Darkness in Light, Sorrow in Joy - From High School

 Darkness in Light, Sorrow in Joy

Everyday I walk around and see every place I always do

Everything is just so boring, everything is just so dull

Now no one or anything makes any sense at all

Nothing has a purpose, nothing has a cause.

Things that appealed me in past years

Have been slowly peeling themselves away

Until the only thing that remains

Is a worn-out, gray senseless pulp.

(Like everything else)

As these things start to melt away

I try to look for more appealing things

But I find none, and when I do,

They quickly lose their happiness.

Some old rituals have been laid

To make this life a bit more plaid

But they're sense appealing, not to me

And disturb my thinking, disturb my own self

(Like everything else)

And suddenly I realize

That life is simply not worth living

Some minute things can be better

But none can be better overall.

When my body laughs, I don't laugh

When my body cries, I don't cry

When my body feels, I don't feel

Nothing's worth anything to laugh, cry, or feel about

(Like everything else)

I feel mostly imprisoned in a land of nonsense

In a body that slowly takes control of me

I see my visions as in a camera

I feel my feelings like a tongue

All outside of me is so unreal

All mirages, all like ghosts

Nothing means anything any more

T'would be so easy to leave it to the other people

(To everyone else)

Paper Dreams - From High School

Paper Dreams

I had a really interesting dream last night

Too bad I can't remember what it was

But anyhow I do recall the last part

A heavy-looking, green shape falling, and a sound with that

I can recall absurdities that happened to me there

I was thirty at a time, and then only fifteen

And in the dream, I realized I had lived before

And when I realized that, I changed the way it was

That was all I remember from the dream

But this morning in the bus, I cannot forget,

A school bag behind me was sitting on a tire

The heavy-looking, green bag fell down with a clat

I had thought about it all day long

That was exactly the thing I had seen before

I had eaten, I had slept, I had all myself well-kept

No daydream possible, no mind trick at all

Why could I have seen that thing in a dream before?

Especially in a dream that made no sense at all?

If dreams do really know the future,

Why is it that I could change my dream just as I wished?

Did I change my life when dreaming last night?

Or was it simply a brief oversight?

Too bad you can't edit your dreams while awake

If they make the future, t'would be useful

I know it has happened to many people before

But this is my first time I have seen it whole

It fills me with fear, dread, and desire

To know more about dreams, and try not to dream

Dreams are malleable, I know that already

Inside one you can change it all you want

And when you just least expect it,

A reflection of it comes and makes itself real

Uncertainty - From High School

Uncertainty

The world is full of certainties

I can't argue with that

But I can say that it is based on

The world being a certainty itself

All that people know and do

Is based just upon five things:

Sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch

Nothing else helps us in that

Even the senses were discovered

With the help of themselves

And who can tell they really exist?

Nobody knows, nobody cares

We think, of course, that all this world

Is real, our senses tell us that

But the only reason senses are real

Is because the mind makes them seem like that

We are born, our senses too,

The mind starts picking up information

It's the only thing the mind has

It's the only explanation

That's the only reason why we know this is real

But even if it was, t'would make no difference

The things we touch and feel so much may really be outside

But where we really feel them is in the head, inside

What fundamental certainty does anyone really know?

I believe I know one, a very important one

Even if all the outsides were really cleaned up, empty

We know that something does exist, the receiver, me

Empty Signs - From High School

 Empty Signs

Everywhere you see in the streets

Of the commonly crowded places

A lot of posters, a lot of signs

You can see them all around

Some are big, some are small

Some are paper, some are steel

But what they really make you feel

Is really nothing at all

The publicists that make these things

Spend a lot of time doing them

But what's really interesting is

Other people don't look at them

Obviously, the cause of this is modern society

People are so checked in time they can't afford to look at them

But without the society, it's amusing to note

That signs really never make any effect at all

They serve now only as guidelines

Looking for houses, buildings, and parks

But without anyone noticing them

These signs work together to make a real work of art

Posters on the post, drawings on the squares

Even the graffiti that is seen below the bridge

Everything has something written that was designed as art

And together they make some kind of 3D collage

Imagine all the work of art that has been written down

Mixed together in different shapes, designs, and colors

And put together all around in mostly a random way

That's what this work of art is more or less about

The problem with this is

That nobody really notices

And it's very improbable

That people will ever do

People - From High School

 [Written around August 2001]

People

I really believe that people are strange

I, being one of them, makes no change

They have a nature so controversial

Their reasons are only known to the doers

Many say people have basic needs

To live, to grow, to survive

But it may seem as if the mind

Does not agree and pays no heed

The miserable boy you see on the street

Would deem Paradise a small piece of meat

The beautiful, rich, teenage daughter

Thinks it's damnation to eat from another's

People may have misinterpreted this,

But I'm not blaming anyone in the least

I just meant to say how the mind is adapter

To everything that, since birth, it capted

This means that the mind does not react

To the former needs that this body should have

It simply makes thoughts perfectly clear

About everything that people see near

T'would seem this process is quite efficient

But there's one thing it leaves deficient

All people are ambitious, everybody knows

But as thoughts expand, ambition also grows

Ambition creates the field to progress

But it also brings problems in the process

So that, by nature, Utopia can't exist

No one can escape problems, no one can resist

No matter how hard people try

They will always try to get up high

It's not bad, it's just so unreal

How the mind always makes itself heel

Of course, it all seems natural

It's what we know, it's factual

But still it doesn't stop surprising me

How animals can be happier than we

Creation - From High School

[Written around August 2001]

 Many people have often asked:

Why would God create a universe with so much that is evil?

They have missed a greater conundrum:

Why would God create a universe at all?

If God really wanted to make a world

He'd make it an utopia

Cause everyone I know always says:

He's just, good, and omnipotent

This somehow contradicts the sayings that are in the Bible

It says God made man a reflection of himself

And one sure thing I'm really certain of

Is, that man is not, just, good, and omnipotent

This means that God is really just like man

With feelings, thoughts, appeals, and even desires

This would put upon the Greek way of thinking

That God isn't perfect, but acts with convenience

If this is true, then perhaps the past views are wrong

God may have made this universe just not to get bored

Or perhaps he's only part of a more complex reality

And we're only his toy, his experiment, his something

As long as we know this is true or we are in suspense

Then all of our existence wouldn't make any sense

Our lives become so dull, so strange, so senseless

That we recall the old saying: Ignorance is Bliss

This view, of course, may seem very ridiculous

But it is formed in a way that is pretty meticulous

The interesting and strangest thing of all about this theme

Is that nothing about this can be touched, or proved, or seen

Based upon all this above that I wrote law by law,

Then what is below is totally correct

If man is evil, and God's reflection, and this universe is senseless

There's no reason why not to say that God is also evil