MSN composition until 4 AM the next day which left us very sexually aroused, and which only the time urged us to leave on standby until next time.

Another short, appropriate note. That very same night, I found Tatiana, a girl I had not seen since we graduated from high school together, on MSN. I had not talked to her in years, literally, and suddenly she asked me for some help regarding her laptop and her MSN privacy. When I asked her how was her life going, she told she was living in Los Angeles (SLT too, coincidence??), and she practically INVITED ME to come over and visit her. :O Another brilliant move from Fate herself.

Yet ANOTHER (even shorter) note. Friday the 29th was also the last day to submit applications for a certain master's scholarship I was aiming for in Japan, which was also my last official activity at the time, so I was free from any official obligation whatsoever. ALSO, I had JUST YESTERDAY given a 3-week vacation from my japanese abacus classes.

On Saturday June the 30th, I met SLT again and after just a few lines of casual conversation, our virtual set was again heated up and filled with hugs, kisses, exploring, rubs, sucks, licks, crotches, nakedness, pleasure, and orgasms. On Sunday July the 1st, the same thing happened. Monday the 2nd, the same. Tuesday the 3rd, the same. Our sessions only got lustier and longer with time, and our vocabulary complemented each other for a nice mix of sweet, erotic, lusty, dirty, and intense. Thoughts of how strangely and wonderfully synchronized this was with my relationship with Andrea crossed my mind all the time. I had told SLT I had no girlfriend when we met, and it was sort of true, because all Andrea had done to me was bite my lips once. But though I knew better now, I didn't tell SLT that just days ago I had actually done most of what I virtually described doing with SLT.

And then that Tuesday, I received an email ad from Spirit Airlines. "CHEAP TICKETS TO LOS ANGELES FROM GUATEMALA! $76 ONE WAY, BASED ON ROUND-TRIP FARE!!!" (That's not exactly what it said, but it was the part I paid attention to, of course.

I decided that the good ol' Universe was conspiring for me to do something. Hmmm, I thought... with my scholarship application submitted, my vacation from abacus classes, two people to visit in LA, one of them sexually interested in me, my girlfriend indefinitely taken away from me, and cheap tickets to LA... well... the road was pretty clear! It also happened that my mom had been expressing her desire to visit a distant relative in Seattle, WA for several months now, and I took the chance. "Look mom! Cheap tickets to LA! You could easily take another plane or even a train to Seattle from there!!" My mom was piqued with interested in the idea, and pondered on it for a day. The offer expired on July the 4th (USA Independence Day), and my mom finally, hurriedly, made the decision to buy tickets for her and for me to Los Angeles, from Sunday July the 8th through July the 25th.

So it was done :O I was taking a trip now. With 3 days left to prepare, I told SLT I was going to visit her, I told Tatiana I was going to visit her, my mom told Genevieve (our distant relative) we were visiting her, and it was all set then. And then I thought "hmmm, I have an excuse to go see Andrea now... say goodbye!" So on the night before the trip, I went to her house and said goodbye. We watched "The Last Samurai" in the living room while her parents were around, and kissed each other on the couch when they weren't. After about an hour, I said goodbye to her and to her parents (we always kept a cordial, distant tone between us, hiding the obvious fear and dislike) And then we kissed passionately beside my car. She told me not to go have sex with other girls in Los Angeles, and I said "of course not". And that's the last time I've seen her since.

On the plane to LA, thoughts of guilt of cheating on Andrea crossed through my mind. I had full knowledge of what I was doing, yet I was doing it. Why? Well, Andrea was almost a lost case by now... I wasn't about to stand up to the family proclaiming Andrea as my true love just to keep her with me - it would've hurt her much more than it would've hurt me. So I looked for love in other people - was that bad? I even wrote a little while on my plane seat:

"On the plane. Thinking about secrets, love, affairs, and trips. About personal secrets, public secrets, and secret secrets. Few people know the whole picture.
And now I'm flying to LA to meet SLT, the Sexy Latin Tiger.
She's not the only reason to go to LA, but she's definitely the most compelling one. Sitting on the plane beside my mom, who officially knows none of my secrets, writing this helps clear up my mind."

My mom and I reached LA on the 9th at 1AM, and to my happy surprise, ANOTHER distant relative who lived in LA was there to pick us up! My mom had made some kind of miracle... she called Miguel Angel (the distant relative's name) and asked him if we could stay with him for a couple of days. However, he unexpectedly drove us to a Ramada hotel and paid 3 nights for both of us in a double-bed room. He also lent us his cellphone, and told us he would rent a car for us for the four days we would be spending with him. I was personally amazed at his generosity, considering the room cost $100 a night. But he did it happily and carefree, so at least I received it in the same way. My mom's another story. She barely enjoyed the room Miguel Angel had given us. She just kept saying "how embarrassing!! He's paying for such an expensive room! The room is actually more expensive than the trip we just bought!!" And she said this over and over and over again - thought her lamentations didn't really make the already-paid-for room any cheaper.

In the morning, I got up, dressed myself, hooked up my laptop (the one Isabel once gave me, the one which doesn't work without a power connection and whose screen flickers annoyingly) to the wall and to the internet, and looked up the meeting place SLT and I had designated on Google Maps (http://maps.google.com). Then I found the bus routes to get me there from where I was (http://metro.net), and planned my trip to meet her. My mom insisted on going with me, and since I had no right to deny her company, we went to downtown LA. All the while I texted SLT on the cellphone, telling her I was on my way. I also told her my mom was going with me, but that she wouldn't be staying long. We got to the designated Burger King and went inside. I called her and told her I was there, and then she came in. I saw her come in, recognize me, and smile.

In a second I ran an analysis of her. Her pictures had not lied at all. Her body was very good-looking - thin, curvacious, and covered in smooth, white skin. Her face had a sweet smile, and though I never told her, her nose was oddly shaped. She was much shorter than I expected, her head topping at my neck. But besides her nose and short stature, she looked quite beautiful. I could see she was going to pounce on me immediately, but my mom was just behind me, so I hurried and introduced the two of them. An awkward silence ensued after our presentation, so we ordered some food. SLT paid for all of it, and we sat down at a table. No sooner were we seated than SLT had my hand in hers, rubbing and caressing it lovingly. I was very flattered by her behavior and did the same with her, but my mom was there, and where my mom is, my behavior is as lively as a frozen fish.

So my mom and SLT began talking. And they talked and talked and talked. All the while, SLT and I pushed deeper into our palms with our fingers and rubbed sensously, telling each other that we were ready for what was coming. Ten or fifteen minutes later, my mom was courteously showed to the nearest bus stop she could take back to the hotel, and SLT and I went out into the parking lot into her red Mustang. I went inside and looked around - it was clean and orderly, and it had red tapestry all over the seats. A few awkward seconds passed in which we looked at each other across the car, smiling. And then she jumped on me. In one explosive instant, she took my head, pulled her face completely to mine, and kissed me very, very, VERY intensely. She was almost eating my mouth! Immediately I compared her kisses to Andrea's. I definitely liked Andrea's much more. SLT was intense, fiery, and a little too hurried - she only kissed french style, and her tongue was always stiff as my hard-on. Although arousing, I would've preferred starting with a gentle, loving kiss and build our way up from there. Oh well...

I then realized my position. I had traveled all the way to LA to visit this girl who was offering me sexual fulfillment, and what I did was the sole responsibility of my own self. No one would take over, it was no one else's business. It belonged only to SLT and me, to no other.

After about five minutes of kissing and caressing each other, we decided to move on to a more private place. I suggested the parking lot she used at her job, so there we went. We got there and drove to the fourth floor. Once there, we resumed kissing and rubbing each other's bodies. I could tell SLT was in a hurry. She suggested we move to the back seat, so back we went. Once there, she pinned me down on the seat, spread her legs around mine, and kissed me again. Keeping up with the intensity of her kisses, I heard her moan softly.

I didn't notice when she suddenly had her crotch on mine, and began rubbing against it. I had quite an erection at that time, so my tip managed to reach her pants and rub her crotch strongly enough. She quickly built up speed. Lifting her head back, she jerked her hips faster and faster on top of me. She looked wild and out of control, so I let her take the initiative and keep pumping me up. The car was rocking back and forth now - it was very noticeable. Feeling a little useless with my stationary hips, I used my hands to explore her body. Her skin was soft and sweaty, though it was not quite as smooth as I thought it would be, probably because of the sweat. My hands reached her chest and waited a little to go into her blouse, but I didn't have to. She noticed my intention and grinned at me sensously. Her hands reached her cleavage and pulled it down - I could now see one of her breasts completely. They were small, but still nice and feminine. I wasn't sure if I could give them much pleasure with my hands (there was not that much to squeeze), so I decided to take a kinkier approach and use my mouth.

That was the correct move. With each little suck I gave her she moaned "OH OH OH" and rubbed her crotch even faster on mine. The sucking was not really doing anything for me, though it felt really cool to be doing what I had so many times only heard or read about. Just like kissing, I suppose - a new sensation I'll probably come to like.

Our pants on didn't leave much room for real pleasure - our genitals were still cruelly trapped inside our clothes. I thought we were really going to go all the way when we started taking off each other's pants, but then a security guard appeared and told us to "please retire from the building". So after rearranging our clothes back on and moving into the front seats, we drove away. We then visited a few chinese shops downtown, and SLT bought me a nice ying-yang golden plaque that I now have hanging in my room. About an hour of talking, hugging, and kissing later, SLT decided it was late and she should go back home, lest her mother become suspicious.

I went back to the hotel with my mom and found her talking to Miguel Angel. They said they had been waiting for me to go have dinner. We went to Hometown Buffet, where I ate my taste and fill and chit-chatted with Miguel Angel and my mom. Miguel Angel really is a very agreeable and interesting person. I enjoyed every bit of time with him - especially when he told me stories about how he was such good friends with my dad and about his experiences while young (He is my dad's cousin). We then went to Hollywood, parked at a $10 parking lot, and walked through Hollywood Boulevard a couple of times, stopping at the Chinese Theater, and looking at the handprints and footprints of famous actors in front of it. There was also a new concrete plaque that had just been printed that very morning - the one with the actors of Harry Potter V on it. Aside from their body prints, they had also printed their wands on it, which must've surely caught many fans' attention. We walked through the Boulevard a couple of times, but after looking at about 500 famous actors' names, we naturally got bored and decided to go back to the hotel.

Tuesday, the next day, my mom and I began to think of how to get to Seattle from where we were. Well actually, my mom had already bought her Amtrak ticket for Thursday July the 12th, and it was I who still had no ticket to Seattle. After a couple of hours of googling and clicking on the laptop, I decided the cheapest and best way to go was by Greyhound bus - $192 roundtrip. Best of all, I could buy the ticket the moment I walked in the station - there was no need for anticipated buying. I wanted to spend as much time as possible with SLT (so as to explore sexual territories the most), so I just relaxed, told my mom I'd leave for Seattle on either next monday or tuesday, and that was it. That afternoon, I arranged to meet with Tatiana at a restaurant in Hollywood. Miguel Angel had kindly rented a car for us, and I decided to drive it. My mom, of course, accompanied me to meet Tatiana herself.

I took the same route Miguel Angel had taken last night on the freeway. It was my first time driving in the States, and I was driving on the freeway. That made me feel good. I took a wrong exit on the way to Hollywood, but other than that, we soon arrived at a Pizza Hut in Hollywood and called Tatiana to meet us there. She came on a blue little moped thingie with a big, round, black helmet on her head. When she took off her helmet, it was AMAZING how little had she changed. If she changed places with the girl I knew six years ago, nobody would know the difference. She was still the same VERY THIN, quite pretty, happy, jumpy, outspoken, disheveled, carefree girl I knew. I was never really intimate friends with her or anything, but we got along well. We hugged and noticed that the Pizza Hut place was closed, so we entered the adjacent Libanese restaurant and bought a couple of falafels with sauce and chicken. We ate while we caught up with our lives, and after about an hour of eating, talking, and laughing, she said goodbye and drove away on her moped.

I'll try not to go into much detail for the next days. Wednesday, we checked out of the hotel at noon. We spent all afternoon driving around, fruitlessly looking for cheaper motels in the area and shopping a bit. I then loaded our bags into our rented SUV and took it to the rental agency, where Miguel Angel met us and did the paperwork to turn the car in. We then visited Miguel Angel's son's family in Simi Valley, like 100 miles away :O I met Miguel Angel's son's girlfriend (they've been together like 15 years already), her 17-year old daughter Melissa and her boyfriend Brian. We talked a lot about Guatemala and how things were down here - they asked things like "Do you have McDonald's in Guatemala?" I patiently explained that Guatemala was just as commercialized, if not more, than most cities in the USA. We spent 15 minutes there, and then Miguel Angel drove us back. He dropped me off at Tatiana's, where she lent me the keys to her other apartment (she had two in the neighborhood :O) That night I moved my things into the apartment, made myself comfortable, and went to sleep.

The next morning I woke up early and walked to the nearby Metrolink Station to go to Union Station. The ticket cost me $1.25, and when I arrived at the station, Miguel Angel and my mom were already having breakfast at the station cafe. We ate, talked, and finally told my mom goodbye. Miguel Angel then took me back to my new apartment in Hollywood. That afternoon, I met with SLT in the same BK as last time, and we went to Macy's. She bought me a nice $40 white shirt :O and we had lunch together. We mostly talked, walked, and laughed, though kisses and caresses were not out of the menu.

On Friday I got a call from Miguel Angel's son's girlfriend, inviting me over to meet her other daughter and spend some quality time with them. They were so very nice, so I spent the day with them. We went to Universal City, and inside we ate at an italian restaurant called Bucca di Beppo's (GREAT FOOD!!), I bought 7 or 8 $2.95 hollywood souvenir mints at a gift shop, and Miguel Angel's son (called Manfredo) paid for EVERYTHING. And then we went to downtown LA to pick up a bag of stuff that my mom had given some guy at the airport. They returned me to my apartment at night, and that night I spent the night with Tatiana and her cool girlfriend Sophia. We ate guacamole with tostadas and spent all night just talking and talking and talking about all kinds of things. It was really a nice evening. At some points Tatiana and Sophia began kissing beside me, which was sort of arousing, but I didn't feel QUITE so welcome at their place as to propose an exotic adventure with both of them at the same time.

Saturday July the 14th (French Independence Day) was definitely a most special day. I gave SLT the address of my apartment and she came by at around 8 in the morning. We kissed at the sight of each other, and then we quietly walked into my apartment, side by side. And then... oh well. What would you expect to happen between an aroused guy and a horny girl alone in an apartment with the door locked, and a big nice soft bed? We kissed, we wrapped our arms around each other, and our mouths began exploring each other's bodies, leaving trails of kisses and tingling pleasure behind. We spent maybe 10-20 minutes experimenting with each other, gently touching and playfully penetrating each other's clothes. Our crotches rubbed together on the bed, and a little later on the bed our shirts and her bra fell down. Again I played with her breasts with my fingers and tongue, and my hands admired the amazing sculpture of her body.

Her lack of stature was evident when I couldn't both kiss her and rub her groin with mine at the same time, but I managed. Our upper bodies naked now, pleasure and passion were erupting all the time with every little touch we gave, and sweat was coming off more and more. Not to go into too much detail, I ended up with only a bracelet on my wrist, while she only kept a necklace and her panties. The whole session lasted between one and two hours. It was a very unique experience to share, and we both finished happy and satisfied. She then had to go back to her house for her mom's sake, so we then drove back to the BK in downtown and said goodbye, unsure if we were to see each other again.

Sunday was a leisure day. I did nothing in the morning but lay on the bed and think about yesterday's happenings. It was not easy to accept that I had finally come that close to sex. Technically, I thought, we're both still virgins - but of course the concept of virginality did not truly apply to any of us two. I visited Tatiana and Sophia in the afternoon, and we went for a quick dip in the neighbors' pool. Tatiana was wearing this awesome tiny red and white bikini, but I paid no compliment lest Sophia became jealous.

I decided to leave the next day, monday, for Seattle. The West Hollywood Greyhound bus station was only about four blocks away from my apartment, so I thought it would be fairly easy to go catch it there. However, SLT and I still planned a second lightning meeting for that day. She came at about 3 in the afternoon and had another nice long session of kissing, moaning, and sweating. This time we were much more in a hurry - she only had about 3 hours to get back home. Our clothes slided off much faster this second time, and we were soon doing the very same movements that had brought me to a climax the last time. Her moans were loud and arousing, so I turned the TV on to an episode of "Friends" to disguise our sounds of love. We lost ourselves between our kisses and desire, and soon lay down peacefully on the bed beside each other. Just like saturday, her panties was left intact on her and I was left bare.

Just a few minutes later, we said goodbye. I then packed all of my stuff, cleaned up the apartment, and left the room for good. I walked down to Tatiana's with my luggage on me and gave her the keys to her apartment, thanking her for her most generous help (I didn't tell her about SLT, though). She invited me up to her place for a couple of minutes, after which Miguel Angel called and told me he was waiting for me downstairs. I said goodbye to Tatiana, thanked her again, and met Miguel Angel downstairs.

He then took me down to Beverly Hills to look at the exaggeratedly clean, luxurious, and famous neighborhood. The impeccability of it was amazing. I couldn't discern a single speck of fainted paint or a misplaced object. The grass was intensely rainbow green, the rows of trees around us lifted their branches unanimously up into the sky - all of them the same, perfectly uniformed, all of them undistinguishable from one another. We drove on and saw the famous Californian beach, filled with benches, volleyball nets, joggers and skaters. After the little tour, he drove me up to downtown Greyhound station and bought me my $192 roundtrip ticket to Seattle, and was unwilling to accept the equivalent quantity in cash from me.

The bus trip was boring. Plain boring. A 28 hour ride looks much better on paper than riding the actual bus. We, the passengers, were forced to get out and in of the bus at least 8 times before reaching Seattle. Sacramento, Redding, Portland, and several other station names appeared before me each time I got down from a bus. I finally reached Seattle station and thankfully went inside. Surprisingly enough, my mother was there waiting for me, at 11:30PM, though I had told her I would be arriving the next morning. A taxi drove us all the way to Genevieve's. She was awake, so I finally got to meet the old lady. She's just turned 91, and she looks it, but she's sweet and funny, so I liked her a lot.

The next few days were spent talking with Genevieve about her family and her life in younger years while in France, playing with her female, bushy white, cute cat "La Diva". We also went out with Christine, Genevieve's daughter, and Marisha, her maid. They both drove us around the suburbs of Seattle, and we got to visit Puget Sound (a big water body connecting with the ocean), the Seattle arboretum, the Seattle Flower Conservatory, Bainbridge Island crossing the Sound on a ferry :), we saw the Husky Stadium, and ate outside a couple of times. It was very nice to spend time with all of them. They were all very kind and generous, and were happy to tell us about the history of Seattle. All the time while I was in Seattle, SLT sent me emails. I checked my email only about once a day, but I managed to reply her emails and say hello too. She wrote me letters where she said she missed me, she loved me, and that she would never forget the wonderful moments we spent together. Inside of me, I thought she was overdoing our whole thing, but pleased her by replying that I felt the same way. Many things about our meeting and relationship were a little extraordinary, but although I liked her very much as a person, I couldn't truly, honestly bring myself to say that I loved her.

July the 22nd, my mom and I left Seattle. She took the train in the morning and I the bus in the afternoon. Due to a late bus, I had to wait four long, boring hours in Sacramento before boarding my next scheduled bus to LA. I got to LA at 3 in the morning, and called Miguel Angel at 5 (he told me to call as soon as I got there). He picked me up at the station and we drove to Union Station to go look for my mom. We found her snugly asleep on one of the station seats. We woke her up and took her the car, after which he took us to a Holiday Inn and paid a room for us so we could stay for 5 hours in the morning before checkout at noon :O. We clenased ourselves, rested, and redressed. I actually filled the tub with hot water and relaxed in it for about half an hour. Manfredo and her girlfriend picked us up at the hotel precisely at noon, and they took us all the way to their house again. We found Melissa in the house again, and she accompanied us for another delicious lunch at Bucca di Beppo's. After returning to their house and a few hours of farewell chatting, Manfredo and her girlfriend Sandy took us down to LAX and left us right at the TSA entrance. We thanked them for everything and they left. And a few hours later, we were back in Guatemala, the morning of Wednesday July the 25th, back at our trusty home here in San Cristobal.

Then the days passed by. My sister was to be married on August the 11th, and now the attention turned to my family. Each and every one of my 6 siblings and 2 parents were to be together during that day. Isabel flew from Connecticut where she was studying in Yale, Alicia flew from Chicago, my mom came with me from Los Angeles, my dad and Pedro came from Chicago a little later, Marcos flew from Austin, and the rest were already here in Guatemala. The days before the wedding were loud with yells and cries between my mom and my sister, who always seemed to disagree on the wedding plans. But at last my sister was married on August the 11th in Antigua at the "Capuchinas" ruins, and suddenly the family came into a plateau of calm.

And then the celebrations continued. Farewell parties were thrown here in my house for my mom's leaving on the 15th and for my dad and little brother's flight just yesterday in the morning. And now at last, after a full 24 hours of typing and typing, I'm finished with this most hugest of blog entries I have ever written. Whew.

Oh, I almost forgot. My scholarship applications to Taiwan and Japan were both rejected, so I'm now looking for possible jobs in the area, and am doing a little freelancing so as to keep my finances healthy and stable.