Writing I did during Los Angeles Impromptu:
On the plane to LAX:
On the plane. Thinking about secrets, love, affairs, and trips. About personal secrets, public secrets, and secret secrets. Few people know the whole picture. Not even Mimi knows all of it. At least I didn't tell her. Maybe Marcelo's the only one, except he doesn't really know about Mimi. So, it seems the only one who knows everything is me. :)
3 main secrets:
Andrea
Mimi
SLT
And now I'm flying to LA to meet SLT, the Sexy Latin Tiger.
She's not the only reason to go to LA, but she's definitely the most compelling one. Sitting on the plane beside my mom, who officially knows none of my secrets, writing this helps clear up my mind.
@ Genevieve's in Seattle:
Trouble sleeping. Keep thinking about Andrea & SLT. I will tell them, both of them, confess to them the whole truth. All of it. To whatever level of detail they want to know. Interesting happenings, these. Tests of honesty, which I personally claim as what I strive for. I am supposedly honest. I claim in my writings and to myself that I am. And even so, I lied to two girls, simultaneously.
As far as I know, they know nothing of each other. But they will. I will tell them.
Out of Andrea I obtained love, friendship, companionship, and foreplay. Kisses, caresses, hugs, sweet whispers, a common mischief. 8 years apart, we enjoyed each other's company intensely, and beyond a confident, we found in each other a lover and a partner in crime. She was my real first kiss, and I developed a care for her that I've never achieved for anyone else. Extraordinary as a person, common to me in many traits and opposite in many others, we had many good times together. Excellent times. Were it not for her family's discontent, we'd probably still be a strong couple.
While my love with Andrea grew through friendship, my relationship with SLT began from sex. Never met, never seen, I first spoke to her through the social photo website Zorpia. Claiming to be a Guatemalan like me, she was just about the most popular girl in Zorpia, one of the site admins, and a very mysterious online lady. I complimented her on her hair, to which she courteously responded and agreed to talk to me through MSN. For nights we chatted, enjoying each other, until one night things changed. She likes to imagine and mention action in her chats, like *pulls you by the hair* and *slaps you*. Well, one certain friday night, we started tickling and pushing... as they say, "one thing led to another", and we ended with a complete sex session online. It was very vivid, very strong, and I thought it lasted for hours. We did it again the next night, and the next, and the next, until it positively became an addiction for us. She turned out to live in LA, and only days later, low flight fares and an old friend's invitation helped me plan an impromptu trip to LA. It was all sudden, without much thought, but still very clearly set up.
To make it short, SLT & I met, held hands, kissed, touched, licked, sucked, bit, undressed, caressed, tickled, tasted, pushed, pulled, pressed each other. We sweated, moaned, groaned, thrusted hips in several different sessions: in her car, in a shopping mall and finally in a borrowed apartment to the background of an episode of "Friends", intended to muffle the sound of SLT's moans and the bed's squeaks and creaks. Were it not for her having been in her menstrual period on our last days together, we would've easily, effectively, completely copulated. A kotex-type pad and a pair of panties were all that blocked me from going inside her. Still, the sensations we had were awesome. As the days with SLT progressed, I realized two things: 1) I'd met her because of her willingness for sex with me more than for her value as a person (though she is special), and 2) while my affection for her remained mostly lusty and physical, she grew true love for me. The kind of love that made her say "I love you", and made her give herself to me completely.
And they know nothing of each other (as far as I know). But they must know. I will tell them. By this time, Andrea has officially broken up with me, so it will be easier to tell her. But first I'll give her the gift of a "koi" floating candle (fish & love in Japanese). For she is a Pisces as well as I. Then I will tell her the truth. I know her, I know she won't cry out or get angry. But if all girls are sensitive, she will be a little hurt. I hope she still is happy after I tell her. :)
SLT will be harder. How can I tell someone in love that I had a simultaneous girl with her? I think straight to the eye and truthfully is the best way. God, please help me let both of them (Andrea & SLT) know the complete truth without any damage or hurt to their minds or hearts.
In a Greyhound bus back to LA:
The world meets the mind in a continuous flow of ideas. When writing I should be free like a bird, innocent as a flower, pure as light. Also when living. When thinking, when loving... All is revealed through its essence.
Near the end of my journey, July 22nd, sometime in the middle of the [night]. Inside a Greyhound bus heading south, somewhere in Oregon:
I keep looking at that girl two rows in front of me, on my left, across the aisle. She seems to like to both read and write, since she had a magazine in her hands, with a look of wishful thinking (even though I didn't see her face) before taking a pen and opening a notebook on an empty page.
I want to talk to her, but she has company. Guess I'll wait for her to stand up... then I'll make my move.
So Andrea & SLT. What a situation. Deceit is involved, and the deceitful one is me. But no more. I'll confess. I'll tell each one of them the truth. The truth. No happy relationship has deceit involved, I think. Happiness is about freedom, comfort, and love, not about holding secrets... burdens to hide for time to come.
a little later in the same bus:
I did a slightly daring thing with the slightly mysterious girl two rows from me. I wrote a little greeting message and a request to chat with her for a while. It wasn't much well received, though I did get a response with a name and a happy face on it.
and a little later:
My body moves through the world. It swings, it turns, it runs, it is dragged hundreds and thousands of miles. But I don't feel as going here or there. I don't feel like I'm changing places all the time. I'm always in the exact same place: here.
On the plane to LAX:
On the plane. Thinking about secrets, love, affairs, and trips. About personal secrets, public secrets, and secret secrets. Few people know the whole picture. Not even Mimi knows all of it. At least I didn't tell her. Maybe Marcelo's the only one, except he doesn't really know about Mimi. So, it seems the only one who knows everything is me. :)
3 main secrets:
Andrea
Mimi
SLT
And now I'm flying to LA to meet SLT, the Sexy Latin Tiger.
She's not the only reason to go to LA, but she's definitely the most compelling one. Sitting on the plane beside my mom, who officially knows none of my secrets, writing this helps clear up my mind.
@ Genevieve's in Seattle:
Trouble sleeping. Keep thinking about Andrea & SLT. I will tell them, both of them, confess to them the whole truth. All of it. To whatever level of detail they want to know. Interesting happenings, these. Tests of honesty, which I personally claim as what I strive for. I am supposedly honest. I claim in my writings and to myself that I am. And even so, I lied to two girls, simultaneously.
As far as I know, they know nothing of each other. But they will. I will tell them.
Out of Andrea I obtained love, friendship, companionship, and foreplay. Kisses, caresses, hugs, sweet whispers, a common mischief. 8 years apart, we enjoyed each other's company intensely, and beyond a confident, we found in each other a lover and a partner in crime. She was my real first kiss, and I developed a care for her that I've never achieved for anyone else. Extraordinary as a person, common to me in many traits and opposite in many others, we had many good times together. Excellent times. Were it not for her family's discontent, we'd probably still be a strong couple.
While my love with Andrea grew through friendship, my relationship with SLT began from sex. Never met, never seen, I first spoke to her through the social photo website Zorpia. Claiming to be a Guatemalan like me, she was just about the most popular girl in Zorpia, one of the site admins, and a very mysterious online lady. I complimented her on her hair, to which she courteously responded and agreed to talk to me through MSN. For nights we chatted, enjoying each other, until one night things changed. She likes to imagine and mention action in her chats, like *pulls you by the hair* and *slaps you*. Well, one certain friday night, we started tickling and pushing... as they say, "one thing led to another", and we ended with a complete sex session online. It was very vivid, very strong, and I thought it lasted for hours. We did it again the next night, and the next, and the next, until it positively became an addiction for us. She turned out to live in LA, and only days later, low flight fares and an old friend's invitation helped me plan an impromptu trip to LA. It was all sudden, without much thought, but still very clearly set up.
To make it short, SLT & I met, held hands, kissed, touched, licked, sucked, bit, undressed, caressed, tickled, tasted, pushed, pulled, pressed each other. We sweated, moaned, groaned, thrusted hips in several different sessions: in her car, in a shopping mall and finally in a borrowed apartment to the background of an episode of "Friends", intended to muffle the sound of SLT's moans and the bed's squeaks and creaks. Were it not for her having been in her menstrual period on our last days together, we would've easily, effectively, completely copulated. A kotex-type pad and a pair of panties were all that blocked me from going inside her. Still, the sensations we had were awesome. As the days with SLT progressed, I realized two things: 1) I'd met her because of her willingness for sex with me more than for her value as a person (though she is special), and 2) while my affection for her remained mostly lusty and physical, she grew true love for me. The kind of love that made her say "I love you", and made her give herself to me completely.
And they know nothing of each other (as far as I know). But they must know. I will tell them. By this time, Andrea has officially broken up with me, so it will be easier to tell her. But first I'll give her the gift of a "koi" floating candle (fish & love in Japanese). For she is a Pisces as well as I. Then I will tell her the truth. I know her, I know she won't cry out or get angry. But if all girls are sensitive, she will be a little hurt. I hope she still is happy after I tell her. :)
SLT will be harder. How can I tell someone in love that I had a simultaneous girl with her? I think straight to the eye and truthfully is the best way. God, please help me let both of them (Andrea & SLT) know the complete truth without any damage or hurt to their minds or hearts.
In a Greyhound bus back to LA:
The world meets the mind in a continuous flow of ideas. When writing I should be free like a bird, innocent as a flower, pure as light. Also when living. When thinking, when loving... All is revealed through its essence.
Near the end of my journey, July 22nd, sometime in the middle of the [night]. Inside a Greyhound bus heading south, somewhere in Oregon:
I keep looking at that girl two rows in front of me, on my left, across the aisle. She seems to like to both read and write, since she had a magazine in her hands, with a look of wishful thinking (even though I didn't see her face) before taking a pen and opening a notebook on an empty page.
I want to talk to her, but she has company. Guess I'll wait for her to stand up... then I'll make my move.
So Andrea & SLT. What a situation. Deceit is involved, and the deceitful one is me. But no more. I'll confess. I'll tell each one of them the truth. The truth. No happy relationship has deceit involved, I think. Happiness is about freedom, comfort, and love, not about holding secrets... burdens to hide for time to come.
a little later in the same bus:
I did a slightly daring thing with the slightly mysterious girl two rows from me. I wrote a little greeting message and a request to chat with her for a while. It wasn't much well received, though I did get a response with a name and a happy face on it.
and a little later:
My body moves through the world. It swings, it turns, it runs, it is dragged hundreds and thousands of miles. But I don't feel as going here or there. I don't feel like I'm changing places all the time. I'm always in the exact same place: here.
