Threat

at times I see care being offered

and the recipient believes it a threat

eager to repel it

eager to avoid it

I wonder why

in the first plane, care is sticky

or seems so, at least.

a widespread expectation exists

that if a person gives care to another

then care must be given back

that if that first arm of care crosses over

a bond is created, and can never really be undone.

sticky care.

thus we allow ourselves to help each other

only via transactions

where help is mutually given,

and contractually known to be equal,

thus clean to cut away.

also when care is offered

I can feel it as a threat

because the other wants something from me

and the offered care is not genuine

but as a bait to catch my own care

the pull of expectation is often heavier

than the lure of a thin mask of care

and I prefer to form no sticky bonds

with those that hide.

in particular, the care that a man

offers a woman

and sometimes viceversa as well,

why is it so often rebuked?

unwanted? disdained?

tis because the care comes not alone

it comes hiding the expectation

that they will receive care as well.

and history, collective and individual,

reminds us that these tainted offers

carry such hidden motives

because not long after the offer,

the offerer comes to demand

what he believes is due him

even though the debt was never stated.

"let me love you, deeply and fully,

because then you will love me too".

the second line is that unspoken motive

that causes the deep fear and disdain

because even in silence, it is presumed,

and so even when truly absent, it is presumed,

and it becomes difficult

to express untransactional affection,

the purer sort.